Jon Jones *OFFICIAL* Excuse Thread

1. He needed more broke-dick medication.

2. It was somehow cause by the eclipse.

3. Fake news.
 
Kadyrov and the Russians were responsible for framing Jon Jones. They want to dismiss the UFC's credibility and bring Jon Jones to Chechen MMA eventually
 
He ate some tainted roided up Tyson chicken fingers.
 
All the meta in this thread is unbelievably hilarious.
 
Stixx said:
I never said I believe his story, I basically said I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt this time. I won't jump to any conclusions before we know everything there is to know about this case. Maybe there is something about it this time, I don't know, but I really don't think he is that stupid. Like you said yourself. He might be a cheater, but none of us knows if that's the only fitting option yet.
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So you're holding onto the retard option. Maybe he really is that stupid
 
Someone spiked his Coke.

Someone spiked his Prostitute.

Someone spiked his Steroids.
 
HIMBOB said:
We know he is under one of the strictest testing regimes in sports and he said he thought it would be ok to take un packaged dick pills from a random guy at his gym.

If you believe his story you believe he is basically retarded.

I don't believe he is retarded, i believe he is cheater who got caught twice.

Retard or cheater, no other option fits.
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People that believe it was something like that need to ask themselves if they stood to lose millions and millions of dollars for taking the wrong thing wouldn't you think he'd be pretty careful to make sure he wasn't unless it was intentional?
 
He picked the wrong tub of "talc" up to dust his cup with & it entered his body transdermally via his scrotum & phrenum
 
HIMBOB said:
No i believe he cheated and got caught. Explain a third option.
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LOL no, I'm not gonna explain any other options to you. You believe there are only two, and I believe that things aren't necessarily black and white like that. There could be a lot more to the story than we know of. I have no frickin' idea what it might be. Maybe you're right, he cheated and got caught. Jones just doesn't strike me as an unintelligent person so I guess I'm just baffled that he could be so stupid to fuck everything up AGAIN. He seemed so determined and mentally balanced to me during the lead up to the fight. Again, I don't know shit, but it wouldn't surprise me if there was something fishy about the situation this time.
 
Jon Jones will come out as gay.
Jon Jones' boyfriend is a body builder.
Jon Jones' boyfriend had steroids in his system.
Jon Jones will admit he had gay sex with his boyfriend the day of the fight.
Jon Jones swallowed and came back positive for his boyfriend's steroids.
Jon Jones hides behind LGBTQXYZ and claims discrimination.

Case closed.
(nothing is too low or out of bounds)
 
Destinatus said:
Jon Jones will come out as gay.
Jon Jones' boyfriend is a body builder.
Jon Jones' boyfriend had steroids in his system.
Jon Jones will admit he had gay sex with his boyfriend the day of the fight.
Jon Jones swallowed and came back positive for his boyfriend's steroids.
Jon Jones hides behind LGBTQXYZ and claims discrimination.

Case closed.
(nothing is too low or out of bounds)
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HAHAHAHA this is the best set up theory I've heard yet !!
 
wilKO said:
"Someone tainted my PEDs with steroids"
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