Dad Jokes (Dad bruhs. Gtfih)

[rearnakedchoke]

Did I do that right? Haha

Anyways. Post some of your dad jokes here. I know mine arent funny, but it drives my kids nuts!

One of the more recent.

Put on a regular pair of nikes and asked my son if he likes my sick j's. He lost it trying to explain whats j's are ... even though i know.

 

[TheTimeIsNotNow]

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

Have you heard the one about the sky?
It's probably over your head anyways

 

[Clear Winner]

What's brown and rhymes with "snoop"?

Spoiler

 

[Aegon Spengler]

I had a dream last night I ate a giant marshmallow

Hey where'd my pillow go

 

[HOV]

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Because Daniel Cormier was following him

 

[John Wang]

Tell your dad I had a good time last night.

 

[gocubsgo]

Waitress: Soup or salad?
Me: A super salad, that sounds delicious. (Or any variation of the joke that fits)
I've made this dumb joke a few times. My kids don't get it yet and my wife just rolls her eyes. I'm an idiot.

 

[HomerThompson]

Daughter: "I'm hungry!"

Me: "Nice to meet you hungry, I'm _____!"

Daughter: *Professional level eye roll* "DDAAADDD!!!!"

 

[Deleted member 220895]

Waitress: Soup or salad?
Me: A super salad, that sounds delicious. (Or any variation of the joke that fits)
I've made this dumb joke a few times. My kids don't get it yet and my wife just rolls her eyes. I'm an idiot.

It sounds like your kids do get it and you're doing your job to embarrass them and your wife. Like every dad should.

 

[Higus]

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? They're making headlines.

 

[coopdro]

Not a father, but over 33 years I've already started developing my dad jokes somehow... guess it's genetic.

Did you hear the rumor about butter?? I'd tell ya, but I don't want to spread it.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?? It's good but I hear it has no atmosphere.

Why do riot police show up early for work?? They want to beat the crowd
--

k, maybe the last one wasn't so much a dad joke, but still funny ...

 

[El_Dyablo619]

 

[rearnakedchoke]

Good ones so far.

Reminds me of my dads go to.

As he drank a cup of tea with a spoon in it. Says he has to see a doctor, everytime he drinks tea he gets a sharp pain in his eye.

Haha. Still does it today.

 

[auger38]

*kid stubs toe*

"Oh no! Can you walk?? Somebody call a Toe Truck, stat!!"

 

[Kneepocalypse]

 

[Jack Reacheround]

"Hay is for horses. And your mom better have something on the table when I get home or I'm going to beat her again."

Haha. Dad's.

 

[Henry Swanson]

RAP music? More like CRAP music amirite?

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

I've had some good ones but I can't remember any of them at the moment. My son's only 23 months so I usually them to my wife. I've been getting some really good "you're definitely not getting laid anytime soon" eye rolls from her lately!