Manufactured Dive Bars suck

[BEER]

My buddy invited me to a local hardcore/deathcore show. I'm into it so I asked where, and he named a bar I've never heard of. Turned out it just opened Downtown, which isn't an area known for hosting heavy shows.

So, I got here and walk in and it's the rackiest place I've ever seen. Walls painted black, tons of cluttered "metal" paraphernalia on the walls. Most of the people here seem like they came in on accident and were too polite to leave.

But fuck it. A good show is a good show.

 

[Der Eisbär]

Nothing you said in the op tells me that the place sucks. What's your gripe with it exactly?

 

[Osculater]

How's the cock scene though?

 

[BEER]

Nothing you said in the op tells me that the place sucks. What's your gripe with it exactly?

Sorry.

Its trying too hard to be a "dive bar". It's a nice space in the district known for their night clubs, but it's really tacky inside, black walls, low lights, slightly smokey. The crowd isn't representative of a real dive crowd. They have craft beer on tap and 15 dollar dinner entrees.

Real dive bars don't start out trying to be dive bars. It's uncomfortable lmao.

 

[Der Eisbär]

Sorry.

Its trying too hard to be a "dive bar". It's a nice space in the district known for their night clubs, but it's really tacky inside, black walls, low lights, slightly smokey. The crowd isn't representative of a real dive crowd. They have craft beer on tap and 15 dollar dinner entrees.

Real dive bars don't start out trying to be dive bars. It's uncomfortable lmao.

Fair enough. Sounds annoying. Cheers. Hope the show is good.

 

[BEER]

How's the cock scene though?

B-

 

[Reyesnuthugr]

The correct way to do it is to open a new place with a clean yet edgy, mocking vibe, and it will naturally degenerate as time progresses.

 

[Rhood]

I don't get why new bars open up to look old.
Modern bars still look better than rustic ones.

 

[Pliny Pete]

Do they at least have a resident meth dealer selling teens in the bathroom?

 

[JSN]

Sounds like the watering hole equivalent of one of those manufactured downtown areas they make in the suburbs which is really just a shopping mall turned inside out. Silver Spring, MD is the grossest example of this i've ever seen. I'm sure Texas has far worse.

On the other hand, most of these places are better than going to TGI Friday's.

 

[ReAnimator Reagan]

ok, to make a dive bar
1) urinate on the floor over a 3 month period
2) sex with hookers throughout for a few weeks
3) take every single fart jar you can find with a vintage between 1981-1990 and smash them inside and close windows and doors
4) rob a sperm bank and blood bank, scatter the booty over the bar and stools and door jams
5) find incandescent light bulbs at the town dump
6) instead of a stereo system get a JVC boombox

profit

 

[BEER]

Becoming a dive bar is a long process that involves shit tier human beings making a decent local spot their regular watering hole. The normal locals stop coming, and people start doing heroin in the bathrooms.

Opening a bar as a dive is a dumb gimmick.

 

[DoCtOrWhO]

Why would you want to drink at a dive bar? They are for alcoholic old people

 

[jefferz]

ok, to make a dive bar
1) urinate on the floor over a 3 month period
2) sex with hookers throughout for a few weeks
3) take every single fart jar you can find with a vintage between 1981-1990 and smash them inside and close windows and doors
4) rob a sperm bank and blood bank, scatter the booty over the bar and stools and door jams
5) find incandescent light bulbs at the town dump
6) instead of a stereo system get a JVC boombox

profit

You forgot stickers built up over 2" thick on the bathroom wall.

 

[Osculater]

B-

 

[BEER]

Why would you want to drink at a dive bar? They are for alcoholic old people

The only people who want to drink in dive bars are people that don't have friends other than drinking buddies.

 

[BEER]

First review on Google is golden though.

 

[DoCtOrWhO]

First review on Google is golden though.

Looks like they are doing it right. Dive status achieved.

 

[BEER]

I have since found out that the bar is owned by the wealthy bored dude who constantly buys and "rebrands" failing bars.

 

[DoctorTaco]

Sorry.

Its trying too hard to be a "dive bar". It's a nice space in the district known for their night clubs, but it's really tacky inside, black walls, low lights, slightly smokey. The crowd isn't representative of a real dive crowd. They have craft beer on tap and 15 dollar dinner entrees.

Real dive bars don't start out trying to be dive bars. It's uncomfortable lmao.

it comes down to pricing, imo. 2 dollar tall boys, 4 dollar well drinks.
Shot and a beer for 5 bucks special.

Why would you want to drink at a dive bar? They are for alcoholic old people

those are the only people I care to drink with besides maybe my dog