Florida Man raped by bigfoot (UPDATE: happened again in Colorado)

[Zer]

Honestly let's talk about a dude with real problems here

Spoiler

 

[ClubFoot]

Honestly let's talk about a dude with real problems here

Spoiler

Us Geordies just don't have a lot to smile about these days.

At least he went out the way he would've wanted.

 

[Big_Chief_Stove]

This might cause him to pull out of his fight with Big Country.

Lmfao, he trains in FL and everything. Damn good post.

 

[Halifax]

Silva?

 

[RawHawg]

There are always a few of these near the hot deli section in WalMart at any given time.

 

[Fedor Machida]

This might cause him to pull out of his fight with Big Country.

"female bigfoot"

 

[PRIDEWASBETTER]

"female bigfoot"

The lack of TRT does strange things.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Honestly let's talk about a dude with real problems here

Spoiler

That must've been some anal cream pie

 

[Fugazi]

I was almost sexually assaulted by one. We were on a date, friend of a friend set up kinda thing, anyway, we go to Golden Corral and it's going well. We finish our all you can eat shrimp and head out. We decide to go bowling, she drives and there was a bee in the car. The bee happens to land on my genital area and she swipes at it, gently, but brushes one of my balls. I asked to end the night as I was very uncomfortable with her veiled advances.
So, female big feet are just as sexually aggressive as their male counterparts.

 

[JosephDredd]

I was almost sexually assaulted by one. We were on a date, friend of a friend set up kinda thing, anyway, we go to Golden Corral and it's going well. We finish our all you can eat shrimp and head out. We decide to go bowling, she drives and there was a bee in the car. The bee happens to land on my genital area and she swipes at it, gently, but brushes one of my balls. I asked to end the night as I was very uncomfortable with her veiled advances.
So, female big feet are just as sexually aggressive as their male counterparts.

I've never been punched in the dick by bigfoot. You got molested, bro.

 

[MassDistortion]

That Bigfoot sounds like a complete scumbag. Picking on the most vulnerable of the intellectually challenged - the Floridian.

hey screw you!

 

[BisexualMMA]

Fucking Bigfoot Matriarchy.

 

[JosephDredd]

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/colorado-hunter-claims-he-was-sexually-assaulted-by-a-sasquatch/

Colorado: Hunter claims he was sexually assaulted by a sasquatch

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Darrel Whitaker from Glenwood Springs in Colorado claims a sasquatch attacked him and attempted to rape him while he was walking in the woods.

The 57-year-old man was walking to his hunting cabin on Sunday to see if it had suffered any damage during the winter.

All of a sudden, a large “gorilla-like” creature dropped from a tree in front of him and punched him in the face.

“It was at least 8-foot tall and its punches hurt like hell! I was knocked right out at the first blow!”
While Mr. Whitaker was trying to recover from the attack, the large humanoid creature began to tear his clothes while letting out some terrifying howls.

“When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear. I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.”
Mr. Whitaker immediately reported the attack to both the Glenwood Springs Police Department (GSPD) and the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency and a joint investigation has been launched.

Investigators found some extremely large footprints on the site, which they believe are those of the aggressor.

Darrel Whitaker is convinced that the creature who attacked him was a sasquatch, but the GSPD investigators say it’s more probable that the attacker is simply a particularly large and hairy man.

They are currently interrogating nearby residents to see if anyone noticed an individual corresponding to the description of the suspect.

According to the victim, the attacker measure around 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. He has brown hair, dark brown eyes, and extremely large feet.
If you possess any information concerning the suspect, please contact the Glenwood Springs Police Department or the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency.

 

[revoltub]

The image of Bigfoot jumping out of a tree and throwing a straight right to knock some old white man out in order to rape him has rejuvinated my positive mindset today.

Great thread

 

[Winter-John]

I guess Cyborg's training in Colorado

 

[HomerThompson]

 

[minute bull]

He got raped in Florida AND later in Colorado? At what point do you stop going on vacations with repeat offender, honey?

 

[Zer]

GSPD investigators say it’s more probable that the attacker is simply a particularly large and hairy man

 

[marioh]

this thread

 

[SMillard]

well I live in Florida and I can tell you this isn't anything unusual. Just go to just about any dive bar by the beach close to 2:00 am or whenever closing time and you can see herds of these things just dying to grab your junk.

Also, yes, in the dark it all feels the same. Or as a friend always used to tell, with my head back looking at the stars their all 10s.