Life is a Distraction

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Pugilistic, Oct 11, 2018 at 7:48 PM.

  1. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    Like many in this forum, I have battled depression for a big part of my life. And except for a few major setbacks, it's a battle I have been mostly winning for the past several years. In my everyday life, moment to moment, I feel great. I feel excited to do things and I try to feel the moments. I expose myself to positive stimuli and I don't let negative experiences bring me down. I am always trying to do new things and be active. To other people, I look like I'm really living my life.

    Yet, there is always this nagging sense in the back of my mind that one day, depression will catch back up to me. It'll be more accurate to say my fight with depression is a race. It's a race I am currently winning with depression lagging behind, but I worry that one day I will tire out and it will overtake me.

    All of the things I do seem like a distraction. I'm distracting myself from the ultimate truth that life is pointless. I cannot find a logical reason to be alive. But I'm giving myself excuses to live by taking on projects or planning trips. If I were to find out tomorrow that I have a fatal disease, I'm not sure if I'd feel that sad about it. I'm going to die anyway so whatever. I guess in that same sense, I'm not killing myself because there is no point in that as well. And as a living organism, I am programmed to want to survive.

    Since I am currently alive, I might as well enjoy it as much as I can. I am designing my life around enjoyment with the caveat that I won't fall into destructive hedonism because I don't get enjoyment out of that. I see people who don't seem to be enjoying their lives at all; they're stuck at a boring job they hate and don't really do anything else...for what? I don't get it.

    I think I need to ultimately start my own business or something to give me another distraction. I wonder if anybody else feels the same way.

    TLDR
    Is life just a distraction until we die?
     
  2. loyalyolayal

    loyalyolayal Gold Belt

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    Depends on how low you could set your standards, morality and shame to live the life that you want.
     
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  3. astrozician

    astrozician Orion's Belt

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    You're quoting Ecclesiastes.... everything is Vanity.... everything is Meaningless.
     
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  4. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    I agree with a lot of what you say, as I can relate to an extent as well.

    I always see the defeat in people's eyes, something happened somewhere in their life time that killed their drive to live and even though they are alive, they are not really living life.

    You can't let set backs define who you are, I've lost many battles in my life, but I'm the creator of my own destiny therefore my set backs are ALWAYS my biggest comebacks.

    The way I look at the bad things in life is this "how can I learn from this experience?" "how can I grow from this?" I no longer feel sorry for my defeats, instead I've adopted a winner attitude, that's the attitude everyone should strive for.
     
  5. Bay Area

    Bay Area Silver Belt

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    You can't outrun depression. You can keep running, but when it catches you... and it will, its going to be devastating. You need to sit quietly somewhere and face it. You are basically a ticking time bomb. I knew a girl like that. She was always laughing and smiling and cheerful and a busy body. Needless to say, everyone was shocked and in disbelief when she did the unthinkable. No one saw it coming. She was basically swinging back and forth between emotional extremes: in public, bubbly and full of life...high energy etc. In private... down in the dumps, no energy, weeping etc. No one can maintain that for long
     
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  6. sniper

    sniper Red Belt

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    Always keep depression in the front of your mind. That way it cant creep up on you.

    I agree about life being a distraction. Everything is a distraction. I've been working on cutting all the excess out of my life. With more shit comes more problems. Be it physical, mental, whatever. Less is more, for me.
     
  7. dormammu

    dormammu Green Belt

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    Life sucks and then we die
     
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  8. Phr3121

    Phr3121 Black Belt Platinum Member

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    Deep philosophical thread my friend, but to answer your question, no, life is not a distraction -- in my opinion. A distraction is like looking at a beautiful woman -- nice breasts, ass, legs, or body. I too have had to deal with depression and anxiety and can relate to some of the things you wrote about:

    . Life is not pointless, it is a gift. How many people are born with disabilities. How many people are fighting cancer and other diseases to stay alive. How many are dying of hunger. How many are in pain. How many people would love to trade places with you?

    . If you can't find a logical reason to be alive, I think you have some serious problems. I just mentioned a few above. So, 'theoretically' (moderator note), you decide to end your life. Than what? How does that change things? Will things get better? We are all going to find that out sooner or later. So, I choose to live. In choosing to live, I choose to be happy and do good things for myself and others. I don't think anyone would choose life to live in pain or be unhappy. I'm ready to go when the time comes. I've done most everything I wanted to do in this life. I am not afraid of death. I'm curious to see what is on the others side when the time comes.

    . I don't know if you are a religious person and believes in God. I do, for many reasons. Either way, you seem to have some sort of mental disorder. We all feel depressed one time or another, but having to fight it and having it take over your life if definitely a 'red' flag.

    . I don't think life should be lived for the sole purpose of enjoyment. Enjoyment and happiness are temporary, it comes and goes. That is how things work in this world, at least for most 'normal' people. Why don't you try volunteering in helping people or animals? Animals have been a blessing for me. Better than any medication (drug) or therapy I've tried. Good luck...
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018 at 8:42 PM
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  9. SmilinDesperado

    SmilinDesperado Silver Belt

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    Life is what you make it.
    If you want a meaningful life, then live one
     
  10. Simian Raticus

    Simian Raticus GOAT in the North

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    I guess you can look at it that way.

    After all, no matter what you do in life we all end up rotting in the dirt eventually.

    But it can be a wonderful distraction that is worth prolonging if you choose to make it so.

    And even in the shitty times, I look at it like death is gonna find you some day and sooner than you think so you may as well ride it out and see what happens.
     
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  11. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    Nah I don't have mood swings either in private or public. I think I do pretty good with facing my feelings and really "feeling" them if I feel down. I actually don't feel down much at all which is why I say I'm winning the race against depression. But I need something extra to keep me going.

    My emotions are the opposite of extreme, which I am not sure is a problem. I find myself becoming more of a thrill seeker and being more interested in extreme sports, which is something I never thought I would be into. I went skydiving hoping it'd make me really nervous or scared before the jump and I was like, "cool." Cool experience for sure but not the emotional high I expected it be. I did tear up when I saw the beauty of the Sierra mountains though and I was glad I could feel that.

    None of those things you listed are "logical." I enjoy being around good people and helping others. I love animals. It's enjoyment. It's an emotional drive, not a logical one. And in my opinion that's what it is. You keep doing the things you enjoy until you die.
     
  12. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    This makes me think about highly accomplished people, or who we as a society considered "accomplished," and wonder what is the point of doing any of that for them? Anywho, I think I will try to start my own business or something, not to be rich or to have a business empire, but because it's something to do. And I get so fucking bored working a regular job for someone else.

    It's pretty much how I look at it. I don't think I'll ever resort to suicide because I know I don't need to if death was the objective.
     
  13. Blue_Lou

    Blue_Lou Orange Belt

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    Challenge yourself in a visceral way.

    Take a cold shower, and then take note how you feel before and immediately after
     
  14. Sansnom

    Sansnom Red Belt

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    You say that life is good yet you continue worrying that "depression" is going to come back?

    It seems that everybody has "depression" nowadays.

    "I feel sad, I don't feel like doing anything, I must have depression...."

    I bet that 90% of the people who claim they suffer from depression are just a bunch of lazy sissies.

    Depression is a mental illness. Something about the chemicals in the brain not working right. Yet it seems half the population has "depression" nowadays.

    Grow some balls
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018 at 8:59 PM
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  15. Jack Reacheround

    Jack Reacheround Never Go Black

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    You’re right that, in the scheme of the whole universe, life is pointless. But that doesn’t mean you can’t to enjoy it. Just keep doing shit you like. Sure, you have to work a job and do other shit you don’t like so that you can actually do the things you do like. But just think of it like a relationship. You don’t actually enjoy going to see Sex and the City with your girl. But you sure do enjoy fucking the shit out of her.
     
  16. Smokes

    Smokes Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    I am reading up on Pluto now and I dont understand nothing he talking bout. He seem to just be talking. Socorites die for what he belived in.
     
  17. breadfighter

    breadfighter Toiling in underground sugar caves

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    Recently as i've gotten older i've been beginning to wonder about the same things you are in regards to life. Like I catch myself thinking about it throughout the day. In my early 20s I just wanted to travel and experience things for myself. The more I started thinking about it, the more I realized how empty I'd still feel even after all those experiences and seeing all that cool shit.

    If you want my humble opinion. The point of living is not to keep doing things YOU enjoy. It's about sacrificing yourself for a cause. I don't mean like pagan blood sacrifice, but to give whats left of your clock every day to something or somebody else and help fulfill their lives. Whether that's volunteering like a poster mentioned, coaching, or having a kid. This is considering you're not already past the point of no return brain chemistry/depression wise.

    I feel a sense of accomplishment when I work pads and teach people boxing that want to learn. I don't ask for pay and I don't time or structure the sessions. My friends will wonder why I would spend all that time and basically do it for free, but I honest to god don't mind spending an hour of two of my time to help enrich some else's life. In a way the people i'm training/helping are actually doing me the favor.

    It's gratifying deep down soul-wise to be able to give selflessly and not expect anything back. I feel like it's penance for all the bad shit on my conscience. Maybe you should try that.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018 at 9:08 PM
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  18. Phr3121

    Phr3121 Black Belt Platinum Member

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    Well, you tell me what your definition of logic is:
    . Reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity.
    . Something that forces a decision apart from or in opposition to reason.
    . Logic is a method of reasoning that involves a series of statements, each of which must be true if the statement before it is true.
    . A particular kind of logic is the way of thinking and reasoning about things that is characteristic of a particular type of person or particular field of activity.
    . The science of correct reasoning; science which describes relationships among propositions in terms of implication, contradiction, contrariety, conversion, etc.
    . The branch of philosophy concerned with analyzing the patterns of reasoning by which a conclusion is properly drawn from a set of premises.

    I think I followed the definition. Unless you are referring to reason.

    Also, for most people, life revolves around family and work (career). Well, I've done that? Now what? Hence the concept of finding purpose in life through the things you do that will make you happy most of the time.

    What if you can't do the things you enjoy doing? You can't be happy 100% of the time, than what? How do you deal with unhappiness? You have to know and experience both to know the difference. Have you experienced pain and suffering? How did that feel? How can you not achieve logic and reasoning from that?
     
  19. KoreanZawmbie

    KoreanZawmbie Black Belt

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    Life is really what you make of it. You think life is pointless, but someone else might accept life for what it is, and thats to live it day by day. Who has the right perspective here, neither one of you have it right.

    Theres a big difference between assuming something and experiencing it. Think about it.
     
  20. NAKMUAY18

    NAKMUAY18 Brown Belt

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    Absolutely life is pointless, in 200 years everybody you’ve ever known, their children, and half of their grandchildren will be dead. Nothing you have done will be anything more than a pointless footnote in a book that nobody ever reads. That’s why you need so stop thinking about what other people accomplish or achieve, that’s all relative to other people, and other people are meaningless just like us.
    Find what you love to do, and do that. You can’t do it all day long, you have to earn it with work, but don’t waste time. Your time is finite and it’s all you have.
    3 years ago I was working a job I hated, i’d go it BJJ in the evenings or bang something from tinder. That was pretty much it. I decided that was not I wanted. I started making things and got into wood working. I changed my job, found my wife, bought a small cabin in the woods. I build furniture, knives, keepsake boxes, I’ve framed buildings on my property, I fish, kayak, and we just had a baby.
    All of it is pointless, but I’m happy with my pointlessness. You need happiness not meaning, and the only way to get it is to get off your ass and look for it. Sure I think about the inevitable crushing nothingness of death sometimes, but mostly I’m zen as fuck
     

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