Let's make puns

[Hotora86]

- How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
- Ten-tickles

 

[Hotora86]

Today (19th Sept) is Talk Like A Pirate Day!

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

I thought the title said buns

 

[Hotora86]

I thought the title said buns

 

[Hotora86]

Van Damme, Stallone and Schwarzenegger are invited to a costume party. They decide to dress up as famous composers.
Van Damme says: "I want to be Mozart."
Stallone says: "I want to be Vivaldi."
Schwarzenegger says: "OK, then... I'll be Bach!"

 

[TheLinguist]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Spoiler

Then it hit me.

Why is this legend still banned?

 

[Cpt Migraine]

Wow! Wierd super power but still!

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

I thought the title said buns

LOL

 

[SalvadorAllende]

A really, really bad one:



There was this bear in the jungle, about to smoke a joint while a rabbit comes and says:
- Hey bear, drugs are bad.. dont do that! Come and jog with me, lets do excercise, be healthy, etc.

The bear and the rabbit start jogging together. Then they find a deer about to inject some drugs in his leg. Rabbit goes again:
- Deer! Don´t do that. That is bad for you.. join us in the healthy life. Come and jog with us, dont do drugs!

The 3 start running together when they come across a lion, who is about to sniff a huge line of coke. Rabbit, again goes:
- Hey lion, what the hell are you doing? Coke is bad.. dont d... oughh

The lion takes the little rabbit head off.
Horrified, the bear and the deer ask "what the hell dude?". The lion answers:
- Fucking rabbit. Everytime he is on LSD start to breaking my balls.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

What is a guitar player doing in your front door?
Delivering a pizza

 

[Cantona7]

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I’ve never paid £100 to have a lentil in my mouth...

 

[Hotora86]

What is a guitar player doing in your front door?
Delivering a pizza

I don't get it.

 

[Hotora86]

- Why did the Mushroom get invited to all the parties?
- Because he's a fungi!

 

[Clippy]

- Why did the Mushroom get invited to all the parties?
- Because he's a fungi!

@Medulla Omoplata

lol at getting invited to parties

 

[Hotora86]

@Medulla Omoplata

lol at getting invited to parties

How about the communist party?
Looks like fun.

 

[Clippy]

How about the communist party?
Looks like fun.

That does look like fun

 

[SalvadorAllende]

I don't get it.

Guitarist cant make a living off music.

Stole it from here:

Spoiler

Some others (from the same guy):
- What do you say when you see a beautiful girl on the arm of a guitar player?
Nice tattoo

- How can a guitar player earn 1 million dollars?
Start with 2 millions and try to make a living playing guitar.

- How do you get a guitar player out of your porch?
Pay for your pizza

- Whats the difference between a couch and a guitar player?
The couch can support a family.

- How do you know there is a lead singer on the front door?
They dont have idea what the key is and they dont know when to come in.

- What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless

 

[Hotora86]

Guitarist cant make a living off music.

Stole it from here:

Spoiler

Some others (from the same guy):
- What do you say when you see a beautiful girl on the arm of a guitar player?
Nice tattoo

- How can a guitar player earn 1 million dollars?
Start with 2 millions and try to make a living playing guitar.

- How do you get a guitar player out of your porch?
Pay for your pizza

- Whats the difference between a couch and a guitar player?
The couch can support a family.

- How do you know there is a lead singer on the front door?
They dont have idea what the key is and they dont know when to come in.

- What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless

Savage!
Now that I think of it, I know a bunch of pretty decent guitar players but neither makes any $$ offa that.

 

[Vitor CroCop]

Let's not and say we did

 

[Hotora86]

Let's not and say we did

Too late for that.