Hate how girls start showing you attention when you’re in a relationship

This is a good point that's often overlooked. It's creepy, unless she's into it. But how the hell would you determine that without making a move? Once again you're expected to guess what they want because they won't flat out tell you. Then you throw in the fact that some girls flirt just for attention, while they already have a man, and it's a minefield.


If I'm in a relationship I keep every other girl at a respectful distance so there's NO confusion.
Sure there are certainly some women who are attention and ego whores and there are men who are just playa and assholes. It goes both ways. I won't blame women for not being clear as you can see on this site how hard guys are on any woman who is sexually active. A woman out having sex is a 'cum bucket' or worse so you can understand how at the earliest ages women learn to hide interest and casual relationships. That is also why women are so much better at having affairs and not getting caught then men. They have trained for discreetness from puberty whereas men are trained to flaunt it and brag and even once married they still kind of really want others to know.
 
Being extremely good looking and wealthy I’ve never had to experience this issue. Must suck to be ugly.
Found a picture of you at work. You may be overselling it.

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Sure there are certainly some women who are attention and ego whores and there are men who are just playa and assholes. It goes both ways. I won't blame women for not being clear as you can see on this site how hard guys are on any woman who is sexually active. A woman out having sex is a 'cum bucket' or worse so you can understand how at the earliest ages women learn to hide interest and casual relationships. That is also why women are so much better at having affairs and not getting caught then men. They have trained for discreetness from puberty whereas men are trained to flaunt it and brag and even once married they still kind of really want others to know.

For sure I always say in these topics guys are terrible too, but I don't date guys so it's not as relevant to me. It's kind of difficult with the slut shaming. Some people are really unreasonable about that, but these days it also seems like the hookup culture is much more prominent because of social media.


It's just my opinion, but I have no interest in dating girls with 50+ or 100+ previous partners. Generally speaking that's a sign of mental instability in women. I've very rarely met girls with high numbers that weren't crazy. Bottom line is from an evolutionary standpoint men are designed to bang as many women as possible. Women are designed to be as selective as possible and seek a high value mate. Knowing this, it should set off red flags that a LOT of women are putting up 50+ before they hit 30. It's telling when you have a lot of female friends or acquaintances, because you hear the REAL numbers a lot more often.
 
For sure I always say in these topics guys are terrible too, but I don't date guys so it's not as relevant to me. It's kind of difficult with the slut shaming. Some people are really unreasonable about that, but these days it also seems like the hookup culture is much more prominent because of social media.


It's just my opinion, but I have no interest in dating girls with 50+ or 100+ previous partners. Generally speaking that's a sign of mental instability in women. I've very rarely met girls with high numbers that weren't crazy. Bottom line is from an evolutionary standpoint men are designed to bang as many women as possible. Women are designed to be as selective as possible and seek a high value mate. Knowing this, it should set off red flags that a LOT of women are putting up 50+ before they hit 30. It's telling when you have a lot of female friends or acquaintances, because you hear the REAL numbers a lot more often.
From an evolutionary standpoint actually men and women are both designed to seek out as many partners as possible to copulate with. Yes women from a nesting perspective THEN will seek out a stable mate, but prior that is not the case.

And the reason for that is evolution does not give a damn about monogamy. It just wants the healthiest babies possible. The strong to mate and survive. And therefore nature does not want a fertile strong woman with a weal but stable man, and instead drives her (and him) to have multiple partners when fertile so hopefully the strongest sperm get thru and do the job.

There is an excellent show on Nova that was called something like Sperm Wars that unfortunately I cannot find anyone more. They showed that what was once thought of as lazy sperm in men (and you have too many you are infertile) were actually tactical defense sperm. Men have three types of sperm typically. The first are the sprinters. They have one job and that is sprint for the egg and fertilizer it and knock her up. The second type are one that just look and act dead but they also have a role which is to clog up the lane way to make it tougher for other sperm to get thru. The lazy sperm move around but slow and never seem to head for the egg. They just go back and forth and side to side seemingly aimlessly.

That is until other sperm enter the woman. Then those sperm wake up and attack the new sperm like it is the egg. They ram their head and try to penetrate and kill the incoming sperm to prevent them from getting to the egg first.

Think about that. Think about for how long women who were fertile would be seeking to get multiple men to cum inside them so the healthiest sperm would be the one to fertilize her such that men's sperm evolved to fight other sperm.


They also said that is why typically after an orgasm so many women are wide awake and still ready for more whereas the man wants to pass out and sleep. Nature wants her up and walking around and looking for more while he passes out oblivious.

Crazy shit evolution but it tells you how must evolutionary instinct we must get over to be monogamous.
 
From an evolutionary standpoint actually men and women are both designed to seek out as many partners as possible to copulate with. Yes women from a nesting perspective THEN will seek out a stable mate, but prior that is not the case.

And the reason for that is evolution does not give a damn about monogamy. It just wants the healthiest babies possible. The strong to mate and survive. And therefore nature does not want a fertile strong woman with a weal but stable man, and instead drives her (and him) to have multiple partners when fertile so hopefully the strongest sperm get thru and do the job.

There is an excellent show on Nova that was called something like Sperm Wars that unfortunately I cannot find anyone more. They showed that what was once thought of as lazy sperm in men (and you have too many you are infertile) were actually tactical defense sperm. Men have three types of sperm typically. The first are the sprinters. They have one job and that is sprint for the egg and fertilizer it and knock her up. The second type are one that just look and act dead but they also have a role which is to clog up the lane way to make it tougher for other sperm to get thru. The lazy sperm move around but slow and never seem to head for the egg. They just go back and forth and side to side seemingly aimlessly.

That is until other sperm enter the woman. Then those sperm wake up and attack the new sperm like it is the egg. They ram their head and try to penetrate and kill the incoming sperm to prevent them from getting to the egg first.

Think about that. Think about for how long women who were fertile would be seeking to get multiple men to cum inside them so the healthiest sperm would be the one to fertilize her such that men's sperm evolved to fight other sperm.


They also said that is why typically after an orgasm so many women are wide awake and still ready for more whereas the man wants to pass out and sleep. Nature wants her up and walking around and looking for more while he passes out oblivious.

Crazy shit evolution but it tells you how must evolutionary instinct we must get over to be monogamous.
Yeah I've heard about the "blocker" sperm before. It's a blurry line between "natural" and social construct. Some theorize that we moved from poly to monogamous relationships to create a stronger family unit, as our young are vulnerable for a longer time period than most other animals. Some theorize it was to slow the spread of stds. I do agree monogamy isn't really a "natural" state, as very few animals mate for life.


Honestly I think the main reason is after a certain point it's just hard to operate as a poly society and have any kind of unity. People are waaaaay too jealous for that. Really when you think about it, anything tied to morality is a social construct. Morals don't exist in a vacuum. At the end of the day everyone likes to bang, but I have a dim view of sluts whether male or female. Part of functioning in a society is suppressing your base instincts. A lot of people seem to think well I have wants and urges and that's all that matters. But that's MY morality. It's a hard conversation to have without bringing your own biases in, as ultimately there's no real right or wrong imo.
 
Yeah I've heard about the "blocker" sperm before. It's a blurry line between "natural" and social construct. Some theorize that we moved from poly to monogamous relationships to create a stronger family unit, as our young are vulnerable for a longer time period than most other animals. Some theorize it was to slow the spread of stds. I do agree monogamy isn't really a "natural" state, as very few animals mate for life.


Honestly I think the main reason is after a certain point it's just hard to operate as a poly society and have any kind of unity. People are waaaaay too jealous for that. Really when you think about it, anything tied to morality is a social construct. Morals don't exist in a vacuum. At the end of the day everyone likes to bang, but I have a dim view of sluts whether male or female. Part of functioning in a society is suppressing your base instincts. A lot of people seem to think well I have wants and urges and that's all that matters. But that's MY morality. It's a hard conversation to have without bringing your own biases in, as ultimately there's no real right or wrong imo.
Well for most of our evolutionary existence we were basically animals. Animals don't really care about monogamy. I mean, yes the alpha male may protect his harem and try to keep other males away but that is because nature wants the alpha to be the one to propagate as that is the best genes. Its not like if another male does her he gets jealous. He just takes her back with force.

As we have become intellectual beings, yes our desire for family and stability has begun to take over. Plus a stable home is a great thing for rearing kids. But that does not impacting nature wanting the alpha to be the one to impregnate the women. Thus why so many nice stable secure married men are raising the kids of other less stable but more desirable alpha males.

Right behind the stable doctor is this man banging his wife...


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there is a powerful natural drive that tells her to seek the first guy for security but the second for her offspring.
 
Well for most of our evolutionary existence we were basically animals. Animals don't really care about monogamy. I mean, yes the alpha male may protect his harem and try to keep other males away but that is because nature wants the alpha to be the one to propagate as that is the best genes. Its not like if another male does her he gets jealous. He just takes her back with force.

As we have become intellectual beings, yes our desire for family and stability has begun to take over. Plus a stable home is a great thing for rearing kids. But that does not impacting nature wanting the alpha to be the one to impregnate the women. Thus why so many nice stable secure married men are raising the kids of other less stable but more desirable alpha males.

Right behind the stable doctor is this man banging his wife...


8db37caec3d019a9c6342cc5c8f2d178.jpg



article-0-194C3125000005DC-779_634x446.jpg


there is a powerful natural drive that tells her to seek the first guy for security but the second for her offspring.

True. Natural instincts are a motherfucker. I still struggle with the fact that I want a partner I'm intellectually and emotionally compatible with, looks aren't that important to me long term. But I'd sure rather date a pretty girl with some of those qualities than an ugly girl with all of them. Even though I KNOW appearance isn't that important long term.
 
True. Natural instincts are a motherfucker. I still struggle with the fact that I want a partner I'm intellectually and emotionally compatible with, looks aren't that important to me long term. But I'd sure rather date a pretty girl with some of those qualities than an ugly girl with all of them. Even though I KNOW appearance isn't that important long term.
Yup and as much as that is a battle for you now imagine it for that pretty wife should you get her.

You would WANT the prettiest girl possible to have sex with if you could get it even if you did not want that person for a mate. A good looking girl CAN have the best looking guys to have sex with even if she chooses you as her mate due to stability.

Imagine if you have the availability she did and how hard it would be to control yourself. In other words imagine yourself a rich celebrity male which is the equivalent of a regular hot women when it comes to sexual opportunity.
 
Yup and as much as that is a battle for you now imagine it for that pretty wife should you get her.

You would WANT the prettiest girl possible to have sex with if you could get it even if you did not want that person for a mate. A good looking girl CAN have the best looking guys to have sex with even if she chooses you as her mate due to stability.

Imagine if you have the availability she did and how hard it would be to control yourself. In other words imagine yourself a rich celebrity male which is the equivalent of a regular hot women when it comes to sexual opportunity.

Yeah I've never been a ladies man. I'm a pretty big introvert. When I AM dating a girl, I do get a lot of attention from other girls. Some of them way hotter than my GF. But I still wouldn't ever cheat. Which is part of what frustrates me about people. I get we all have urges, hell if anything it should be HARDER for an introvert like me to say no to hot girls throwing themselves at him. It sure as hell doesn't happen every day. But part of being an adult is using logic and reason, and not blindly following your ever impulse. Monogamy IS hard, which is why you have to put in the effort if you want it to work.
 
This is a good point that's often overlooked. It's creepy, unless she's into it. But how the hell would you determine that without making a move? Once again you're expected to guess what they want because they won't flat out tell you. Then you throw in the fact that some girls flirt just for attention, while they already have a man, and it's a minefield.


If I'm in a relationship I keep every other girl at a respectful distance so there's NO confusion.
I feel like it doesn’t get creepy until the guy is doing some grand gesture before even testing the waters, or becomes legitimately creepy lol. I mean stalking, possessive (reminder, we’re not even dating lol), won’t leave you alone, and sometimes flirting in the most inappropriate times.

Men asking hey u wanna go for a date or whatever isn’t creepy, or asking if you’d be interested in turning the relationship romantic. That’s fine really. It just seems after you turn a guy down he just . . . Won’t accept that and keeps persisting and it’s annoying as hell. That persisting may work for some people but I just end up feeling that I’m being disrespected as he didn’t listen to me. Then I become pissy and bitchy lol.
 
but there were A LOT of guys that i'd show basic kindness to, and the next thing you know they're up my ass lol. or i guess they wish they were xD some became fucking stalkers. tho i must add this also happened with another girl i was nice to . . . she . . . was crazy and . . . well anyways, lol.

huh-huh, huh-huh, she said "up my ass"...:p
 
I feel like it doesn’t get creepy until the guy is doing some grand gesture before even testing the waters, or becomes legitimately creepy lol. I mean stalking, possessive (reminder, we’re not even dating lol), won’t leave you alone, and sometimes flirting in the most inappropriate times.

Men asking hey u wanna go for a date or whatever isn’t creepy, or asking if you’d be interested in turning the relationship romantic. That’s fine really. It just seems after you turn a guy down he just . . . Won’t accept that and keeps persisting and it’s annoying as hell. That persisting may work for some people but I just end up feeling that I’m being disrespected as he didn’t listen to me. Then I become pissy and bitchy lol.

Yeah I know a lot of guys do that. Always seemed odd to me. When I was around 17-18 I tried to get this girl by hanging around being her "friend". After that I realized that's kind of a weird creepy and shitty thing to do. And it doesn't work.


I've had a number of female friends, and I legitimately have no problem being friends with a girl and not expecting more. The last time I caught feelings over a girl I was friends with was my ex-wife. Even then I was like hey look I'm starting to have feels here. Can't be your friend anymore. But that only happens when I have a LOT of chemistry with a girl. Otherwise I can be friends and never have much interest even if she's hot.


I remember when I was engaged I was working at this call center just packed with 20 something women. But all I would ever talk about around them was my fiance and planning our wedding. And my cat lol. They thought it was refreshing to have a guy around to talk to that wasn't trying to get in their pants.
 
Yeah I know a lot of guys do that. Always seemed odd to me. When I was around 17-18 I tried to get this girl by hanging around being her "friend". After that I realized that's kind of a weird creepy and shitty thing to do. And it doesn't work.


I've had a number of female friends, and I legitimately have no problem being friends with a girl and not expecting more. The last time I caught feelings over a girl I was friends with was my ex-wife. Even then I was like hey look I'm starting to have feels here. Can't be your friend anymore. But that only happens when I have a LOT of chemistry with a girl. Otherwise I can be friends and never have much interest even if she's hot.


I remember when I was engaged I was working at this call center just packed with 20 something women. But all I would ever talk about around them was my fiance and planning our wedding. And my cat lol. They thought it was refreshing to have a guy around to talk to that wasn't trying to get in their pants.
Lol that’s cute. Especially about the cat. That’s so you xD
 
There really isn't a difference between a guy doing this naturally and another guy learning how to do this via PUA though. It is the same social interactions except one is a natural at it and the other had to learn/practice it.

It it like you are trying to make it like they are predators and there are victims. It is merely trained socialization. No different than a girl learning how to do makeup.

I just read Jordan Petterson's new book about rules for life and literally the first rule is "stand up straight with your shoulders back". Same kind of thing. It is trained/learned socialization.

Might be some shitty PUA stuff out there, much like there are shitty people. I haven't read or watched enough of it to judge or know the good from the bad.

From what I have seen though, the concept and psychology behind it is benign.
So you're saying that ideally social interactions are win-win - on the up and mutually beneficial?

Can't see too many people of sound mind and good breeding disagreeing with that :)
 
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