Can't get over Ex

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Pugilistic, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. Pugilistic Black Belt

    Pugilistic
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    A confession to my fellow sherdoggers. It's been about half a year since I broke up with my most recent ex. Near the end, we were kind of off and on, on and off even though we both knew the relationship was in a downward spiral because we both couldn't quit each other. Some of my silly dating antics with various women, whom I have started threads on, have really been about trying to cushion the inevitable emotional blow.

    It was a very toxic and turbulent relationship that did a number on me. I've felt emotionally abused and although rare, at times she even physically abused me. I could make an endless list of reasons why she was toxic, but I cannot say she's the only one at fault. I am not proud of the way I reacted to her anger in some instances. I never hit her of course, as I don't think I could live with myself if I did, but there are times I wanted to and I for sure hurt her with words as she has hurt me. I was, and still am ashamed with myself for the way I behaved to the person I love, regardless of how she treated me.

    In the end, I just couldn't do it anymore and had to end it. Even the end wasn't really a clean break up. She refused to break up with me, which was ironic since she has angrily told me many times that she should leave me and she has actually left me before. To appease her, I told her we need at least a break to see if we can keep doing this, which made her flip out, but I told her I need the time and we didn't contact each other since.

    Six months pass...I still think about her quite a lot. It fucks with my day actually because I get almost PTSD flashbacks of all the fights and how much she attacked me. It's not so much that I miss her and want to get back with her, but the emotional stress, the fights, and how I reacted to all of it still messes with me. The very hurtful things she said to me still ring in my ears and it fucks up my confidence. I've had break ups before, I've had shitty relationships before, but none of them had the intensity of this recent disaster. I had an ex-fiance of three years and she was easier to get over than this. For whatever reason, my recent ex really did a number on me, and I don't know how to get over it, other than more time I guess..

    I know the go-to advice for getting over an ex is to meet and fuck other girls but that hasn't been really helpful for me. I'm not a killer but I've met several women so far and I am seeing one currently. She is actually quite a remarkable person but I am not able to be emotionally available for her and it makes me wonder if she's wasting her time with me.

    I've been doing all the right things like focusing on working out, going on trips, meeting my buddies, making new buddies, drinking (a lot), putting my energy into new activities like learning Spanish and guitar, and even banging the occasional girl...but I still wake up to nightmares of her. I feel like I should've gotten over her in a couple months, but no.

    Cliffs:
    1. Can't get over ex
    2. How to get over ex?
     
    #1
  2. BisexualMMA Don't Put My Name in the Name of Steroids!

    BisexualMMA
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    Don't think there's a quick fix. Time and distance, but give yourself credit for knowing you had to end that situation despite its pulls and attractions.
     
    #2
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  3. Losfer Words Purple Belt

    Losfer Words
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    Introspection. Sounds like you might be having a harder time getting over the drama of the relationship more than the girl in it.
     
    #3
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  4. SammyPops Gold Belt

    SammyPops
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    Did not read OP but Vegas whores will fix that. Don't forget trannies too bro.
     
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  5. UFC=Pride Brown Belt

    UFC=Pride
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    I've been there man this was me 2 years ago it just takes time that and meeting the right girl to move forward with.
     
    #5
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  6. revoltub blackwater Belt

    revoltub
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    The only way to get over your ex is to find someone else to lean on.

    The problem isn't that your ex left you, the problem is that you've claimed her as your own and now she isn't yours.

    I'd bet you didn't feel as invested in her when you guys were actually together.
     
    #6
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  7. Pugilistic Black Belt

    Pugilistic
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    Sure, but it's hard to give myself credit for not being stronger and ending sooner.

    Lol you just summarized my thread in a concise sentence. On point
     
    #7
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  8. Hyperglide Addicted to Synthahol

    Hyperglide
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  9. BisexualMMA Don't Put My Name in the Name of Steroids!

    BisexualMMA
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    If you suffer through a situation for too long the first time, it's because that's how long you needed to learn not do it a second time.
     
    #9
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2017
  10. itrainUFC Black Belt in UFC

    itrainUFC
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    forget about her and it is as easy as that.
    you have to learn how to be cold and callus as a man in this world.
    quit being a little bitch.
    it is okay to be soft and expressive but not to the point where it hinders you. same thing with being cold and callus too.
    it's yin and yang.

    sounds like she dominated the relationship.
    you ain't got her breathing down on you anymore.
    all the reasons to be happy.

    find distractions like martial arts or playing video games. pick up new shit like learning menswear.
    time will do the healing. it is all the matter of how you let go.
     
    #10
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  11. Pugilistic Black Belt

    Pugilistic
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    At this point, I don't think that would be fair to the girl and my hangups would only lead to another toxic relationship. I am planning to avoid relationships for the time being.

    I don't think that was true. I was pretty crazy about her and I reminded her often, although I don't she quite internalized it due to her insecurities. Near the end I was getting sick of her constant attacks no doubt. I tried to not be invested on purpose to make it easier for me actually.
     
    #11
  12. revoltub blackwater Belt

    revoltub
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    But it backfired, because you WERE invested.

    Have you tried just crying it out? That is what women do and it is one of the reasons they can get over relationships quick
     
    #12
  13. LEGS MAHONEY genetically modified man shark

    LEGS MAHONEY
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    You just need to run into a REAAAAAL hot chick

    instantly move on lol
     
    #13
  14. 22k Haiku Expert

    22k
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    can't get over ex?
    sounds like you need filthy sex
    it ain't that complex
     
    #14
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  15. Krixes Purple Belt

    Krixes
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    Don't put pussy on a pedestal. You need to phuck some random sloots until you meet a keeper. It will get better.
     
    #15
  16. mushishi A is a, a is a, should I save her?

    mushishi
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    Sing this to her



    Be dure to take off your shirt while you sing

    This is also an option if uuou want to go old school



    Just remember to take off shirt. Thats the key
     
    #16
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  17. orca Machida Fan

    orca
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    You only need time. Time heals almost all kinds of wounds. Let time pass eventualy your feelings will fade. You can thank me after 4 to 6 moths later
     
    #17
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  18. The Clinch Schwarzbier Belt.

    The Clinch
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    Time.

    And don't spend every minute of the day thinking about "what you should/could have done" and avoid dwelling on the pitfalls.

    Gotta find other shit to do and move forwards.
     
    #18
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  19. mushishi A is a, a is a, should I save her?

    mushishi
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    Seek out the cafe guurl and offer her a pigeon . She will make everything better.
     
    #19
  20. St0neHand5 샤 샤 샤!

    St0neHand5
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    <SelenaWow>
     
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