Catholic Church Needs More Exorcists Due to Urgent Increase in Demonic Activity

Diamond Jim said:
I’m not religious but this scene botherd me when I first saw it. Wasn’t the devil the most beautiful angel? He looks like a cheap Atlantic City hustler that doesn’t shower daily.
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The Ninth Gate had the best Satan, Depp bangs her at the end and you get to see Satan's titties, no bush though.
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Devout Christians might be fools, but at least they aren't violent fools, anymore.
 
DataBreach said:
God used me to exercise demons out of two different individuals. I was praying and fasting both times.

Jesus said in the bible some demons come out only via prayer and fasting. That's why I'm weary of priests going from hometown buffet to someone's house and casually casting out demons.

I wouldn't be surprised if the priests weren't casting out demons but inserting larger more commanding demons to humble the ones causing the mischief.

I would be interested to see what comes of these demon possessed individuals years after they were delivered.

Some former altar boy gets delivered at age 20 only to become a mob enforcer 25 years later.

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He becomes a mob enforcer at 45?
 
The first couple of times I got “exorcised” by a Catholic priest, I was nervous, but then I learned to relax and began to enjoy, just like Milo.
 
Good thing our knowledge of psychiatry improved. Back in the day they would have basically tried to exorcise schizophrenics, people suffering from psychosis, etc.
 
Catholic priest: ya your kid is possessed. Now leave me alone in the same room as her.
 
Ichibanner said:
As a teen I knew a PA State Trooper named Mike who took a call for noises in the attic of a home in Shamokin Dam, PA. He was dating my buddy's sister. He and another Trooper showed up to a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. The owner was an elderly woman living by herself. They went up towards the attic with the homeowner and heard growling, thumps, and scratching. When Mike entered the attic opening (drop down ladder type) the noise went away. He looked around with a Maglight but saw nothing. He felt like he was being watched and couldn't the shake the feeling that something was watching him from the shadow of the far left corner of the attic. His fellow Trooper stayed at the top of the stairs with the home owner. Mike came back down and closed the hatch. They headed down the stairs and the noise started again. The woman asked them to stay a bit and made them coffee.

Mike got a recorder and headed up the stairs with the other Trooper. They didn't hear anything as they went up the steps. Mike placed the recorder in the attic and hit record. They went downstairs and drank coffee and chatted with the elderly woman. There were no noises. After coffee they retrieved the recorder. Mike hit play. There was growling and scratching sounds despite them not hearing anything downstairs.

My buddy asked Mike to lend him the tape. Mike let him have it warning him that it was scary shit.

My friends and I listened to that tape on Halloween in a Cemetary in Catawissa, PA to see how scared we would get and who had the balls to stick around. My friend Pat hit play and the 5 of us who were gathered there heard some crazy sounding shit. It was like multiple creatures growling at the same time with a sound like a needle scratching a record and a buzzing or static sound. It freaked us the f*ck out. Someone said "shut if off".

I've heard weird things and people have tried to scare me but whatever was on that tape was a first for me. It was creepy / scary. My buddy gave the tape back and Mike erased it. He had stopped by the farm house and the old lady had a Lutheran Minister visit. He told her that "it" was beyond his abilities and got in contact with a Jesuit who was supposed to perform a cleansing / exorcism. I don't know what ended up happening as my buddy's sister and Mike broke up so I didn't see him again. Sure, it could all have been bullshit, but if it was it was the scariest bullshit I've ever heard.
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yea..............................................thats a racoon fuckin around in the attic......
 
When automation takes my jaerb I am going into the field of freelance exorcism and haint removal.

Its a shovel ready job.
 
This lack of excorsists in our cities will surely bite us in the ass one day!
 
curryjunkie said:
yea..............................................thats a racoon fuckin around in the attic......
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Who knows, maybe it was simply an animal? The tape was one of those mini-casettes, we played it on a small recorder. At any rate, it was scary at the time. The kind of thing that sends chills up your spine. It's fun to imagine "what if".
 
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