Let's make puns

[Hotora86]

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

 

[Hotora86]

Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.

 

[Katsumi Yamada]

True story:

I was getting a massage last night.

I was laying on my front, and then after massaging my back she pulled down my underwear to reveal my buttcheeks.

She then took a piece of tissue paper and put it between my buttcheeks.

I said "what the hell are u doing?"

To which she replied "this is a deep tissue massage"

 

[oscerthegrouch]

he who will pick a pun, will pick a pocket

 

[Hotora86]

True story:

I was getting a massage last night.

I was laying on my front, and then after massaging my back she pulled down my underwear to reveal my buttcheeks.

She then took a piece of tissue paper and put it between my buttcheeks.

I said "what the hell are u doing?"

To which she replied "this is a deep tissue massage"

Not sure if

or

(depends on how hot she was and what you did after)

If hot then pics or GTFO.

 

[King Pun**]

haha this thread great

 

[Andy Capp]

Just noticed this thread. If you know a mod, you could have them merge my just-created thread with this.
http://forums.sherdog.com/threads/bro-do-you-even-foo.3764519/#post-141250021

 

[Andy Capp]

Kudos for actually reading them all... looking back, I completely unloaded on your thread, overkill if I ever saw one... I just love puns so much and I know so many... I saw the thread title and thought "this is my Mekka" and just went full postwhore.

Mekka? Speaking of travel, he who goes through an airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.

 

[Andy Capp]

I'm a light eater - as soon as it’s light, I start eating.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food. I eat it.

 

[I Am Legion]

I’m no masterbation expert, but I hold my own.

 

[Andy Capp]

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger...

And then it hit me.

 

[Katsumi Yamada]

If hot then pics or GTFO.

Forgot to mention that it was at home and it was my wife.

I don't think a professional masseuse would make that kind of stupid pun lol

 

[Hotora86]

Forgot to mention that it was at home and it was my wife.

I don't think a professional masseuse would make that kind of stupid pun lol

If wife is hot then pics or GTFO.

 

[oscerthegrouch]

If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.

 

[oscerthegrouch]

"Atheism is a non-prophet institution" - George Carlin

 

[minute bull]

 

[Hotora86]

You're not a true fan unless you hang from the ceiling and spin around in circles, providing cool air for everyone around you.

 

[Uptown Swinger]

"A villain without remorse, who’s willing to out your boss
Forever and take all the cheddar like child support"

"I’ll appear in your dreams, like Freddie do, no kidding you
Even if I stuttered I would still sh-sh-sh-shit on you"

"Rollin' ganja up in Bible papers, see how high the lye can take us
Through the eyes of Christ, John, Elijah, Jacob"

"Candlelight dinners, havin' a toast with the most glamorous bitches
My road to riches was no Christmas - Now we blessed with gold Lazaruses
So expensive my whole family's religious"

 

[Hotora86]

- Why is the plate not sleeping?
- Because it's up late.

(just made this up, does it need work?)

 

[KeiranMc]

@Hotora86 is the fucking man lol
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