Last Question and Update. Dealing with a toxic family member

[greenocelot]

As for your instructor that won't give you the black belt you feel you have earned...when you go to shake his hand, hit the flying armbar and go Paul Harris on his ass.

You are funny. My friends at other academies tell me that I am loyal to a fault. But I honestly don't care anymore, since I'll be. My Jiu-Jitsu friends say that I am the "nicest person in the world", I know that this is not true though.

It is so funny. He never compete at any point as a higher belt. He says all modern Jiu-Jitsu is "stupid". He literally gives belts to people who never train, people who are his work bosses or close friends. He puts down people in class and makes biggoted comments. I actually feel really sorry for him. Despite him, everyone in the school is super nice. He actually did this to my Jiu-Jitsu friends that he does not like, like from friend Danny and Peter. I am not much but this scene pretty much sums it up, I am gone

 

[greenocelot]

Greetings, It sounds like life is about to become a great adventure. I left a life behind once, and told nobody that I was about to up and leave, but my situation was much more extreme than yours own, and I would in any other scenario have preferred to make my exit addressing everyone with eye contact, words exchanged, and hopefully handshakes and embraces. It doesn't have to be a big production, but it would be wise to leave those closest to you with the opportunity to demonstrate their parting expressions to you, and you the same. It can be easier for them to express themselves better knowing you will be gone and that this is the only chance they have to get things right. Many people feel the need to rise to the occasion to resolve tensions in times like these. Perhaps as an economist you may best understand it as social/political currency that will have a return on investment no matter if the social market is hot or cold. Capitalize.

That is a great outlook. I honestly don't care what she thinks of me anymore, I don't see her as anything to me anymore, she is inconsequential to me. Not in a mean way, but I honestly don't want to see her anymore, she makes me feel bad about myself with what she says. Like you said, I'll be off on great adventures, and this will all feel so far away very soon, and inconsequential. And, I'll do like you said, say good bye to my dad. I am sorry you had problems, you seem like an honestly nice and wise person.

 

[spin]

Hi Spin, thanks for your response. I do not think you read the caveat in my post, i.e. I mentioned to her the absolute nicest things she has said to me.

But I do have an answer for your question. Please search Youtube for AbroadInJapan and search for and watch any of the hate comment videos, wait for the part of the videos where Natsuki speaks, he has the answer for you. Just as a hint, the phrase he says starts with the word "go" or to save you some time search Google for "1 minute Natsuki".

Your caveat changes nothing, and the fact that you think it justifies you only further shows my point that all you think about your goddamn self.

The rest of your response to just digs the hole deeper.

But keep living life blaming everything on other, especially family, that always works out great.

 

[mushishi]

Hi sir.
I am leaving to teach Economics at an international school in China within a few weeks. Being so, should I just go, not tell anyone, and just not look back? Or should I just act nice, say my good byes to dad and stepmother, and then not look back?

Unrelated, I am the only one in the family that was not alienated by my stepmother, until now. The sad thing is that I actually stood up for my dad and stepmother's marriage. But although I don't care anymore, my dad has never stood up for me. If my mom was still alive, she'd stand up for anyone. Now I stopped trying to see my stepmother as family and just a person who is not nice, for my own mental health

Man, tell your dad and say goodbye to him. It'll crush him if you just go N*Sync on him.



Tell her goodbye and wish her well, that she will be happy with your dad. Don't let her crappy behavior change you from being a decent person.

 

[greenocelot]

Man, tell your dad and say goodbye to him. It'll crush him if you just go N*Sync on him.



Tell her goodbye and wish her well, that she will be happy with your dad. Don't let her crappy behavior change you from being a decent person.

That is very insightful, thank you for your advice.

 

[greenocelot]

Your caveat changes nothing, and the fact that you think it justifies you only further shows my point that all you think about your goddamn self.

The rest of your response to just digs the hole deeper.

But keep living life blaming everything on other, especially family, that always works out great.

Your opinion is inconsequential to me.

I am not the best person, or even not that much, but I teach Jiu-Jitsu to Judo people for free, I stand up for my co-workers at work, I took care of my mom when she was dying from cancer. And I am not much, but I graduated with a 3.72 GPA and a degree in economics, have studied up to real analysis on my own, tied with a black belt and former Pan Am and World Champion last tournament. It is not much and not worth mentioning. Most of all I do not need you acceptance or respect. I am confident enough in myself.

You must have a sad life to bully random people. In the words of Natsuki, well you know.

 

[spin]

Your opinion is inconsequential to me.

I am not the best person, or even not that much, but I teach Jiu-Jitsu to Judo people for free, I stand up for my co-workers at work, I took care of my mom when she was dying from cancer. And I am not much, but I graduated with a 3.72 GPA and a degree in economics, have studied up to real analysis on my own, tied with a black belt and former Pan Am and World Champion last tournament. It is not much and not worth mentioning. Most of all I do not need you acceptance or respect. I am confident enough in myself.

You must have a sad life to bully random people. In the words of Natsuki, well you know.

Oh, now I'm bullying you. What a poor, poor little victim you are.

 

[weed]

@_spin

c'mon bro - maybe there are a lot of things TS hasn't mentioned. he seems like a humble dude & a bit apprehensive. then he shared how he lost his mother due to cancer.

that changes a man, in a very harsh & brutal way like no other. a good friend of mine lost his mother the very same way & he's one of the most stand up dudes I know.

TS clearly has to have had a difficult time during the grieving & healing process after such a loss, & I cannot even imagine what it must have been like for him & his father to have experienced such. but we do know the road was a harsh one traveled.

that's why I respect the TS for being so candid, & his openness in sharing his sensitivity on here. he's earned it & shouldn't be shamed for it.

 

[spin]

@_spin

c'mon bro - maybe there are a lot of things TS hasn't mentioned. he seems like a humble dude & a bit apprehensive. then he shared how he lost his mother due to cancer.

that changes a man, in a very harsh & brutal way like no other. a good friend of mine lost his mother the very same way & he's one of the most stand up dudes I know.

TS clearly has to have had a difficult time during the grieving & healing process after such a loss, & I cannot even imagine what it must have been like for him & his father to have experienced such. but we do know the road was a harsh one traveled.

that's why I respect the TS for being so candid, & his openness in sharing his sensitivity on here. he's earned it & shouldn't be shamed for it.

You're trying to excuse the human, not the behavior. Which points out that the behavior is as I say it is.

While you may think me harsh, that's how medicine tastes. He's not a victim here, regardless of other life circumstances

 

[weed]

You're trying to excuse the human, not the behavior. Which points out that the behavior is as I say it is.

While you may think me harsh, that's how medicine tastes. He's not a victim here, regardless of other life circumstances

nah man, not excusing anything here. I just sympathize with him is all. from the sound of it, his household seems delicate.

 

[spin]

nah man, not excusing anything here. I just sympathize with him is all. from the sound of it, his household seems delicate.

All the more reason to point out a course of action that will only make it worse

 

[weed]

All the more reason to point out a course of action that will only make it worse

of course. I see where you're coming from, but no need for the extra harshness, y'know?

 

[GhostZ06]

You're trying to excuse the human, not the behavior. Which points out that the behavior is as I say it is.

While you may think me harsh, that's how medicine tastes. He's not a victim here, regardless of other life circumstances

Come on man, you need to chill. You can't always be hard dick captain iron sauce on your first roll, thats not how that works. You should try an get a feel an then respond your being a little hard don't ya think. Ya i respect the bluntness but that's not blunt that kind of being an asshole, not saying your one bro, but try an understand his perspective

 

[spin]

of course. I see where you're coming from, but no need for the extra harshness, y'know?

Do you want to pretend you're not harsh in other threads?

I simply chose this one as you choose others.

 

[weed]

Do you want to pretend you're not harsh in other threads?

I simply chose this one as you choose others.

not pretending man. I'm harsh to the known dbags. the other times it's all jokes. you know that man.


look, I'm just saying the fighting is unnecessary at the end. the dude is being sincere here.

 

[spin]

Come on man, you need to chill. You can't always be hard dick captain iron sauce on your first roll, thats not how that works. You should try an get a feel an then respond your being a little hard don't ya think. Ya i respect the bluntness but that's not blunt that kind of being an asshole, not saying your one bro, but try an understand his perspective

Then let me say it as I've said it many times before, I'm totally an asshole.

And I break balls. It's my thing. I have my reasons.

 

[GhostZ06]

Then let me say it as I've said it many times before, I'm totally an asshole.

And I break balls. It's my thing. I have my reasons.

So am i but im also controlled an gather information Before firing across the bow. It's ok to be a blunt asshole an lay the truth, but its not cool to be a plane asshole.


hell @22k is a new yorker, he's born an asshole an he's tellin you to relax a min lmao.

 

[spin]

not pretending man. I'm harsh to the known dbags. the other times it's all jokes. you know that man.


look, I'm just saying the fighting is unnecessary at the end. the dude is being sincere here.

So what I'm saying, this one is a dbag, to me. Its all perspective.

 

[Pugilistic]

not pretending man. I'm harsh to the known dbags. the other times it's all jokes. you know that man.


look, I'm just saying the fighting is unnecessary at the end. the dude is being sincere here.

22k is a pretty nice poster. I've only seen him talk shit to one particular poster

 

[spin]

So am i but im also controlled an gather information Before firing across the bow. It's ok to be a blunt asshole an lay the truth, but its not cool to be a plane asshole.


hell @22k is a new yorker, he's born an asshole an he's tellin you to relax a min lmao.

I gathered imformation. Don't assume because we disagree that I'm uniformed.

Anyway my point is made. Your disapproval is noted