BJJ Clingy Training partner

[Evenflow80]

Bro that aint right, she should have seen a few doctors along the way.

It wasn't right or normal, and I put up with it for years and now I'm somehow villianized for the few times I said anything. It sucks

Most of it was hygiene issues , not medical. She was just lazy unfortunately

 

[Evenflow80]

Did she only start to smell bad after tying the knot?

No, she was like that before. In fact I even walked away at the beginning when something nasty happened, but I felt bad for her and came back. I never told her why but I think she suspected the reason.

 

[Slothbroth]

No, she was like that before. In fact I even walked away at the beginning when something nasty happened, but I felt bad for her and came back. I never told her why but I think she suspected the reason.

Wow, so you married even though you were grossed out by her?

 

[Evenflow80]

Wow, so you married even though you were grossed out by her?

Yup. I'm a big softie and always find excuses for people's bad behavior unfortunately. Despite all that, 16 years later she cheated on me and left me, and now when the guy saw how nasty she is, she's suddenly remorseful and wants to get back together. I'm even helping her financially.

Sometimes I wish I was an asshole and a hard ass

 

[shunyata]

Yup. I'm a big softie and always find excuses for people's bad behavior unfortunately. Despite all that, 16 years later she cheated on me and left me, and now when the guy saw how nasty she is, she's suddenly remorseful and wants to get back together. I'm even helping her financially.

Sometimes I wish I was an asshole and a hard ass

My brother.

You are worthy of love from people who don't suck.

Keep your head up.

 

[duke_droese]

He might be on the spectrum or you're giving off power bottom vibes.

Just got to keep explaining to him that you need to vary your rolling partners.

 

[Nepthu]

Just an update.

A new older guy has joined the club, so the clinger in question now rushes to him every chance he gets. I am at least partly off the hook!

I've also moved to a different locker area and thankfully he didn't move his. He seems to o be taking the hints as he has become less friendly.

However, outside of class I've heard two brand new white belts saying they don't like rolling with this same guy because he's too rough and always wants to smear them with his weight. It seems to be a little issue with everyone just not important enough to tell the coach.

I'm grateful these little changes have helped. I've always been a friendly person and occasionally I get a clinger. It's never fun.

 

[Nepthu]

Just got to keep explaining to him that you need to vary your rolling partners.

I like that! Thanks.

 

[mattemate]

Imagine being married to a woman who always smells down and back there. Both ends I got no reprieve.

For 16 years

We're divorced now and she went around telling everyone how I always "said she was disgusting" when I can count on one hand i politely even hinted or brought it up. I even bought her summer eve douche before but it sat there unused.

I don't know man. Even in my younger days I was a magnet for stanky chicks.

Sounds like she Evenflow80 got with FunkyFlow69

It wasn't right or normal, and I put up with it for years and now I'm somehow villianized for the few times I said anything. It sucks

Most of it was hygiene issues , not medical. She was just lazy unfortunately

No, she was like that before. In fact I even walked away at the beginning when something nasty happened, but I felt bad for her and came back. I never told her why but I think she suspected the reason.

Meh. We all fuck up. 16 years is a long time to be with someone you don't like. I did 11, but we had kids. She was never stinky, but she did have hygiene issues. I told her to her face she was slovenly and I didn't want to be seen in public with her or for people to know I'm with her. She got all butt hurt, cleaned her act up for about a week (she had natural beauty and cleaned up nicely when she felt like it), then went right back to her funky self.

Just gotta drop bitches like that right away.

Yup. I'm a big softie and always find excuses for people's bad behavior unfortunately. Despite all that, 16 years later she cheated on me and left me, and now when the guy saw how nasty she is, she's suddenly remorseful and wants to get back together. I'm even helping her financially.

Sometimes I wish I was an asshole and a hard ass

Dude, it's not about being an asshole. It's a self love thing, it's about actually giving a shit about your boundaries. Boundary infractions must have consequences, otherwise they're meaningless.


I don't know if you have kids or a best friend or maybe a brother or sister you care a lot about. Let me ask you this. If you DO have someone in your life like that, would you let someone else treat them the way you allowed yourself to be treated? I'm guessing probably not. Would you be an asshole for sticking up for them? HELL NO you wouldn't!

So why won't you stand up for yourself in the same way? It's always, ALWAYS, some shit from childhood. Someone walked all over you, probably a primary caregiver, and you just took it as the norm. You've got to dig in deep to figure that shit out, otherwise it's gonna be Skanksville for you for the rest of your life.

 

[Evenflow80]

Sounds like she Evenflow80 got with FunkyFlow69





Meh. We all fuck up. 16 years is a long time to be with someone you don't like. I did 11, but we had kids. She was never stinky, but she did have hygiene issues. I told her to her face she was slovenly and I didn't want to be seen in public with her or for people to know I'm with her. She got all butt hurt, cleaned her act up for about a week (she had natural beauty and cleaned up nicely when she felt like it), then went right back to her funky self.

Just gotta drop bitches like that right away.




Dude, it's not about being an asshole. It's a self love thing, it's about actually giving a shit about your boundaries. Boundary infractions must have consequences, otherwise they're meaningless.


I don't know if you have kids or a best friend or maybe a brother or sister you care a lot about. Let me ask you this. If you DO have someone in your life like that, would you let someone else treat them the way you allowed yourself to be treated? I'm guessing probably not. Would you be an asshole for sticking up for them? HELL NO you wouldn't!

So why won't you stand up for yourself in the same way? It's always, ALWAYS, some shit from childhood. Someone walked all over you, probably a primary caregiver, and you just took it as the norm. You've got to dig in deep to figure that shit out, otherwise it's gonna be Skanksville for you for the rest of your life.

Wow, what a thoughtful response. I wasn't expecting that and I'm really grateful.

I dont know what's wrong with me to be honest. I cant seem to get a single response on any dating apps, and I've never once approached a woman in my life to just talk to her and try to see what's up.


Like right now there's this woman at CVS by my work I really like. I go there twice a week during my lunch breaks jist to kill time. I even asked her to help me pick out face cream foe my moms bday , asked her were certain things are, but she just shows me or points to it and doesn't give me a chance to say anything else.


I have my work business card with me and I had this long conversation planned in my head , but I can never pull the trigger. Today I passed right by her but realized I'm never going to do it.

It fucking sucks. Me and my ex have been hanging out again, and ahe even came stayed with me and our son a few nights, almost like she never left, but I still see the issues I always hated there : thr laziness, bad hygiene, wasting money on junk food every day , and even my mom cut me off when I lent her my car after she totalled her car.

Deep down, I know I won't be happy with her, but I'm afraid of the very real possibility of growing old alone. I'm already 42 so don't have all the time in thr world


Did you meet.anyone after your divorce ?

 

[mattemate]

Wow, what a thoughtful response. I wasn't expecting that and I'm really grateful.

I dont know what's wrong with me to be honest. I cant seem to get a single response on any dating apps, and I've never once approached a woman in my life to just talk to her and try to see what's up.


Like right now there's this woman at CVS by my work I really like. I go there twice a week during my lunch breaks jist to kill time. I even asked her to help me pick out face cream foe my moms bday , asked her were certain things are, but she just shows me or points to it and doesn't give me a chance to say anything else.


I have my work business card with me and I had this long conversation planned in my head , but I can never pull the trigger. Today I passed right by her but realized I'm never going to do it.

It fucking sucks. Me and my ex have been hanging out again, and ahe even came stayed with me and our son a few nights, almost like she never left, but I still see the issues I always hated there : thr laziness, bad hygiene, wasting money on junk food every day , and even my mom cut me off when I lent her my car after she totalled her car.

Deep down, I know I won't be happy with her, but I'm afraid of the very real possibility of growing old alone. I'm already 42 so don't have all the time in thr world


Did you meet.anyone after your divorce ?

Yeah man, I'll be glad to tell you more over DM. Sometimes it takes another perspective to break you out of your rut.

 

[Evenflow80]

My brother.

You are worthy of love from people who don't suck.

Keep your head up.

Thanks buddy

 

[etali]

I've always been a friendly person and occasionally I get a clinger. It's never fun.

I've been there. It seems like if you're just generally 'polite' to people they think you're their best friend.

Maybe tell a couple of the colored belts to nudge the guy towards using a bit more technique if he really is trying to bully people with his weight?