Death Match: You vs. Adult Male Chimp (Below Average Sized) | Page 2

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Arkridge, Mar 20, 2017.

?

Who Wins?

  1. I'd Kill That Stupid Chimp

    40.6%
  2. I'm As Good As Dead

    59.4%
  1. Agent Mulder's Hair Black Belt

    Agent Mulder's Hair
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    i would injure myself in training and pull out
     
    #21
    pcptornado, Pwent, RayA and 4 others like this.
  2. brokenjaw Green Belt

    brokenjaw
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    Give me a knife or a shotgun and then we talk...other than that, I'd stand no chance against a chimp.
     
    #22
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  3. HunterAcosta Blue Belt

    HunterAcosta
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    Blow would bounce off his cranium and then he'd screw you in the bum with the bat. Their skulls are denser than humans . You'd be dead . Hell, there's videos of fools hitting pit bulls in the head with pipes and bats with little effect.
     
    #23
  4. irish_thug Gold Belt

    irish_thug
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    I would sooner fight a mountain lion than a chimp. There is some serious underestimating of chimp strength going on ITT.
     
    #24
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  5. Arkridge Senior Moderator

    Arkridge
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    Seriously? I think a chimp would kill the fuck out of me but I think a mountain lion would kill the fuck out of me even faster.
     
    #25
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  6. PRIDEWASBETTER United We Stand

    PRIDEWASBETTER
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    There you go.
     
    #26
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  7. PRIDEWASBETTER United We Stand

    PRIDEWASBETTER
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    Low blow -----> Figure 4 -------> I win.
     
    #27
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  8. TheRuthlessOne Violence Belt

    TheRuthlessOne
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    I'd go for a fake overhand into a double leg

    Take the chimps back and sink in the a rear naked
     
    #28
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  9. JonesBsample White Belt

    JonesBsample
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    Depends... are these the same chimps from Ape Escape?
     
    #29
  10. Fedorgasm Red Belt

    Fedorgasm
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    A human's best weapon is his brain. So I'd outsmart the chimp.

    The chimp has no reason to fight me, so I'd make friends with the chimp. I'd pick the lice out of his back, teach him sign language, etc. Then when he's asleep I'd bash his skull with the bat.
     
    #30
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  11. SoberAwakening Brown Belt

    SoberAwakening
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    Didn't that one chimp rip that ladie's face off??? Do I get a choice of a weapon or just fistacuffs?
     
    #31
  12. Arkridge Senior Moderator

    Arkridge
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    Read the OP. Jesus. Lol. You get a youth sized aluminum baseball bat.
     
    #32
  13. Fedorgasm Red Belt

    Fedorgasm
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    LOL that story's pretty funny. He's the head chimp now. I wonder how old that chimp was? He kinda makes it sound like it was a pretty small one.
     
    #33
  14. brokenjaw Green Belt

    brokenjaw
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    That's the scary part, a small chimp had a competetive fight against a grown man who was above average strong. Full grown chimp would fuck everyone's shit up.
     
    #34
  15. marioh Black Belt

    marioh
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    i guess it all depends.
    can a good swing of an aluminum bat that makes flush contact on the chimp's face/nose area enough to knock it out (or force the flee instinct to kick in) ?

    not sure if any studies have been done on that.
     
    #35
  16. 00 Buck Purple Belt

    00 Buck
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    Do I get time to prep with steroids and UFC training?

    At least eat sum fresh shellfish to boost T-levels?
     
    #36
  17. morgado388 Orange Belt

    morgado388
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    Who are you Rick Flair?
     
    #37
  18. I Am Legion Brown Belt

    I Am Legion
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    I would throw it a banana filled with xanax
     
    #38
  19. edirp Double Yellow Card

    edirp
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    That fucker will chew off your face and balls unless if you have some watermelon as bait.
     
    #39
  20. Sonny Titanium Belt

    Sonny
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    What if it was a female chimp?
     
    #40

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