Manly vs. Metro

ferrolent

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I thought of this idea while taking a brutal contrast shower. It was my worst/best contrast shower yet and it left a buncha weird, red streaks on my skin. I'll start off with the manly

I am man!
1. Shave when I feel like it.
2. Scratch my ass/balls in public places
3. Cut my own hair
4. My recent jobs: bushwork, running chainsaws

My sad metro side
1. Tweeze unibrow.
2. Shave my pits occasionally.
3. Sometimes wear too much polyester.
4. Curls, leg extensions... tanning.
 
why do leg extensions nancy? unibrows should be tweezed to avoid evil. take that razor away from your pits and onto your pubes, then you'll be the talk of the town!! of course trimming the armpits is good if you sweat like a mad bastard and prefer to not stink like shit all the time.

my metro side? 5% of the hand cream i buy actually gets used for moisturizing my hands and occassionaly my face in winter when it's dry. the rest is for personal use. which makes me 5% metro.

i think this 5% metro business is negated by shaving my own head, including attempting to do the back part with a razor myself, and pulling stitches out of my head just a few minutes ago.

time to go moisturize.....
 
I am man!
1) I will never admit something I just lifted is heavy!
2) the only mixed drink I like involves nothing but bournon and ice
3) My food is never spicy enough
4) I think a cigar and a stiff drink is an effective method for controlling anxiety

My sad metro side
1) I trim my pubic hairs (not shave, you :eek::eek::eek:s)
2) It takes me some time to find jeans I like
3) I like nice shirts
 
I'm a man
1) I never ask for directions when I'm lost
2)I clean my bathroom once a year
3)I enjoy confrontation in public if justified
4)I sleep on my couch because my bed is covered with laundry

I'm a metro
1)I watch Italian films from the 70's with subtitles
2)I use a moisturizer on my face after I shower
3)I go to and participate in poetry/book readings
 
Manly:
1: I drive a lifted black Jeep with huge knobby tires.
2: Park Ranger (fire fighter type, not the yogi bear type).
3: Judo
4: Beer drinker, hell raiser, willing to fight for free
5: I can talk Nascar with anyone.
6: I can work a tractor, bulldozer, or back hoe...bitches.

Metro femmy side:
1: I actually did an aerobic style workout once, by myself in my living room, to Madonna's music, while wearing spandex shorts.
2: I enjoy fine art.
3: I took a jazz dance class once.
4: I used to have a single baby blue diamond ear ring in my left ear.
5: I watched an entire season of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
6: I usually go to a "hair stylist" instead of a barber to get my hair done.
 
Bubble Boy said:
Manly:
1: I drive a lifted black Jeep with huge knobby tires.
2: Park Ranger (fire fighter type, not the yogi bear type).
3: Judo
4: Beer drinker, hell raiser, willing to fight for free
5: I can talk Nascar with anyone.
6: I can work a tractor, bulldozer, or back hoe...bitches.

Metro femmy side:
1: I actually did an aerobic style workout once, by myself in my living room, to Madonna's music, while wearing spandex shorts.
2: I enjoy fine art.
3: I took a jazz dance class once.
4: I used to have a single baby blue diamond ear ring in my left ear.
5: I watched an entire season of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
6: I usually go to a "hair stylist" instead of a barber to get my hair done.

holy shit!!

anyways, shaving pubes is aight, no need to do all of them. just the base and maybe the nutsack a bit, if you can roll with it. chicks really dig it.

manly: i grew a beard because shaving was a pain and took too much time
metro: see above shaving related comments

oh, and i used to use my woman's puffy exfoliating shower scrubby thing. but i kept on getting rashes from bjj and wrestling, and the puffy thing made them worse. so don't exfoliate your rashes, mmkay. i'm now on a steady diet of prescription rash cream too.
 
Manny
1. I love anything where people/things get blown up/beat up.
2. I once saw a ghost. I laughed at it.
3. When I get injured, I blow it off. I once blew off a liver tumor for a year.
4. Shut up. bitch, I'm watching K-1.

Fanny
1. I often hold my girlfriend's hand while we sleep at night.
2. I use lip balm all the time. I'm addicted.
3. I used to go clubbing and wear skin-tight shirts occasionally.
4. I once let my girlfriend shove a pill of ecstasy up my ass.
 
All that is man

- Have a shed full of tools
- Never take my car to the garage unless it's SERIOUSLY beyond me
- Shave my own head and have a manly, woodsman beard
- The only thing I ever had tanned is my arse
- Wear unfashionable, practical clothes
- Train in an old iron gym with a genuine, leaking ceiling

Girly, metro :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:-fuck

- Almost cried at a Miyazaki film (hey, it was Grave of the Fireflies)
- Get home early and do the housework so girlfriend doesn't have to
(to be fair, this is so I can take her straight upstairs and fuck her like a condemmed man)
- Work in an office job and wear a tie
- Do a lot of cardio
- Like to cook
 
I am man!
- Weigh over 200lbs and dont bitch about my weight
- I eat my steaks only when they're rare
- I drive a vehicle which gets <10mpg
- Train for free in a rusty, stinky weight room
- I use the "decorative" towels to dry my balls (got in trouble for this last night)
- 80% of my boxers have holes so my balls hang out

Metro side
- I admit to once doing a routine with cable curls
- I get choked up during good movies/TV shows
- I trim my pubic hairs
- I talk in "baby talk" when I want a blow job from my wife
- I use hair gel and LaMer face cream on a daily basis
 
Me Man!
-Hair salongs are for pussies, I let my hair grow until its ugly then I trim it army style
-My main hobby involves people kicking me with their shins and bending my arms in strange directions
-It can go months before I spend money on new clothes
-Lifts iron in a cheap as powerlifting/olympic lifting gym
-Got a beard

Me Metro!
-When I believe im going to get lucky I trim my pubes and shaves my balls
-Once I shaved my armpits
-My metro friend once convinced me to buy skinlotion for my face. I also used it a few times...
-I regularely cry at good movies
-A few years ago my favorite excersice in the gym was curls, at this time I also found 21s and dropsets on tricep pressdowns to be hardcore training...
 
I am man!
WHEN:
-I walk around naked in the locker with pride
-Smile at people who don't like me
-Constantly stick my hands in my pants in public
-Fart in public
-Hate the mall
Metro side
WHEN:
-I occasionally wear pink
-Trim pubic hair(urban...)
-Own alot of shoes
-My gf picks out my clothes(she works at hollister...)
 
Mantastic
- I have more tools than sense
- I weld a lot and have a VW bus on it's side in my garage
- My dogs name is Bacon
- My wedding band is made out of a steel nut
- I'm a drummer
- Scotch, scotch scotch
- I have a penis

teh pink side of the force...
- I'm naturally hairless
- Bacon burps louder than I can
- My belt always matches my shoes
- I once did the laundry in 1998 (I hated it though)
- I refuse to fart in front of women...
- I own more than one striped shirt
- I can use the word "parfait" in a sentence (thanks king)
- I uh...um....I can...dance... *flogs self mercilessly with branding iron*
 
Ugrak is !
- I have a punchbag suspended from an asbestos roof!
- I am distinguished with an axe!
- I have a guitar!
- I have an evil leather jacket!
- My favourite movies are German war films with English subtitles!
- Buckfast!
- Deadlifting!

Ugrak is ?
- I like cooking!
- I can dance!
- I have a nylon-string guitar, and the fingernails to play it!
- I hate it when my clothes do not co-ordinate!
- Not deadlifting!
 
I am man...

1. 340+ Wilks.

2. My dog can backpack with me (and carry his own pack).

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3. I hand-built my surround sound system, including four 15​
 
Manly:
1. Like to hit things
2. Like to powerlift
3. Like to scream 'Oh Yeah'
4. like espresso with no BS

Metro
1. I like proper english and dislike profanity
2. I use facial lotion
3. ??? I 'm sure theres more
 
I am MAN:
- I have a manly Beard... no bitch beard line thin bullshit.
- I rarely shop for cloths and i'll wear my favourite T-shirts with holes in them, out in public.
- IChange my own motor oil.
- I perform Compound lifts only.
- I listen to Metal frequently.
- I grunt and sweat profusely while working out.
- I love Beer and watching Combat events at sports bars... fuck dance clubs.

My Vaginal, estrogen showing side....
- Trim pubes, Shave balls
- Use hand lotions and facial creams
- I own 5 different Colognes
- I'll shed a tear at a good film
- Willing to cuddle after sex
- I own Designer cloths
- I enjoy Poetry.
 
Stop staring at me or I'll kick your ass:
1) I think a good ass whoopin' is the key to discipline.
2) I hate vegetarianism and veganism with all my passion.
3) I think the kid who courts my daughter should have to kill a bear, bare-handed.
4) I wear boots everywhere (sandals ought to be outlawed for males).
5) I do all the manly jobs at work, lifting, touching of dirty things, removal of problem customers.
6) I pack weapons, and am admittedly a huge jerk to most people.
7) I wear all black all the time. Fuck colors.
8) The angrier the music the better, Metal or Hip Hop. As long as it's about killing or whoopin' ass and has plenty of cursing.
9) I hardly talk in-person, or smile, unless I already know and trust you, and I hate phones.
(don't even own a cell phone anymore, fuck 'em)
10) Doesn't let anyone get away with anything.

I am NOT gay:
1) I use anti-bacterial hand-sanitizer pretty much all the time.
2) I have long hair.
3) Women often tell me my hair is better than theirs.
4) I have an arsenal of hair clippers for multi-purposes.
5) I powder my grundle.
6) I HATE nail-dirt.
7) I grunt and sweat profusely while working out. lol (sorry brown, had to)
8) Sometimes just not in the mood for sex to the degree where it's annoyed women.
9) Have no fascination with 98% of famous women. I really don't care.
10) Never set foot in a strip club, not once.
(though that's a moral issue I could argue well for, some guys see it as blasphemy of some sort)
 
King Kabuki said:
10) Never set foot in a strip club, not once.

Ahhhh... you've never been to Tijuana, I reckon.

I love this thread. It's hysterical.
 
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