Lost my girlfriend

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Robocok, May 17, 2018.

  1. Robocok Purple Belt

    Robocok
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    Edit: if you're talking about me not being at the hospital right now, she would not be aware if I was there. There is nothing I can do for her. The nurse told me her brain sustained a lot of trauma and she will probably die in the next 24 hours. I visited her every day, including today, except when they transferred her and the new hospital had more limited visiting hours and I didn't find out until after visitation was over.



    My girlfriend since January got a brain clot last week. We spent the night together and had planned to spend the following day together. In the morning, I took her to meet her friend so she could open a bank account and she was complaining of weakness in her right side because she could barely sign her name.

    Her friend volunteered to take her to a massage place to work it out so I told her I'd call her later. Her friend later tells me that my gf got worse so she took her to the hospital. I went to see her and she couldn't move the right side of her body and was tired and grumpy. She was still responsive though and even laughed at some jokes.

    The nurses kep waking her up over and over again every 30-90 minutes. They never let her sleep while they did tests on her and fed her drugs that were supposed to help with the brain clot.

    Everything was ok for a few days. We were talking about doing rehab to help her regain control and the nurse was optimistic because she is young and healthy.

    Then they transfer her to a different hospital and some surgeon made the decision (with the permission of her friend because she has no family in the US; she only had her friend and I) to operate on her which screwed her up. She has significant brain damage and may die. I hate doctors. I told her friend not to trust them. If she had just been allowed to rest then she would be ok. She was much better before the operation.

    She will never be the same if she lives. I'm very again marriage and having kids because it's such a liability in the US but I was really starting to believe that she was different. She didn't act like other women. She proved herself to have high moral character many times while we were together.

    She wanted to have a family and I was ready to do it with her. I trusted her and loved her. We talked about it and agreed that she should stop taking birth control the night before she had the blood clot.

    The nurse said that the oral contraceptives probably contributed to her having the blood clot.

    I wasn't prepared to see her like that yesterday when I visited. They removed half her skull. I barely recognized her. I want to kill the surgeon but won't. Fucking hack. She was getting better until they did this too her. People always believe doctors but so much of modern medicine is shit. If she wasn't taking birth control that a doctor prescribed this never would have happened.

    Last year I got sick and had a major flare up from my psoriatic arthritis. Doctors did nothing for me. They were completely useless. They wanted to prescribe expensive drugs with horrible side effects. I did my own research, changed my diet and fixed myself.

    I'm venting about healthcare because I'm upset about the loss but it is a major problem.

    Nothing is going to make her the way she was though and I can hardly breathe. I don't want to eat. I keep almost crying but I'm still numb. I can't believe that I can't see her the way she was. I want to text her. The last thing she texted was that she loves me. I miss her. Don't know what to do. This hurts.
     
    #1
    Last edited: May 17, 2018
  2. ctrlaltdelete Purple Belt

    ctrlaltdelete
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    thats a whole lot of shit to eat in a shit sandwich

    youre gonna need to talk to a therapist. it wont be easy
     
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  3. Pugilistic Red Belt

    Pugilistic
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    I thought this was gonna be another thread about a sherdogger getting an ipad. Jesus christ. Sorry dude.
     
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  4. Zer Gold Belt

    Zer
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    Holy shit, I feel for you bro
     
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  5. FierceRedBelt Red Belt

    FierceRedBelt
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    Fuck man I'm sorry.
     
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  6. Slobodan Вело ;)

    Slobodan
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    So sorry to hear this man :(
     
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  7. Anung Un Rama The Right Hand of Doom

    Anung Un Rama
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    I am so sorry, brother. I don't have the words. Hang in there pal. Get with some friends and family. Maybe even group therapy.
     
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  8. Cubo de Sangre Steel Belt

    Cubo de Sangre
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    Hang in there man.
     
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  9. PommyBen Wistfull With A Fist-Full

    PommyBen
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    So she's ill lost half her skull, is totally fucked and needs probably the most support she's will ever need in her life .. and you have fucked her off? Go and see her man .. leave the ego at the door when you walk in and be strong for her, show her you are strong.
     
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  10. PommyBen Wistfull With A Fist-Full

    PommyBen
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    To add.. I did the same thing 20 years ago, my gran was fucked with a stroke and I didn't go in to see her on her death bed because I felt I didn't want to see her 'like That' it's a copout... and I have regretted it ever since, probably the worst thing I have ever regretted.. I wasn't a man and I didn't own what I was doing. It was pathetic and I will never put my own feelings over another person's grief again ..
     
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  11. horc00 Blue Belt

    horc00
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    I'm sorry to hear that. Be there for her. Show her your support.
     
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  12. genecop Black Belt

    genecop
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    Wow, so sorry to hear this....no words can help, heart breaking...
     
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  13. Piece of Sheet Wild Card

    Piece of Sheet
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    If you truly loved her you would be there for her as much as she needs which is a lot.

    Imagine how she feels. She needs you more than anyone else in the world.

    It’s very hard for you as well so don’t think I’m being insensitive but the truth is if you’re in love with her you will forget your needs and focus on hers.

    If you don’t feel this way then you were never in love. True love that is.

    Best of luck TS. I’m sorry this happened to the both of you.
     
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  14. Tuf_guy Silver Belt

    Tuf_guy
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    Sorry man. Take care of yourself while you're dealing with this.
     
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  15. Katsumi Yamada blood belt

    Katsumi Yamada
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    So so sorry to hear about that man.

    You said she had brain damage but whats her condition like now?
    Conscious? Responsive? Talking?

    All the best for her to recover and like others have said I hope you will be able to give your support to her.
     
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  16. Robocok Purple Belt

    Robocok
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    She's unconscious. Last night a few nurses told us that she's in critical condition and was probably going to die in the next 12-24 hours. They claim that before the operation that her brain was swelling and that they were afraid that there would be hemorrhaging. During the operation, it did hemorrhage and she sustained brain damage.

    One of the nurses recommended that if she stops breathing or her heart stops to let her pass. He claimed that it would be better to let her pass than to try to perform cpr and use the defibrillator. Her mom was notified by her friend on the phone and agreed to this. She asked that her ashes be sent to her if she passed.

    I saw her this afternoon and she's still alive but completely unresponsive. The nurse told me her pupils are blown out which means that she suffered significant brain trauma. She said that in the unlikely event she woke up she would probably not be aware of us.

    She still has a gag reflex which means she's not completely brain dead but whether she will live or not is uncertain.
     
    #16
    Last edited: May 17, 2018
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  17. neverwas bondage belt

    neverwas
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    all i can add to this is,spend as much time with her as you can if she means that much to you.
     
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  18. Robocok Purple Belt

    Robocok
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    She's not there right now, only her body. I will still see her every day but I can do nothing to help her or make her feel anything.
     
    #18
  19. Reyesnuthugr belt

    Reyesnuthugr
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    That's really rough. I hope you can find peace somehow
     
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  20. CodeBreaker Diamond Belt

    CodeBreaker
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    Oh shit. i feel sorry bro.

    You really need to talk to people, like your friends or some therapist.
    This is going to be tough
     
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