Ever date someone with depression?

[ToxicShocker]

TS, it sounds like this girl might have more problems than just depression. Her behaviour seems to be a bit beyond that which is symptomatic of typical depression.

Anyway, to answer the question, yes, I have dated someone with depression, namely my wife. We’ve been together since 2006 and she was diagnosed with depression 2011 and was on antidepressants until 2016. In hindsight she showed the symptoms of depression in 2009, I was just too stupid to really notice them or to much of a pussy to discuss my concerns with her then.

My advice would be to stay away if you’ve only been with this girl a few months as being with someone who’s depressed is frustrating, exhausting and a lot of work. I stayed with my wife because I love her and am firmly committed to her, but if you’re not that invested in the relationship yet (ie not married, or have kids or whatever) then you really need to think hard on this. While leaving someone with depression seems like a selfish, assholish move, people with depression typically bring those around them down with them. You need to be aware of that, and strong enough to support yourself before you’re able to effectively support the other person who’s suffering from depression.

Unless you’re fully prepared to handle being with someone with depression you’re doing both of you a disservice by trying to salvage a relationship that’s doomed to failure and which could leave your own life in ruin.

There appears to be a difference between depression and bi polar that the outsiders (us) rarely see. Is your wife ever abusive to you? Or is it more a burden that your wife tries to carry alone, and you are hurt mostly by watching her experience it?

 

[Gazwald]

I HATE YOU!

Don't leave me x

Run. She's got to sort those issues out before she can have relationships. Not your problem. Run for the hills bro.

 

[Pugilistic]

Considering how many sherbros are depressed, there isn't much empathy here when it comes to depressed women. If the shoes were reversed, this thread would be filled with posts commenting how vile and cold women are for not being more supportive of the depressed guy.

That being said, I wouldn't seriously date a woman with severe depression. I myself wouldn't want to burden somebody else with my issues either.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

There appears to be a difference between depression and bi polar that the outsiders (us) rarely see. Is your wife ever abusive to you? Or is it more a burden that your wife tries to carry alone, and you are hurt mostly by watching her experience it?

More the later, but I’m relatively sure my wife doesn’t and hasn’t ever had bipolar tendencies. But the struggle of being with someone that is depressed, it’s more than just the pain of watching someone you love being miserable. People with depression often describe it as though they’ve got a cloud over them. And after a while being around someone with depression you start to feel like you can sense the cloud too, that it’s starting to cover you as well. Being around someone that’s unhappy 70-80% of the time starts to suck all your happiness away too. It’s hard to be romantic in a situation like that.

The road to recovery isn’t easy either. Antidepressants can cause weight gain and negatively effect a person’s libido, so your sex life can kind of go down the shitter too.

Eventually being around the person can begin to cause stress or anxiety in yourself. I know during my wife’s lowest point her older sister basically told her to stop coming around her home because she didn’t want to expose her children to my wife. It got pretty bad there for a while.

 

[Ah Man]

Depression is a nasty thing, and it sucks to watch someone you love go through it. No bones about it, it's a negative. But all people have negatives, and plenty of people who struggle with depression have relationships that are rewarding for both people in them. I should also point out that depression is not always chronic. It's perfectly normal to have a single episode of major depression and never repeat it. If this is a first episode, it's not a good idea to label start applying labels.

That said, there's some seriously emotionally manipulative behavior going on their, which is not a symptom of depression, and is a much bigger red flag than depression is, in my opinion.

She might be bipolar in addition to depressed.

I don't see it. Nothing described strikes me as properly manic, and a medical doctor shouldn't be putting someone with bipolar disorder on antidepressants. Not as a first line of treatment, probably never at all, and certainly not without mood stabilizers. It's possible we're not getting to whole story on the medication (or the doctor just stinks), but from the limited information we have it sounds more like major depressive disorder to me (which also has the added bonus of being quite a lot more common).

 

[God_Emperor_Of_Mankind]

Does masturbation count as dating?

Yes.

 

[Deleted member 335905]

Sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder

 

[HunterAcosta]

I was seeing a girl I met on a dating site for about a month. She was awesome funny, sexy, not boring at all to talk to. She was really affectionate too. She initiated the first kiss, everything, first everything intimate. Went on about how great I was, how lucky she was to have me. She even wanted to take me to a family wedding with her, after a month of knowing ne. Monday she tells me she is stressed at work all morning and then breaks up with me via text. So I don't hit her up, and she texts me later asking why I'm not fighting for her. So we text some more over the next few days. She tells me about how she is on anti depressents, is depressed had suicidal thoughts. Talks go ok I think we are on the verge of getting back together when all of a sudden she tells me she straight up doesnt want to date me now and she isn't attracted to me anymore.
So it all has me confused and am worried about her safety if she had those thoughts

Run for the hills . Sounds bipolar . Don’t even be her friend but I know it’s hard cause u care , but don’t do it . She’ll drain your soul like a vampire bro . Listen to her mean , cold side not the warm , intimate side cause the cold side is the one that will eventually devastate you if u got back with her or even stayed “ friends “ with her .

 

[Graves The Elder]

dunno, my last gf Pollyanna was nothing but sunshine and daffodils.

and her sister Raggedy Ann was a doll in bed with a constant cheery smile.

 

[FinalFight]

I was seeing a girl I met on a dating site for about a month. She was awesome funny, sexy, not boring at all to talk to. She was really affectionate too. She initiated the first kiss, everything, first everything intimate. Went on about how great I was, how lucky she was to have me. She even wanted to take me to a family wedding with her, after a month of knowing ne. Monday she tells me she is stressed at work all morning and then breaks up with me via text. So I don't hit her up, and she texts me later asking why I'm not fighting for her. So we text some more over the next few days. She tells me about how she is on anti depressents, is depressed had suicidal thoughts. Talks go ok I think we are on the verge of getting back together when all of a sudden she tells me she straight up doesnt want to date me now and she isn't attracted to me anymore.
So it all has me confused and am worried about her safety if she had those thoughts

Damn dude sorry to hear about your situation. I've been in your position before.

My advice would be to just be cool and check up on her to make sure she's ok and let her know of your concern. Let her know you're there to talk if she needs to.

Dating women with depression is often not easy because of their change in mood all the time.

Good luck

 

[M3t4tr0n]

If you get her pregnant it will fix everything

 

[Kardashians]

So weird seeing all these random dudes online that don’t even personally know her say she’s gotta be bipolar. Y’all are dumb throwing a (worthless) diagnosis out like that. I grew up around bipolar and wouldn’t be that quick to claim somebody has it.

 

[M3t4tr0n]

So weird seeing all these random dudes online that don’t even personally know her say she’s gotta be bipolar. Y’all are dumb throwing a (worthless) diagnosis out like that. I grew up around bipolar and wouldn’t be that quick to claim somebody has it.

DON'T JUDGE US! !

 

[M3t4tr0n]

So weird seeing all these random dudes online that don’t even personally know her say she’s gotta be bipolar. Y’all are dumb throwing a (worthless) diagnosis out like that. I grew up around bipolar and wouldn’t be that quick to claim somebody has it.

Sorry I didn't mean it.

 

[Goonerview]

Considering how many sherbros are depressed, there isn't much empathy here when it comes to depressed women. If the shoes were reversed, this thread would be filled with posts commenting how vile and cold women are for not being more supportive of the depressed guy.

That being said, I wouldn't seriously date a woman with severe depression. I myself wouldn't want to burden somebody else with my issues either.

If I were the TS.

I wouldn't "run". I would just tell her to change her attitude or finish. If she's nice, no need to completely dump her without giving her another chance.

Unless you weren't interested in the first place.

 

[Kardashians]

Sorry I didn't mean it.

Yeah that’s right. No sassing me

 

[breadfighter]

You know what they say "Always stick your dick in crazy."

 

[Pugilistic]

This PISSES ME OFF!!!!

I truly hate human beings who are " I am suicidal and you have to carry burden of my fragile little emotions"

Like my post or I'm going to kill myself.

 

[Midnighter]

Like my post or I'm going to kill myself.

Finally.

 

[Ogata]

Like my post or I'm going to kill myself.