I'm a Purple belt thinking of demoting myself to white belt

[codemonkey76]

TS... be very careful when discussing gym changes with your girlfriend, because you might be on thin ice without knowing it.

A lot of the men in this thread are giving you some bad advice by suggesting you can or should "move" your girlfriend to a different gym, as though she's a minor child. This could blow up in your face very badly.

#1: You've got no authority whatsoever when it comes to another adult's gym contract. The fact you're dating this particular adult gives you absolutely no say in how she spends her money. I'm assuming she's paying for her own gym fees. Most women do, and when they don't, they generally don't train unless their meal ticket is there too. Which clearly isn't happening, since she's continuing to train even though you're not there. If you want a say in how she spends her money or her time, you have to make her wife and not a girlfriend.

#2: Your drama is not her drama (see the "wife" versus "girlfriend" discussion above). If she's happy with her current gym and it's meeting her training needs, there's absolutely no reason to convince her to leave. Giving up her teammates, friends, and support system is roughly on par with moving to a new city where she might not fit in. That new gym of yours might be great for you, but what if it's lousy for her? Which leads me to...

#3: Nobody changes her patches for a piece of random wang. At least, not if they take their sport or their community seriously (i.e. if she's not a sausage chaser). Your girlfriend didn't follow you right out the door and she had no problem going to class without you. Obviously she believes the classes are still worth attending, and something about the school and the community is working for her.

Any athlete has the right to change gyms if they find a better opportunity for themselves, but that's not what you'd be asking your girlfriend to do. You'd be asking her to switch because having her continue to train at a gym where she's happy has become mildly inconvenient to you, due in part to your own actions.

Women sometimes do stupid things for love, so switching teams for you, sacrificing what I'm assuming is a good reputation, and chasing sausage might be a worthwhile sacrifice to make-- but only for someone who's proven himself to be a worthy partner. If you haven't done this, if you haven't put a ring on it, then you simply haven't earned the right to make such a major request yet.

Suppose for the sake of argument that you were to put pressure on her to switch teams anyway. You might get a surprise you don't like. As a single, straight female in BJJ she is irresistible and can replace a boyfriend with a snap of her fingers, especially when you are conveniently training somewhere else. It would probably require less effort than getting out of a long-term gym contract. But if you put a ring on it, she has no choice but to consider your perspective: weddings are expensive to cancel and even more expensive to undo.

haha, burn, tell it like it is!!!

 

[ganssle]

TS... be very careful when discussing gym changes with your girlfriend, because you might be on thin ice without knowing it.

A lot of the men in this thread are giving you some bad advice by suggesting you can or should "move" your girlfriend to a different gym, as though she's a minor child. This could blow up in your face very badly.

#1: You've got no authority whatsoever when it comes to another adult's gym contract. The fact you're dating this particular adult gives you absolutely no say in how she spends her money. I'm assuming she's paying for her own gym fees. Most women do, and when they don't, they generally don't train unless their meal ticket is there too. Which clearly isn't happening, since she's continuing to train even though you're not there. If you want a say in how she spends her money or her time, you have to make her wife and not a girlfriend.

#2: Your drama is not her drama (see the "wife" versus "girlfriend" discussion above). If she's happy with her current gym and it's meeting her training needs, there's absolutely no reason to convince her to leave. Giving up her teammates, friends, and support system is roughly on par with moving to a new city where she might not fit in. That new gym of yours might be great for you, but what if it's lousy for her? Which leads me to...

#3: Nobody changes her patches for a piece of random wang. At least, not if they take their sport or their community seriously (i.e. if she's not a sausage chaser). Your girlfriend didn't follow you right out the door and she had no problem going to class without you. Obviously she believes the classes are still worth attending, and something about the school and the community is working for her.

Any athlete has the right to change gyms if they find a better opportunity for themselves, but that's not what you'd be asking your girlfriend to do. You'd be asking her to switch because having her continue to train at a gym where she's happy has become mildly inconvenient to you, due in part to your own actions.

Women sometimes do stupid things for love, so switching teams for you, sacrificing what I'm assuming is a good reputation, and chasing sausage might be a worthwhile sacrifice to make-- but only for someone who's proven himself to be a worthy partner. If you haven't done this, if you haven't put a ring on it, then you simply haven't earned the right to make such a major request yet.

Suppose for the sake of argument that you were to put pressure on her to switch teams anyway. You might get a surprise you don't like. As a single, straight female in BJJ she is irresistible and can replace a boyfriend with a snap of her fingers, especially when you are conveniently training somewhere else. It would probably require less effort than getting out of a long-term gym contract. But if you put a ring on it, she has no choice but to consider your perspective: weddings are expensive to cancel and even more expensive to undo.

TLDR: Don't boss your girlfriend around unless you want to marry her first.

 

[LilMountain]

Agree with Superior. If this new school is better than take your girl to your new school. Problem solved.

this, explain to her what's happened and if she'll pick staying at that gym over you then it wasnt meant to be anyway

 

[bringbacklife]

TS... be very careful when discussing gym changes with your girlfriend, because you might be on thin ice without knowing it.

A lot of the men in this thread are giving you some bad advice by suggesting you can or should "move" your girlfriend to a different gym, as though she's a minor child. This could blow up in your face very badly.

#1: You've got no authority whatsoever when it comes to another adult's gym contract. The fact you're dating this particular adult gives you absolutely no say in how she spends her money. I'm assuming she's paying for her own gym fees. Most women do, and when they don't, they generally don't train unless their meal ticket is there too. Which clearly isn't happening, since she's continuing to train even though you're not there. If you want a say in how she spends her money or her time, you have to make her wife and not a girlfriend.

#2: Your drama is not her drama (see the "wife" versus "girlfriend" discussion above). If she's happy with her current gym and it's meeting her training needs, there's absolutely no reason to convince her to leave. Giving up her teammates, friends, and support system is roughly on par with moving to a new city where she might not fit in. That new gym of yours might be great for you, but what if it's lousy for her? Which leads me to...

#3: Nobody changes her patches for a piece of random wang. At least, not if they take their sport or their community seriously (i.e. if she's not a sausage chaser). Your girlfriend didn't follow you right out the door and she had no problem going to class without you. Obviously she believes the classes are still worth attending, and something about the school and the community is working for her.

Any athlete has the right to change gyms if they find a better opportunity for themselves, but that's not what you'd be asking your girlfriend to do. You'd be asking her to switch because having her continue to train at a gym where she's happy has become mildly inconvenient to you, due in part to your own actions.

Women sometimes do stupid things for love, so switching teams for you, sacrificing what I'm assuming is a good reputation, and chasing sausage might be a worthwhile sacrifice to make-- but only for someone who's proven himself to be a worthy partner. If you haven't done this, if you haven't put a ring on it, then you simply haven't earned the right to make such a major request yet.

Suppose for the sake of argument that you were to put pressure on her to switch teams anyway. You might get a surprise you don't like. As a single, straight female in BJJ she is irresistible and can replace a boyfriend with a snap of her fingers, especially when you are conveniently training somewhere else. It would probably require less effort than getting out of a long-term gym contract. But if you put a ring on it, she has no choice but to consider your perspective: weddings are expensive to cancel and even more expensive to undo.

aahha word.

 

[pheonix5]

She probably has different priorities in relation to BJJ than you. Tapping ,dominating and generally kicking peoples ass probably isn't a high priority. Having fun, socializing, and getting a good workout is probably more the reason she does it. If she likes it there then you should be a good BF and not question it.

The actual split was polite and he just said that he wishes me luck but I was too dangerous to train there.

This sounds like a nice way of saying you're into kicking ass,dominating people and too rough and you would be better off in a less "BJJ is for the whole family" type of atmosphere. This guy is running a school for everyone, not just fighters. Some people train as a hobby and aren't as serious about it. The pro's I can understand a bit but how did you train with the hobbyists and non-pro's ?

 

[flyingnecklock]

Sounds like someone is trying to win worlds @ white belt.

 

[Spazzmaster]

So much stress & drama. Doesn't anyone train for fun? How is this enjoyable to you, thread starter?