Gym Idiots Thread VI

[PLftw]

when the time is right

 

[General Sherman]

It's always the right time.

 

[Fenderson]

What if your on the toilet?

 

[Angus McSteak]

Watched someone unrack the weights off a bar from one side so it tipped and fell off the rack. Gym was empty so no one was affected. Pretty funny to see someone do this. This would be the gym idiot but the gym asshole is the person who left a loaded bar on the rack.

 

[Wrestler152]

Guy who does full curls with one arm and half curls with the other? didn't understand it

 

[Justice 4 All]

Guy who does full curls with one arm and half curls with the other? didn't understand it

Only needs to hit the lower bicep with the other arm. Performing full ROM with a range of exercises performed at different angles will effectively target the whole bicep - the lower, upper, middle, outer, inner and parallel dimensional segments of the muscle.

 

[AgeofEmpires2**]

Actually saw a previous gym idiot doing front squats in the squat rack to full depth. I was impressed.

 

[Tension]

Actually saw a previous gym idiot doing front squats in the squat rack to full depth. I was impressed.

There is hope. Although, I am conflicted. More people doing legit movements makes creates excess demand on the equipment that I use. :icon_neut

Gym idiot:
1. Well, school is now back in session. I was squatting and I saw a kid go on to the oly platforms to curl.

2. There was also this guy doing a exercise that I can only describe as the "pterodactyl". It was basically a lateral dumbbell raises combined with the lower body movements of a push press.

 

[colobb]

Only needs to hit the lower bicep with the other arm. Performing full ROM with a range of exercises performed at different angles will effectively target the whole bicep - the lower, upper, middle, outer, inner and parallel dimensional segments of the muscle.

wut?..... you been reading dat der Muscle and Fitness brah....lulz

 

[Pearse Shields]

wut?..... you been reading dat der Muscle and Fitness brah....lulz

Oh no, my good man. This highly important topic was more recently covered in Flex magazine, which had Jay Cutler in it, so it's gotta be legit. Muscle and Fitness this issue was focusing more on how to get shredded abs, because like my main man says, you gotta get cuts for the sluts.

 

[Flash_Monsta]

2 of the chest club guys minced into the gym yesterday, asked us about a good backworkout, and admitted that they feel embarrassed constantly hitting chest because thats what the "big guy" in the group says they should do, and they know its wrong.
Theres hope yet.

 

[Flash_Monsta]

Theres an 'Askhole' in my gym that insists on fireing question after question after question. Dont get me wrong, I'm all for helping people and giving some advice but when the questions contradict themselves it gets annoying. E.g. How do I get abs, How do I get bigger muscles? I want too get bigger, Can you give me bulking advice etc.
So he's asking for bulking advice and cutting advice right after eachother. I take the time too explain that shit doesnt happen overnight it takes time but he's just looking for that quick fix answer and literally ignores anything I say that he doesnt want too know.
Then goes up too the other instructors and asks the exact same questions hopeing one of those will give him the answers he wants too hear.
Basically I asked him how often he eats, his answer was "all the time" but he only has 1 proper meal and the rest is a bulking protein shake, so I had too tell him that "you think your eating enough but your not, and you think your training hard but your not".
Every single pissing time he's in here he's asking question after question after question, but he's not listening!

 

[colobb]

Oh no, my good man. This highly important topic was more recently covered in Flex magazine, which had Jay Cutler in it, so it's gotta be legit. Muscle and Fitness this issue was focusing more on how to get shredded abs, because like my main man says, you gotta get cuts for the sluts.

f*ckin lulz... must have missed that issue.

The key is bro, ya gotsta hit the muscle from all angles, partial reps, negatives, ect to get dem gunz

 

[hardheart]

I heard a guy in the gym the other day behind me while I was changing:

"I just want to put on some weight man. I need to get some fat on me. I don't care. You can turn fat in to muscle easier than you can build just muscle."

*sigh* *I start rubbing my eyes as I'm starting to get a headache*

This conversation goes on for a few minutes. After I have my clothes on I spin around and look at both of the guys (about 25 years old). I have my hate face on. I ask kind of quietly in that, I'm really fucking serious about my motherfucking bacon Ron Swanson voice, "Do you really want to gain weight?"

Them, "Yes!"

Me, "Are you sure?"

Them, "Yes!"

At this point I assume they think they've found a roid dealer.

Me, "Are you willing to do exactly what I tell you?"

Them, "Yes."

Me, "Drink a gallon of whole milk per day. Not that pussy ass watered down shit. Whole milk only."

Them, "Milk?"

Me, "Yes, whole milk. A gallon of milk is like 3200 calories. If you add the milk to your normal food, you'll put on 20lbs in 30 days. I guarantee it. Some will be fat, just like you said you wanted."

Them, "Wow. I never thought of that."

Me, "You don't have to believe me. You can go look it up on the internet. It's called GOMAD, aka, gallon of milk a day."

Them, "I believe you. I'm not going to look it up. I'm going to do it. You'll see."

Now, I'm not the biggest guy in the gym. I'm 5'11" or so and 200lbs~ give or take 5lbs depending on when I most recently dropped a deuce. I assume those guys wanted what I have, a few more lbs. I gave them the knowledge to get it.

The idiot part comes in when I heard the, "turn fat into muscle" thing. I hear some of the dumbest shit in the locker room. Fucking seriously. Most of the time I can overlook it but this time I just couldn't.

 

[Twisted Elbow**]

Walked to the free weight room to go to my power rack. What do I see? Some idiot left a loaded bar, a stability ball, and some dumbells. Ok I will unrack your weights.

At this point I'm a little peeved my warm up became a mini workouts in its own. There was one other guy there. I mumbled loud to myself,"what the fuck is this doing here(stability ball)." so I kick it across the room.

Turns out, the other guy in the room who happens to be a 240+ gorilla, was using it to work them guns. I know this cause he walked over to the ball I just kicked with his dumbells and started his brocep routine. Lol wut?

 

[Defenz Mechanzm**]

Yesterday, some amazon woman (not in muscle, she was a 6'2 ~180lb) took over the bench press and was doing some weird exercise with it.
Laying flat on her back, legs up, going side to side, sitting dips, push ups...

oh, once again laying on her back, her bar is 55lbs, she pulls it out and raises her legs and starts doing some form of ab workout....

Finally she was done, I was stuck hawking the 2 presses, waiting for one to finish so I can jump on it.. the other guy seemed to be doing a 5/3/1 with 3min rest, 225lbs i think he was doing.
so I the bitch left and omg, that seat was all nasty sweat, had to go downstair to get a towel, by the time I came back up, some dude is using it and he had no towel next to him, and he kept swirming his back. Needless to say, he didnt stay there long and I wiped that shit down and did my weaksauce benchpress.

 

[Envy]

I had just finished a set of 5 at 440 in the dead, when this bro says "Holy shit man, that's impressive. Wish I could lift 1/4 that much."

Wait, 1/4 of 440? That's 110 pounds. If a full grown man can't pull 110 pounds, there is something seriously wrong with that fucker. Idiot.

 

[Justice 4 All]

I had just finished a set of 5 at 440 in the dead, when this bro says "Holy shit man, that's impressive. Wish I could lift 1/4 that much."

Wait, 1/4 of 440? That's 110 pounds. If a full grown man can't pull 110 pounds, there is something seriously wrong with that fucker. Idiot.

I believe he was attempting to compliment you.

 

[Chest Rockwell]

 

[moyy]

I heard a guy in the gym the other day behind me while I was changing:

"I just want to put on some weight man. I need to get some fat on me. I don't care. You can turn fat in to muscle easier than you can build just muscle."

*sigh* *I start rubbing my eyes as I'm starting to get a headache*

This conversation goes on for a few minutes. After I have my clothes on I spin around and look at both of the guys (about 25 years old). I have my hate face on. I ask kind of quietly in that, I'm really fucking serious about my motherfucking bacon Ron Swanson voice, "Do you really want to gain weight?"

Them, "Yes!"

Me, "Are you sure?"

Them, "Yes!"

At this point I assume they think they've found a roid dealer.

Me, "Are you willing to do exactly what I tell you?"

Them, "Yes."

Me, "Drink a gallon of whole milk per day. Not that pussy ass watered down shit. Whole milk only."

Them, "Milk?"

Me, "Yes, whole milk. A gallon of milk is like 3200 calories. If you add the milk to your normal food, you'll put on 20lbs in 30 days. I guarantee it. Some will be fat, just like you said you wanted."

Them, "Wow. I never thought of that."

Me, "You don't have to believe me. You can go look it up on the internet. It's called GOMAD, aka, gallon of milk a day."

Them, "I believe you. I'm not going to look it up. I'm going to do it. You'll see."

Now, I'm not the biggest guy in the gym. I'm 5'11" or so and 200lbs~ give or take 5lbs depending on when I most recently dropped a deuce. I assume those guys wanted what I have, a few more lbs. I gave them the knowledge to get it.

The idiot part comes in when I heard the, "turn fat into muscle" thing. I hear some of the dumbest shit in the locker room. Fucking seriously. Most of the time I can overlook it but this time I just couldn't.

You drop impressively heavy deuces.