Edit: if you're talking about me not being at the hospital right now, she would not be aware if I was there. There is nothing I can do for her. The nurse told me her brain sustained a lot of trauma and she will probably die in the next 24 hours. I visited her every day, including today, except when they transferred her and the new hospital had more limited visiting hours and I didn't find out until after visitation was over. My girlfriend since January got a brain clot last week. We spent the night together and had planned to spend the following day together. In the morning, I took her to meet her friend so she could open a bank account and she was complaining of weakness in her right side because she could barely sign her name. Her friend volunteered to take her to a massage place to work it out so I told her I'd call her later. Her friend later tells me that my gf got worse so she took her to the hospital. I went to see her and she couldn't move the right side of her body and was tired and grumpy. She was still responsive though and even laughed at some jokes. The nurses kep waking her up over and over again every 30-90 minutes. They never let her sleep while they did tests on her and fed her drugs that were supposed to help with the brain clot. Everything was ok for a few days. We were talking about doing rehab to help her regain control and the nurse was optimistic because she is young and healthy. Then they transfer her to a different hospital and some surgeon made the decision (with the permission of her friend because she has no family in the US; she only had her friend and I) to operate on her which screwed her up. She has significant brain damage and may die. I hate doctors. I told her friend not to trust them. If she had just been allowed to rest then she would be ok. She was much better before the operation. She will never be the same if she lives. I'm very again marriage and having kids because it's such a liability in the US but I was really starting to believe that she was different. She didn't act like other women. She proved herself to have high moral character many times while we were together. She wanted to have a family and I was ready to do it with her. I trusted her and loved her. We talked about it and agreed that she should stop taking birth control the night before she had the blood clot. The nurse said that the oral contraceptives probably contributed to her having the blood clot. I wasn't prepared to see her like that yesterday when I visited. They removed half her skull. I barely recognized her. I want to kill the surgeon but won't. Fucking hack. She was getting better until they did this too her. People always believe doctors but so much of modern medicine is shit. If she wasn't taking birth control that a doctor prescribed this never would have happened. Last year I got sick and had a major flare up from my psoriatic arthritis. Doctors did nothing for me. They were completely useless. They wanted to prescribe expensive drugs with horrible side effects. I did my own research, changed my diet and fixed myself. I'm venting about healthcare because I'm upset about the loss but it is a major problem. Nothing is going to make her the way she was though and I can hardly breathe. I don't want to eat. I keep almost crying but I'm still numb. I can't believe that I can't see her the way she was. I want to text her. The last thing she texted was that she loves me. I miss her. Don't know what to do. This hurts.