Funny shit students say

Discussion in 'Grappling Technique' started by jack36767, Jul 11, 2017.

  1. jack36767 Brown Belt

    jack36767
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    I recently got a new coaching job (wrestling) and we were at a camp and a couple funny things happened

    1. "Coach my stomach doesn't feel good" during warm-ups me, "what did you eat?" "Fruit loops coach" o_O

    2. "I'm going to make 113 next year coach, (weighs 135) I'm not going lift weights and I'll spit" dead serious <{CMPALM}>
    3. Another Goes from being last in sprints by 20 yards to winning by ten yards on the last one. When told not to sandbag "coach I got too many fast twitch fiber muscles, like I know science and shit"<seedat>

    I'm not making fun of them, I was even stupider that age which makes it even funnier. What are some of your favorites from any sport
     
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  2. Dogstarman Old man jiu jitsu

    Dogstarman
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    Nice. Do you get mad and start yelling and make it harder on them or do you just look at them deadpan then watch them walk off?
     
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  3. MaxMMA Blue Belt

    MaxMMA
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    "Hey coach can you show me how to do this." After I just showed them how to do it 5 times in a row and then asked two times "does anyone have any questions?"
     
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  4. Balto Silver Belt

    Balto
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    "What do you think I need to work on?"
    "You need to work on X. Just work on X for now."
    "Yeah but I really need to work on Y instead, right?"
    "No. I think you should just listen to me and work on X."
    Ten minutes later...
    "Yeah coach told me I really need to work on Y."
     
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  5. bowened face kick

    bowened
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    One of my all time favorite moments was a new guy came in to try a bjj class. He had never trained before and was ready to kick ass.

    He was a tiny little guy with baby fat from head to toe (looked like he'd never worked out once in his life) and was fully decked out in TapOut gear (this was probably ten years ago).

    Class starts and our coach eventually started teaching a guard pass or something like that. I guess this dude got bored because he stood up in the middle of instruction, put on his mma gloves, went and sat on a heavy bag and started working the worst excuse for "ground n pound" I've ever seen. The whole class looked over at him and burst out laughing. Funniest shit I've ever seen.

    Coach was like, "What the hell are you doing?"

    Guy says, "Working my ground and pound."

    Coach says something to the effect of, "You'll never be in the position to ground and pound anybody. Get your ass back over here and don't do that during instruction again."

    lol the TUF era in bjj schools.
     
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  6. ArtemV Silver Belt

    ArtemV
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    A guy at my judo club says he tapped bjj and judo black belts without realizing that they were going easy as he is just a yellow belt, lol. He said whenever he is at 100% he can compete with black belts lol, whenever we do randori/ne waza, I and most of the club always whoop him...
     
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  7. j123 Pro Sherdogger 500-0-1

    j123
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  8. Solidus Snake Purple Belt

    Solidus Snake
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    Some years ago at a seminar, paired with a kinda seasoned blue belt around forty guy (I was a blue belt too at the time).
    him: what was that stuff the guy was showing I don't get it
    me: well it's not difficult you go in deep half guard and..
    him: what is deep half guard?
     
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  9. jack36767 Brown Belt

    jack36767
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    It totally depends, I try very hard not to yell too much, if I actually yell, they all know exactly why. The deadpan or "really" look is much more effective. And if snapped every time high school boys said dumb things.. well.. I'd have heart problems lol
     
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  10. jack36767 Brown Belt

    jack36767
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    I literally had this conversation with one of my 8th graders an hour ago <45>
     
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  11. ArtemV Silver Belt

    ArtemV
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    @jack36767 Do you know any good instructional videos/camps on the front chest lock?
     
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  12. RJ Green Black Belt

    RJ Green
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    "_______'s a cheap move."
    - People immediately after tapping to ezekiel chokes and wrist locks

    "Isn't that illegal?"
    - Judo citrus belts whenever you touch their leg in newaza or crossface them with not-your-hands

    "What's a butterfly guard?"
    - Judo Black Belts

    "That jujitsu crap is stupid."
    - old judo players

    "Judo doesn't work"
    - new jujitsu players

    "Leglocks for everybody."
    - sambo guys

    "Yeah but what if they had a knife?"
    - *that* guy
     
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  13. jack36767 Brown Belt

    jack36767
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    This is the best one I can show you from YouTube. I'll try to remember to find more when I'm not at work.
     
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  14. ArtemV Silver Belt

    ArtemV
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    This guy who I mentioned above tries all of this when he can't do anything, we were in the middle of newaza randori, so he tried to ankle lock me... he isn't even a sambo guy lol, he was a bad greco guy and tried an ankle lock I am pretty sure he had only just learnt in the past week as he still couldn't properly apply it.. and when I scissor swept him last year, he asked me something like 'what was that crazy move you done?...'.

    I understand that we were all there at one point in our lives, but that sh*t was embarrassing.

    He also asked if the big greco pick ups (from parter) are legal in judo... most people just sigh and facepalm when this guy asks a question like that
     
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  15. elvis 78 Brown Belt

    elvis 78
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    I was at a seminar and watched a new blue belt say to a seventh degree black belt " yeah , but have you ever considered "
     
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  16. KikoJones Orange Belt

    KikoJones
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    Finishing up fundamentals
    Me, "Anyone have a question about any move before we go?"
    New White Belt (dead serious), "teach me the Flying Arm Bar. I saw it on youTube."
    Me, "How about you learn to do a proper technique on the ground and then we'll consider a flying anything?"
     
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  17. Turtlepawah Yellow Belt

    Turtlepawah
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    A couple of years ago, a new white belt signed up at our gym. He didn't want to go in the beginners group, since he'd had three months of MMA training. He obviously watch alot of youtube, cause he was always talking about Eddie Bravo, and how he aimed for that kind of MMA-based jiu jitsu. One day, a blue belt explained to him that knee reaping as well as the twister was prohibited in BJJ. The guy threw his hand up in the air and exclaimed "But that's my entire game!" Unsurprisingly, he didn't last long.
     
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  18. Shizzx Blue Belt

    Shizzx
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    Your stronger than i thought - "people that lose by skill"

    *Judo Black belt* I'll stand on this side of you
    *BJJ Brown belt* No, you stand back there
    *Judo Black belt* I'm a black belt
    *BJJ Brown belt* Not here your not, You stand there

    I almost tapped a brown belt *white belt says*
    *everyone giggling* Was he smiling while you were rolling?
    Yeah, he knew he was done * white belt*
    *everyone giggling* Try it again and ask him to go full speed
    Wait what?? * white belt*

    * Blue belt being submitted * oohhh OWWWWW that hurts
    * Coach * Then say tap
    * Blue belt * Oh i forgot

    *white belt * Coach can I do this move?
    *Coach * GO over the move we just showed
    *white belt* but what is we do this
    *Coach* Go over the move we just showed
    *white belt* "going over the move we didnt show
    *Coach* what are you doing
    *white belt* Going over the move i just showed you
    *Coach* Dear God, smh
     
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  19. jack36767 Brown Belt

    jack36767
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    Another thing that occurred at the camp. It was run by Kyle Ruschell, a Pan Am champ, 2x AA. Issiac Jordan 4x A, national finalist, and TJ Ruschell a multiple time qualifier

    We have kid who's going to be an 8th grader, who's a great kid but are going to spend a.. significant amount of time of social skills. In between sessions we were watching matches and a graphic popped up showing that Ruschell got 8th in the big ten. My kid goes "oh my god he got 8th?! I would kill myself rather than get 8th, he sucks," me and the other coach paired him with Ruschell the next session
     
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  20. zeli_papa Yellow Belt

    zeli_papa
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    Hehe some of those lines are great. I've got one:
    "Your breathing's heavy"- when having a guy in side control and pretty much demolishing him the whole round.
    Also what do you guys make of the "you're so strong" complement? Don't you feel sometimes it's kind of an insult in disguise, like you're just strong and have no technique? Fair enough if I was some kind of 120kg monster, but I'm just a regular 86kg male
     
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