Lost a close friend to suicide recently, have a hard time coping.

[God_Emperor_Of_Mankind]

This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

How long ago bud? The sadness wanes consistently over time, it's always there but it doesn't stab you in the heart anymore.

It doesn't take long before things are manageable on a day to day basis, but there will be moments where it rushes back full force.

Over time those moments become less and less frequent, and the force of emotions lessens as well.

After a year it was still sad but it was an acceptable sadness, emotions I could deal with. That's me, not you, everyone is different.

If you're really struggling, see a professional, they can help a lot.

 

[Katsumi Yamada]

This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.

Damn that's tragic bro, sounds like he was a great guy and very selfless to a fault...even though he was going through rough times he didn't want to bother anyone about it.

Dont really know what to say apart from I hope you start to feel better mate, I'm sure your buddy wouldn't want you to feel bummed out forever. And would want you to learn from the mistakes he made in his life.

I'm fortunate in that I haven't lost anyone that close to me via suicide, not since my friend hung himself when we were 14, that sucked but you know....we were kids so just kind of moved on.

 

[BudKing8806]

Sorry to hear about your buddy. There is nothing you could have done without knowing what he was going through. It is hard but the pain will subside as time goes on. Just try to remember the good times the both of you shared.

 

[DC23]

Been through the same but without any reason or hint of a reason behind it at all. A guy that had the world at his feet. The money. The girl(s). The job. The car. The friends. The family. The sooner you tell / come to the realisation that you'll never really know why they did it, the better. Don't let the millions of reasons run through your head forever.

 

[Chesten_Hesten]

This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.

Sorry man.


Met Ben Bostrom a couple times.

Thread reminds me of Dave Mirra's demons




Inner Demons, who knew

 

[TeTe]

I haven't lost a friend this way before, so I don't have much advice, but I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Skulli]

get a Dog.

All will be better, they are 4 paws of angelic beings.

 

[neverwas]

had to cut a friend of mine down some years back. it always hurts,sometimes i sit here and think about what i should have done or if id been more sensitive to what was going on,and blame myself more than i should. it never not hurts,you just learn to deal with it.

 

[Cake4Breakfast]

It is a really sad thing, and he was obviously really suffering, and didn't know how to cope, and didn't know how to ask for help to allow the people who cared about him to help lighten his load. And remember, depression can lead to very irrational thinking (one of the golden standard treatments for depression works to change irrational thinking into rational thinking) and irrational thinking can lead to irrational behavior. It is really a tragedy, and it is good that you are feeling the feelings and are talking about it. That is going to help you get past this darkest point. My advice would be to focus on your sadness and to let yourself mourn instead of trying to take some level of responsibility for what you could have done, because that type of thinking is irrational, is unfair to yourself, and is an attempt to undo the past, which sadly cannot be done.

 

[Protectandserve]

It is a horrible thing. I had a buddy I went to Intel school with commit suicide about 2 years ago. None of us knew he was struggling.

My advice, don't blame yourself. Live your life to the fullest, for both you and your buddy. Find a good, healthy way to remember him when you get those feels and feel down.

 

[Satanical Eve]

This was the closest friend of mine I've had. He and I grew up together, went to kindergarten, school, etc. I was at work when I got a call from one of his family members and I was just crying almost immediately, I just left work broken with grief.

He never let anyone know his problems other than his close family members. He had both financial and medical problems which made him take his own life.

I've spoken to him several times over the past year(we live in different cities) and he never let on about his issues. Which is one of the things that was heartbreaking, he suffered a lot to have taken his own life but didn't much want to have others pitying him or feeling sorry for him I suppose. He was a great friend, someone who would just drop everything if I ever needed help but it just destroys me that I couldn't much do the same. I just keep tearing and choking up from time to time and feel like I have this really dark mood that just won't clear away.

I don't usually make many threads but I don't have many people I know in real life that can understand what I'm going through.

Anyone else know people like this? Anyone suffered the loss of a really great friend, how long did you take to get over it.

This year has been extremely trying for me. I lost my uncle, two very close friends Will and Alex to suicide this year. My uncle shot himself in the chest behind his house and both Will and Alex both intentionally overdosed. I'm slowly getting over it but I have these moments where I'll suddenly be thrust into a state of disbelief and sadness. It has happened at work and I have a hard time explaining it to others plus I have this fear it'll come on when I'm dealing with a client.

I don't know if you have ever personally dealt with the feelings of being suicidal but I can tell you don't destroy yourself over it. I hung myself years back and I can tell you no amount of help would have stopped me from doing what I did. I was dead set on shuffling off this mortal coil.

Over coming the loss of your friend is going to take time, I'm still in the process right now like I said earlier in dealing with the fall out from what happened this year. It does get easier as time goes on and I'll this say don't fight the grief. In the past I did do that and it only led to me being even more of an emotional wreck and led to my relapsing. Once I gave in to it I was able to fully let my emotions out and deal with what had happened.

If you need to talk you can shoot me a private message any time so we can talk.

Damn now I'm crying. I'm truly sorry for the loss of your friend, I really am. Its fucking hard. Its really fucking hard to deal with what has transpired for both of us.

 

[45ACP]

I'm very sorry for your loss TS. Only thing that will help is time. Try not to overanalyse and allow yourself time to grieve.

I lost a close friend to suicide 5-6 years ago and I struggled so badly with the idea that there might have been something I could've done if only I'd noticed the warning signs that it eventually led to me taking a 3 month training class and getting certified to answer the national suicide prevention hotline, which I did for a little while.

I'm not trying to pat myself on the back by saying this. My point is that tragedy can be used for good and finding a positive outlet for your grief may help to assuage some of it.

Hope you start feeling better soon buddy.

 

[God_Emperor_Of_Mankind]

How long ago bud?

It happened 3 days ago, i took leave the last 2 days cause i just couldn't think about anything else.
Everything else just seemed trivial . Can't really concentrate on much either.

I wish he had a better life. He even left the door to his room open and his mom was visiting later and she was the one who found him. I guess he didn't want to be left that way long.

when i took in the whole thing, his suffering, his family's, it's very hard to digest. I keep crying often and randomly. It's hard to understand how difficult it must been for him and what a state of mind he must have had to do what he did.

 

[minute bull]

Hey, it's really good that you reached out during this time. It's important to come together when you're feeling out of sorts. Is there anyone you can spend some quality face-time with? You may not feel better right away, but it's a boon to not be alone. Even if there's no one you feel especially close to, go out and interact with some folks. You can be sad still, but on behalf of your friend you also need to live your life as best you can.

 

[SoberAwakening]

It's ok to not be ok for awhile. Suicide is, in my opinion, one of the toughest things to cope with.

Natural death, I understand to a certain degree. Tragic accidents are really tough to deal with, but I get over it. Suicide though is one thing I can't wrap my head around, especially when it's someone I know.

 

[freaky]

Suicide is a real problem.

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

It happened 3 days ago, i took leave the last 2 days cause i just couldn't think about anything else.
Everything else just seemed trivial . Can't really concentrate on much either.

I wish he had a better life. He even left the door to his room open and his mom was visiting later and she was the one who found him. I guess he didn't want to be left that way long.

when i took in the whole thing, his suffering, his family's, it's very hard to digest. I keep crying often and randomly. It's hard to understand how difficult it must been for him and what a state of mind he must have had to do what he did.

3 days. It's definitely still intense. Time will make things easier.

Realize you'll likely never understand his state of mind. Crying often and randomly is normal.

 

[God_Emperor_Of_Mankind]

had to cut a friend of mine down

Dude, i don't think i could ever erase that memory from my head if i had to do that. It's very sad. Unfortunate that you went through that.

 

[neverwas]

Dude, i don't think i could ever erase that memory from my head if i had to do that. It's very sad. Unfortunate that you went through that.

thats the thing,you don't ever forget it. certain things bring it into sharp focus,and i'll never eat chilli with rice again.