Lost a close friend to suicide recently, have a hard time coping.

Sorry for your loss man. Wish there was something I could say to help but I have 0 experience with this.
 
OvaryHugger said:
This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.
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So, some of my best friends have come and gone, but not because of the death. It was just due to us evolving differently. I did, however, lose my father many years ago. It is a harsh reality to know you will never talk to that person again in this lifetime.

You will adapt to the loss overtime, but the void will probably never feel completely filled. You will have moments where you think about that person from time to time.
 
Satanical Eve said:
I'm slowly getting over it but I have these moments where I'll suddenly be thrust into a state of disbelief and sadness.
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Dude I'm so sorry for you and I'm sorry for them. None of you deserve this crap man. If you're going through this in a year it must overwhelming .


I specifically quoted this portion because this is my biggest problem. I try to smile or laugh at something and i start just crying /sobbing midway through it. I must seem like a lunatic, damn. It just keeps hitting me and kicking my ass. I never cried much before, i thought i was immune to feeling easily moved but i guess one wouldn't know until they experience real tragedy.
 
I'm sorry to hear bro. I've been suicidal before and what always stopped me was the thought of what it'd do to my mum and dad. People say it's a selfish decision but in my experience, in that moment you're thinking of nothing but the people closest to you and trying to justify what you're about to do to them. Your friend sounds like the kind of dude who didn't want to be a burden on anyone so I'm sure he went through the same. Must have been in a terrible place to have finally gone through with it.
 
His pain in this world is no more, there is something to be said for that.

May fond memories grant you peace. Through them, he is with you.

 
OvaryHugger said:
This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.
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Sorry for your loss, brother.
 
OvaryHugger said:
This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.
Click to expand...
First off, sorry about your loss. It’s a tough thing to go through. I lost one of my best friends a couple years ago. Circumstances were different as he died in a wreck, but I’m sure some of the same feelings apply. It’s not easy to cope with the loss, but in time the sadness will turn into memories of better times. When Matt first died my thought of him were just thoughts of him being dead, I kept imagining the scenario, how and why it happened and just thinking about how I couldn’t believe it. Now when he crosses my mind it’s usually a memory of a good time, or I see something and think damn Matt would think that’s badass. It’s always going to hurt some, but hopefully in time your feelings will shift toward a more positive, humorous way of remembering your friend.
 
OvaryHugger said:
This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.
Click to expand...


That's tragic bro, my condolences. Mental demons are truly the worst of the worst. What doesn't help is, our society, while progressing, hasn't evolved well enough for people admit it, for others to see it, respect it, and work to do something about it. I think largely because most everyone has enough problems they are trying to deal with.

I've known a couple of close people who have lost siblings due to suicide. It's horrendous, but time does help. My only advice is to give it time, and pay it forward, help yourself and the others around you.
 
OvaryHugger said:
Dude I'm so sorry for you and I'm sorry for them. None of you deserve this crap man. If you're going through this in a year it must overwhelming .


I specifically quoted this portion because this is my biggest problem. I try to smile or laugh at something and i start just crying /sobbing midway through it. I must seem like a lunatic, damn. It just keeps hitting me and kicking my ass. I never cried much before, i thought i was immune to feeling easily moved but i guess one wouldn't know until they experience real tragedy.
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I've dealt with suicide before both with myself and with others. The only difference is that this time it was three people within a span of a year, a year that isn't even over yet. This may be a broken record but time heals or at least lessens the pain. His memory should not be centered around his suicide but around all the good he did and all the wonderful times you both had together. Cherish those happy memories of you both. Also if its hard for you to be able to cope with it may I suggest you try your hand at counseling or a therapist to get you through this really horrible time your life. I myself used to go to a therapist a few years ago and just being able to talk to someone about all the horrible and downright depressing things that happened in my life truly helped. I mean right now right here just talking to you is helping me to cope with what happened I can safely say things will get better granted it won't happen over night but it'll happen. It just takes its time.

Also don't be afraid to cry, let it out, don't hold it in. I've noticed in the past when I'm done crying I feel better. Just this thread alone and seeing what you wrote and me writing my response sent a flood of emotion which ended up with my crying for a good while which in the end I felt bit better.
 
So very sorry to hear if your loss and of your friend's suffering, @OvaryHugger .

My aunt chose not to get treatment for cancer that they, by all accounts, found in time. My college roommate died in a single car accident and there's always been a sliver if doubt as to whether he fell asleep at the wheel, had a seizure (history, medicated, with stress as a trigger) or if his grind just got to him. Other than that, I've been lucky in that nobody close to me has gone out that way. Working in emergency services, I've seen numerous successful and failed attempts.

I know you're hurting right now but your friend gave you one final gift, a lesson: get help. We all could use a little help sometimes and it could mean the difference between righting the ship and being the grenade. Even if it's a lesson you already have in your notebook, it's a reminder to spread that news when and where you can.

Wishing you peace and comfort at this time.
 
Guys, thank you. All of you. I've read many of the posts here a few times over and i can say it has helped a lot.
 
I've lost three friends to suicide over the years. I have also had suicidal thoughts myself.(I'm actually without a place to live and I ruined my career a few years back.) The will to live is our strongest instinct, and when the darkness overrides it, it is a major headtrip. As far as losing someone you love to suicide, all I can tell you, is that time will ease the pain. Allow yourself to cry when you can. I used to go to a local cemetery and cry, the cops and security would nod when they drove by. I didn't even know who's grave I would be by, but I'd say a little prayer in my own way. I've lost a lot of people in my 40 plus years, including a loved one to a serial killer when I was young. Life doesn't make sense sometimes, and neither does death, but as cliché as it sounds it's all about love. I get the sense that you have people who love you, embrace them! Thank you for your thread, it helped me feel less alone. For what it's worth.
 
I lost one of best friends on Sept, 11th 2001. He was a Cop and died in the second tower. I hurt for a while. Never goes away completely but time does heal all wounds. Good luck
 
Zer said:
I'm sorry to hear bro. I've been suicidal before and what always stopped me was the thought of what it'd do to my mum and dad. People say it's a selfish decision but in my experience, in that moment you're thinking of nothing but the people closest to you and trying to justify what you're about to do to them. Your friend sounds like the kind of dude who didn't want to be a burden on anyone so I'm sure he went through the same. Must have been in a terrible place to have finally gone through with it.
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All of this, and just know that you're not alone, we're always here for you sherbro. The pain of losing your friend won't ever really go away but you learn that it's just part of life, death. I'll say a prayer for you and his family.
 
I'm sorry for you loss.
That type of hurt doesn't go away. You'll come to terms with it eventually, but losing a great friend is like losing a brother.

I lost my best friend to a drug overdose, I still can't believe he's gone and it's been 3 years. It makes me sick still, I miss him.
 
Condolence to you.

Life can be a real steel-toed kick in the taint sometimes.
 
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