Best Simpsons' Line (Thread #2):

OK, everybody tuck your pants into your socks.

 
Homer: Hey! Are you like one of those English guards who can't laugh or smile or anything? [makes noises and faces at him] [gets punched in the face] Ow!
Marine: No, sir! US Marine Corps, sir!

Bart passes a sign saying "Now Entering Australia")
Bart: Hey, G. I. Joe, your sign's broken. We're already in Australia.
Marine: Actually, sir, the embassy is considered American soil, sir!
Homer: Really? Look, boy, now I'm in Australia... (hops over the line) Now I'm in America...Australia! America!
Bart: I get it, Dad.
Homer: Australia! America!
Marge: Homer, that's enough!
Homer: Australia! America! (gets punched) Ow!
Marine: Here in America we don't tolerate that kind of crap, sir!
 
Kent Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.

Grampa Simpson: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!
 
Nelson: (reads note) "Guess who likes you." (turns around to see Milhouse staring at him. Cut to shot of paramedics wheeling an unconscious Milhouse out on a gurney while everyone watches.)
Lisa: Milhouse, I'm so sorry.
Paramedic: He can't hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.


 
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Maybe it's the tear gas... or maybe this is the best damn prison rodeo ever.
 
The episode I watched today was hilarious. It was the one where homer, Barney, and the white and black guy get hammer'd and drive homers car throughout Bart and Lisa's school and kids get blamed for it.

Lisa to homer in the morning: you look extra hung over today, what did you do last night.

Then this scene happens.

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The episode I watched today was hilarious. It was the one where homer, Barney, and the white and black guy get hammer'd and drive homers car throughout Bart and Lisa's school and kids get blamed for it.

Lisa to homer in the morning: you look extra hung over today, what did you do last night.

Then this scene happens.

giphy.gif
The yellow guy is Lenny and the black guy is Carl.
 
Some folk'll never lose a toe, but then again some folk'll...
like Cleetus the Slack Jawed Yokel!

"Hey, I can see my ma from up here!"

Hey ma, get off the dang roof!"
 
Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.

Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?

[focuses in on ear plug/mic]

Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.

Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.

Homer: Get off my property.
 
This my all time fav Simpsons bit

 
The halloween one where Homer gets sucked into a 3rd dimension and the prof begins explaining by saying "this square is a 2d shape" and chief wiggum says "woah woah slow down egghead"
 
Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.

Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?

[focuses in on ear plug/mic]

Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.

Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.

Homer: Get off my property.


The giant gasp Homer lets out before telling Kent to get off his property is what makes that bit. Just the utter shock and disgust

Ironic that SJW’s these days have a huge problem with Apu being voiced by a white guy but a joke like that slides.

Would be calling for the show to be taken off the air of that joke aired today
 
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