Death Match: You vs. Adult Male Chimp (Below Average Sized) | Page 3

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Arkridge, Mar 20, 2017.

?

Who Wins?

  1. I'd Kill That Stupid Chimp

    40.6%
  2. I'm As Good As Dead

    59.4%
  1. IAC :^)

    IAC
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    Just wear some thick fabric and it's auto win, chimps can't strike properly.
     
    #41
    Arkridge likes this.
  2. Arkridge Senior Moderator

    Arkridge
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    Do you think even if it let you get around its neck you could choke it out? Those things barely even have necks.

    Lol, I think them fangs will go straight through some thick fabric. It would probably go for your face anyway.
     
    #42
  3. Agent Mulder's Hair Black Belt

    Agent Mulder's Hair
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    I'd still pull out
     
    #43
  4. hiphopnazi Purple Belt

    hiphopnazi
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    Whats the time limit? Thinking an attempt to befriend it and all the while sharping the bat against the cage. Once I make it fall asleep in my arms with a old trusty bedtime story, slit its throat.
     
    #44
  5. Dusty Rhodes Purple Belt

    Dusty Rhodes
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    [​IMG] [​IMG] <24> Chimps are CARAZEEEEEE
     
    #45
  6. PRIDEWASBETTER Divided We Fall

    PRIDEWASBETTER
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    *Ric

    <20>
     
    #46
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  7. HwoarangStyle Black Belt

    HwoarangStyle
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    the chimp would literally rip your fucking face off.
     
    #47
    Halge likes this.
  8. KONG-D'SNT-TAP Steel Belt

    KONG-D'SNT-TAP
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    Internet wimps always fantasize about fighting chimps. Wonder how all that got started.
     
    #48
  9. Threetrees I think for myself

    Threetrees
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    Morally above you
    Morals off.
     
    #49
  10. Boost6 Banned

    Boost6
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    History class, Rome's Coliseum.
     
    #50
  11. Te Huna Matata Black Belt

    Te Huna Matata
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    With a bat, I would win, no doubt.
    Without a bat, I would lose, no doubt.

    Pretty simple.
     
    #51
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  12. Codger Brown Belt

    Codger
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    They're stronger, faster, more agile and have dog-like canines. It would fuck you up, bat or not.

    I think you'd need to be very lucky to put an agile animal with a thick skull down with a bat. If you miss and it attaches to your arm or face then you're fucked. I'm guessing they have ridiculous pain-tolerance too - animals seem to. People have been attacked and it's taken several gun shots at point blank range to get them off and the pictures of the damage is not pleasant.

    Maybe you'd have a chance with a decent knife.
     
    #52
  13. Secret Agent BOB SPONGE

    Secret Agent
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    So you'd marry it?

    They called her .... the Black Widow.
     
    #53
  14. Nonsense Silver Belt

    Nonsense
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    I feel like my only chance of survival is to seduce it.
     
    #54
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  15. RayA Green Belt

    RayA
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    With just your hands? Anybody who says they'd win is full of shit. With a spear or something, maybe.
    Edit: Just saw the addition for the bat... maybe
     
    #55
  16. snakedafunky Brown Belt

    snakedafunky
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    Difficult to say. The chimp would have a considerable fight IQ advantage over most Sherdogers.
     
    #56
  17. FyrFytr998 Black Belt

    FyrFytr998
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    Not even gonna entertain a vote with a baseball bat.

    The chimp goes down in a hail of gunfire. Or I do.
    IMG_0964.GIF
     
    #57
  18. Arkridge Senior Moderator

    Arkridge
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    No time limit. It's a death match. I should probably change it to an agitated chimp because alot of answers are trying to befriend the thing but I don't think that should be possible in this scenario. Haha.
     
    #58
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  19. Jermei Steel Belt

    Jermei
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    Gimme the biggest chimp you got. Ill take him down.
     
    #59
  20. KONG-D'SNT-TAP Steel Belt

    KONG-D'SNT-TAP
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    Most Americans can't remember two weeks ago.
     
    #60

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