With women. And not aggressive in a threatening or rapey way. I mean I need to push my interaction with women towards a more romantic/sexual dynamic.
Talked to a girl by the bar while I was waiting with my friend and his girlfriend as they got their drinks. We were planning to play beer pong but since I didn't have a partner, I asked her to play with me, which she initially said no to. She was with her friend who was sitting next to her and a bit too drunk. I kept talking to her as well as trying to get the drunk friend into the conversation. She slowly warmed up to me and I joked about how I'm going to keep on convincing her to play with me, and she said sure. She left her drunk friend alone to play with me. I felt I was slowly building chemistry with her and things were going well. After the game there was a bit of a lull in the interaction. Should have taken that chance to dance with her or even go for a kiss but I missed the chance. I just kept trying to talk to her and felt whatever chemistry we had kind of fizzled out. Perhaps I could have salvaged it but I was bit too drunk and tired as fuck so I went home after saying bye to her and the friend. Ah shucks. Girl was really cute and nice but I missed my chance.
The day after, I went to a coffee shop near my place (not the one where the famed barista works) to do some reading/writing and while waiting in line to get a drink, a cute girl stood behind me so I started talking to her. Right away I felt a good amount of chemistry. We had a really good conversation with flirtatious vibes. I found out she lives pretty close to me and told her about Black Mirror. One thing I noticed right away is how intense her eye contact was. In the short little time we talked, I found myself liking her and wanting to get to know her more, and obviously bang. I asked her if she wanted to grab some drinks later at a bar and she enthusiastically agreed. But later in the conversation as it got later, she told me she was meeting her friends for dinner in the area so "Maybe we can grab drinks afterwards" but with less certainty than before. We made loose plans to grab drinks after she was done with dinner since I was going to be around anyway. Got her number and texted her "This is Pug" so she gets mine.
Around the time I thought she might be done, I kept checking my phone to see if she was still up for the drink. By the time she texted me it was a bit too late and unfortunately, she said she felt sick and just went home. She was coughing a bit earlier so I know she didn't just make up being sick. Being honest, I was bit disappointed. This girl, who I will call Lily because her actual name is also the name of a flower, left a much stronger impression on me than the girl at the bar. I have her number, and so far the texts, unlike our face to face conversation, have been very lukewarm. Her last message to me was, "Hope you have a great week Pug!" implying we won't meet again this week. She also misspelled my name. I plan to ask her to meet this week but am thinking of something a bit more eye catching than the usual boring "Hey how are you" since she isn't very responsive to texts.
She mentioned she's pretty introverted so I have a good comic strip about introverts to send her.
Anyway, the point I want to make is that perhaps I would've left a stronger impression on Lily and not friendzoned myself with the girl at the bar if I took a chance and pushed more. From my experience establishing that as a man, I am attracted to a woman as a woman, changes the nature of the interaction and makes things easier since she knows where I stand. Despite knowing this, I don't do it enough. With Lily, perhaps there was an unspoken understanding that we were interested in each other as members of the opposite sex, it was still not a certainty. I wonder if at one point I mentioned how I found her attractive or that the drinks would be like a date, would've made things clearer and increased the chances of her responding.
Cliffs:
- Was doing great with a chick but friendzoned myself by not taking the initiative
- Thought was doing great with a chick at a coffee shop but she has been unresponsive
