I Met Brendan Schaub...

[VVarhead]

When I met him we had sexual experiences to 10% of being gay.

Underrated post.

 

[scurdhomey]

Brendan the type of guy to go on Showtime press tour to defend Conor and come back as Floyd's biggest fan.

Brendan the type of guy to send d*ck pics to himself.

Brendan is the type of guy who smacks his own ass while fu*king a chick.

Brendan is the type of guy to miss the prelims because he's still "putting his outfit together."

Brendan is the type of guy to walk into a gay bar by mistake and end up staying all night.

Brendan the type of guy to pretend to be asleep when his girlfriend wants to fu*k.

Brendan the type of guy to get caught peeping at your junk in the locker room and continues looking.

Brendan the type of dude to ask his girl if his 'ass looks fat in these jeans'.

 

[Steve-French]

A few years ago I was Hitchhiking accross the country and got picked up by Tim Kennedy who was driving his Monster Truck home from Iraq.

He was cut off by a Toyota Prius covered in homosexual liberal bumper stickers. Tim Slammed on his brakes and narrowly avoided crushing the tiny homosexual car under the massive, impossing masculine weight of his monster truck's tires.

We got about a mile down the road, and Tim stopped to put all American gasoline in his truck, while the man in the Prius stopped to pick up some extra granola bars and scarves from the convenience store. That's when we realized the man in the Prius was none other than Luke Thomas.

Always a gentleman Tim displayed compassion and composure, and said nothing to Luke Thomas in his Prius as he flipped him off and displayed his tattoo of an eagle fucking the prophet Mohamed.

This is when Luke made the biggest mistake of his life.

"You know you almost killed me back there," said Luke to Kennedy, who had his shirt removed and was covered in muscles from having such a strong powerful body.

Kenndy grabbed Luke Thomas's face with one hand and ripped off the hood of the Prius with the other, in one swift move. He smashed Luke's face into the Prius's alternator, sending volt after volt of God's electricity through Thomas's body. The immense heat generated by the electrocution caused all of the semen in Lukes Anus to superheat and explode, infecting everyone in a six mile radius with HIV.

Another customer at the gas station started to panic, worrying that everybody in the town would die of Aids. Tim just smiled and pointed to a sign on the road.

"Welcome to San Fransisco," it said

 

[Source]

I saw Schaub at a grocery store in Las Vegas once. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I believe this story more than I do TS's.

 

[KONE]

I saw Schaub at a grocery store in Las Vegas once. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Holy fuck

 

[ineverpost]

I recently had the privilege to meet Brendan Schaub.

I really don't know much about him, but he seemed like a very down to Earth guy. We had a long conversation and it was pretty obvious that he is intelligent. Pretty sure he is well read. I was impressed.

He seems like a happy, worry free guy. He was with his girlfriend who was beautiful beyond belief.

He has potential to be a good role model and my meeting with him was inspiring.

did he tell you you were wrong about everything you were saying during your conversation? That is the only conversation I've ever seen him have.

 

[Boomb]

Did you ask him if Ronda really stinks, TS?

 

[rockylion]

I took my son to get a new tank top. His side muscles are getting so big that he is popping out of his wife beater at school, and it is causing a problem because the ladys are distracted, they can't keep their eyes off of him.

So we are in line at Walmart today, and this guy bumps into my achillies tendon with his shopping cart. I turned around and this s.o.b. is laughing at me. Not even a sorry. I told him to go back to Mexico and go pick some peppers. He got mad and called me a hillbilly. I was going to touch him with my jab, but the shopping cart was shielding him from my line of fire, so I picked up a bag of Skittles and launched it at his face.

He got out of the way, and the Skittles bounced off of this little girl's head. She started crying, and next thing I knew, this big black guy hits me over the head with a shovel. My son began to swing on him, and I got up and tackled the guy. I pulled down his pants and shoved a bag of skittles in his ass. Then I hit him in the cock with a pot of flowers.

The mexican guy thought it was pretty funny, so I threw him inside of his shopping cart and pushed him into a cactus. I didn't even pay for the shirt. My son and I just headed for the door. This old white guy at the door who only had one arm tried to stop us. My son shook his hand and I touched him with the jab. He went down before I could even throw the right.

As I was getting into the truck, this cop tried to put me in hand cuffs. I spun around twice and hit him with the deadly uppercut. My fourteen year old son started the pickup, so I jumped in the back and we sped home. It was a close one, but at least my son got a bigger shirt.

 

[XxanaxX]

It was a warm summer night in the year 2015. I was working nights as a police dispatcher, and my schedule was all out of whack. 6pm to 6am was my regular shift, so my nights off were often quiet, sometimes lonely, and occasionally weird. This is one of those stories. Now, 24-Hour Fitness was the perfect gym for my schedule, and 3am was my go-to workout time. And although the 24-Fitness Sport in Santa Monica, CA is certainly the busiest gym I've ever seen, it was normally as empty as the streets at 3am. On this particular night, however, I wasn't alone.

I turned up, signed in, threw my bag in a locker, stretched the quads a bit, and hopped on the treadmill. And that's when I saw him... In all his pale glory, the man himself, Brendan Schaub. My first two thoughts: Oh my God, that's Brendan Schaub ! Followed by, Why the fuck is he so pale? I swear the dude was practically transparent. He looked sickly. But he was being led around by a personal trainer, so I figured he was on the mend.

Well, the novelty of seeing Brendan Schaub in public wore off quickly so I just went to finish my workout, ignoring him. I had about 8-10 lifts on this particular day, so I finished my usual circuit around the gym. (Now I want to preface this next part by saying that at this time I was in the best shape of my life. I may be a fat bastard now, but not back then; I was training for the police academy, and I was ripped.) Well, as I complete my workout, I notice that Brendan Schaub is following me around the gym. I mean, every time I use a machine, Brendan Schaub uses it next. There must be 200 pieces of equipment in the room, but every time I finish with a machine, Brendan Schaub and his trainer use it next. Not once. Not twice. But over and over and over again. It was really weird. I mean, I had to imagine that the personal trainer was directing the workout, and not The Hybrid himself, so why the correlation? I just imagined that since I was doing common lifts, my workout was probably similar to the one prescribed by the trainer. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I started to feel like I was being cruised. So this goes on for about 45 minutes, and then I hit the treadmill to run a few more miles. Brendan Schaub and his trainer disappear. I figured that was that.

The gym was quiet again. I finished my run and then headed toward the showers. Now, the gym floor was empty, and the locker room was empty, so I figured that, except for employees, there was no one around. Brendan Schaub must have finished his work out and went home, right? No....

At this gym, directly across from the showers is the sauna room. And at the front of the sauna is a huge glass window, and it looks directly out into the shower room. Well, when I round the corner from the hallway into the showers, I look back over my shoulder, and I can see Brendan Schaub in the sauna room leaning up against the glass window. It's a large room, and he's in the only spot that has a direct view of the locker room hallway and the showers. He is sprawled out, laying across the bench and his towel is loosely draped over his body.

Okaaaaay, I think. I head to my usual spot (last shower on the right), and immediately Brendan Schaub leaves the sauna, sans towel, and starts showering as well. The thing is, he's showering, but he's also staring right at me. And he has half an erection. (I'll save you the suspense, it was fucking enormous! Like a horse.) I'm thinking, is this really happening? Is Brendan Schaub half-wanking at me?? Well, to make a long story short I started to get pretty uncomfortable, so I grabbed my towel and walked out. As I passed him, he turned to face me, holding his cock. I just ignored him and walked away, laughing to myself.

I told my roommate at the time; he laughed at the story, but he was a little skeptical on the details. Then I swear to God, not one week later, my roommate elbows me in the checkout-line at the market: "Look!" It's a National Enquirer. The cover story? "Brendan Schaub hit on me in the shower!"

Can I buy pot for you?

 

[Deleted member 519031]

I recently had the privilege to meet Brendan Schaub.

I really don't know much about him, but he seemed like a very down to Earth guy. We had a long conversation and it was pretty obvious that he is intelligent. Pretty sure he is well read. I was impressed.

He seems like a happy, worry free guy. He was with his girlfriend who was beautiful beyond belief.

He has potential to be a good role model and my meeting with him was inspiring.

pics fucko

 

[mon]

This can't be what TS imagined happening when he shared his story with us...

1200 posts, April 16 join date. If he was expecting anything else he's delusional and should have known better.

 

[scurdhomey]

I met Travis Browne at a restaurant. Rhonda had just blown me in the bathroom while my wife celebrated our daughters birthday.
View attachment 257499

whoa that is creepy

 

[HI SCOTT NEWMAN]

Reminds of when I ran into Brendan Schaub at a restaurant in LA. He was sitting alone and it looked like he'd only just started eating, so I decided to just go up and say hi (if his friends were there I would have just let him be). Anyway, I walk up and say hello and tell him I know him from his podcasts.. Nothing. No reaction. Doesn't say a word. He just sits there, staring right through me. Staring intensely, but with no emotion whatsoever.

I begin to feel awkward, so I say "sorry to disturb you" and start to walk away but before I even get a chance to turn he just gets up suddenly and starts walking toward me, still making full eye contact. At first I thought he was going to try and barge into me or something, but at the last minute (like an inch away from me) he turns and heads toward the trash can. Then he starts dumping everything on his plate into it. One by one. Steak, broc****, everything. He picks up each bit of food up, holds it high above the can and drops it. Some of it (the steak) didn't even make it into the trash because he wasn't looking at what he was doing.

Finally his plate is empty and this is the part that really ****ing weirded me out. He looks around to check no one (but me) is looking, then slides the plate under his jacket and walks out.

I was just astounded, it was pretty surreal

Thread saved!

 

[SUPERGRAPPLER]

Who was the chick he used to be with that he found out got trained by a bunch of Brazilian dudes? He talked about it on the last TFATK.

 

[Lawrence]

I was at the AKC dog Championships with my mother in law last fall... I hated it but had to do it because she loaned us money... Anyhow we had really good seats and Brendon Shaub was sitting right next to us...

He was all into it and picked up on our conversation and was constantly correcting my mother in law about breeding practices, which I also thought was weird.. My mother in law, not knowing Brendon's fame finally got fed-up and asked him, "how the hell do you know so much about dogs young man?...

But Brendon shut my mother in law down man... He said during college to make extra money, his full ride scholarship wasn't that full I guess.... He inseminated Yorkies.... No fucking joke,

He then went on to explain how he put the sperm in the furry little things with an eye dropper... But what really shut ol Mom down was when he explained how he "milked" the male Yorkies.

He said that his Nickname the "Hybrid" came about because he would sometimes take Yorkie sperm and put it in larger dogs.... Sometimes a Mastiff, sometimes a Rottweiler.

 

[Ibm]

Haha, why people talk so much about him is beyond me. He seems pretty down to earth.

 

[GigglesTheClown]

I remember running into Schaub several years ago, not long after a vicious KO loss. It was at a local park, and it appeared he had just finished a morning jog, as he was sitting on a bench. Recognizing him, I sat on the same bench, and glanced over at his direction a handful of times, in an attempt to gain his attention.

I figured I'd say hello, and maybe encourage him by telling him to keep his head up, and that I was looking forward to his next battle.

Roughly 25 minutes went by, and I was still intermittently looking in his direction trying to make eye contact. He was messing around with his phone, and never bothered to look up, or even acknowledge the world around him. Some banging broads were jogging nearby, and he made no attempt to look up at them.

He started fumbling in his pockets, as if he was about to get up and leave, so I said, "how's it going, champ?"

He immediately looked me dead in the eye and said "champ!?", in a rather irritated voice. "What the (expletive) do you mean by champ!?"

I said, "Brendan", I'm just trying to be nice. "I'm looking forward to your next fight, bud." "Keep your head up, pal."

Brendan proceeded to beat the ever-living tar out of me. I was left under a park bench in a lifeless heap of humanity. To make things infinitely worse, I was in my clown costume.

 

[Idonotbelieveit]

Seems an idiot from joe rogan podcast

Shouldn't have wasted your time

 

[CubixRube]

I saw Schaub at a grocery store in Las Vegas once. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

How does this only have 30 likes!?!