B1tchy training partners

[EatMyShorts]

Here's the deal.

Over the last while - my shape hasn't been great.
When I say last while - I mean, about 2 years.

Lately, I'm getting stronger and fitter - and thus, able to grapple harder.

With some guys, they seem to relish having a training partner that can challenge them and expose holes in their game etc.

BUT - I've noticed with, what I previously assumed were cool'ish guys - they've become quite bitchy, if I'm close to tapping them, defend a good attempt on their part - or if I tap them.

By example - I tapped this guy during the week; first time I'd ever tapped him.
He used to rag doll me when my shape wasn't good.
Motherfucker then went on to pretend I injured his arm - which was total bullshit, cause on a kimura, I only barely torqued it.

He just couldn't stand that I'd tapped him and wanted to bitch about something.

Another guy tonight; he used to fucking rag doll me - nasty collar chokes - real fuckin' "big brother" behavior.

Tonight, I'm feeling stronger - I take it to him.

He went into a rant after the round, about use of dangerous techniques, again - total bullshit.
I could just tell he was super irate that I'd just taken it to him.
I mean - super irate.

He actually hung about after the class, trying to mad-dog me.
And I'd stake my sneakers he stayed behind, bitching to the coach about me (which he probably loved - cause he doesn't really like me either).


Point is - some people tout a lot of bullshit, fair play and improving, not just getting the win or tap or beating your training partner.
And what I'm seeing now is - ego is a huge fuckin' thing with these fools.

They obviously got their jollies thinking they could man-handle me (which previously, they could), and now they're butt hurt I'm taken it to them.

I mean - what do you do with people like that?

Actual question.

Just avoid them?
Continue to take it to them and throw down for real if it goes too far??

Wut??

 

[lechien]

Happens all the time.
Sometimes, I feel that I am more a life coach and/or parent of of a bunch of disfunctional kids than a bjj coach.

 

[EatMyShorts]

Happens all the time.
Sometimes, I feel that I am more a life coach and/or parent of of a bunch of disfunctional kids than a bjj coach.

Stories?

I need something to compare - to have a rough idea how I should conduct myself in these situations - and how I should regard these folks moving forward.

By example - the dude that complained I hurt his arm, I took the high road after the class, and just openly apologised to him in front of everyone - cause I know he was about to go on a serious bitch fest of poisoning their minds against me.

 

[Ice 9 Cobra]

And I'd stake my sneakers he stayed behind, bitching to the coach about me (which he probably loved - cause he doesn't really like me either).

You just don't seem like a likable individual.

 

[lechien]

Just don't roll with them.

They are not happy that you got the better of them.

 

[jack36767]

To be totally honest, this happens a lot. In any type of gym, whether mma, boxing, wrestling, or bjj. I have noticed it happens way more often in bjj due to the fact a lot of people who "call" themselves hobbyists take "winning" rolls pretty competitive and seriously.. but will fall back on "I'm just a hobbyist" when results or intensity doesn't go in their favor. Just an observation. It does happen everywhere but it is more often I see in bjj gyms

 

[closequarters]

We had this purple belt at my old gym who was always complaining anytime someone was rolling rough. My friend was visiting my gym and rolled with the guy. My friend tapped him about 3 times in 8 minutes. The purple belt was whining after each tap and again at the end of the roll. My friend is a man of very few words. I think it’s his Iranian upbringing. But he turned to the guy and said, “you cry alot” and then walked away to get some water, lol.

Everyone in the gym heard it and it got quiet for the whole minute break. I swear that purple belt complained a lot less after that. I’m not saying to call them pussies but if you know for sure it’s not you, than maybe talk to them about it. Ask, “how light should I roll with you”? Something to make them look inwards instead of blaming other people.

 

[EatMyShorts]

To be totally honest, this happens a lot. In any type of gym, whether mma, boxing, wrestling, or bjj. I have noticed it happens way more often in bjj due to the fact a lot of people who "call" themselves hobbyists take "winning" rolls pretty competitive and seriously.. but will fall back on "I'm just a hobbyist" when results or intensity doesn't go in their favor. Just an observation. It does happen everywhere but it is more often I see in bjj gyms

I agree; I also believe that, BJJ can attractive a class of individual that is a little tamer, that would not do well in boxing gym etc cause they couldn't take getting struck.

But because of the nature of BJJ, I don't think it's as rough as boxing or wrestling - they can do well there - but that temperament, well - it can be kind of bitchy.

Maybe I'm wrong in saying that - but that's been my observation.

Now of course there's plenty of people in BJJ that can wrestle and box as well but - I think it's the former kind I'm having difficulty with.


After that dude complained last night - the next guy I rolled with, I went super easy cause I thought, maybe I'm just being a dick and rolling to hard.
And very he was like, "WTF - pick it up already" - which is the way I like to roll.

 

[EatMyShorts]

Just don't roll with them.

They are not happy that you got the better of them.

Can anyone second this?

 

[jr jr]

If multiple people who are otherwise fairly nice and reasonable all have the same issue....it might be you. At a minimum you should do some self reflection.

Apply to:
Work
Dating
Gym
Family
Kids
Etc...

 

[KikoJones]

Can anyone second this?

I mean these two training partners and your coach?

You're not likable.

 

[andrewm2211]

Yeah in isolation maybe I’d say your training partners were soy boys.
But you have another thread about wanting to do scissor take downs which are legit super injury prone, and never showed any real concern or interest in how dangerous they are or the real likelihood of injuring others.

Maybe you have rolling dirty this whole time but when you were in bad shape no one noticed cause you couldn’t really execute.


I’ve seen a few arguments over Kimora’s specifically. One I had a training partner hurt my shoulder a few times. I believe him that he didn’t mean to but he kept doing it and I was getting pissed. He gave me zero time to tap and just cranked it hard because “I was so strong it’s the only way he could get it”. I was like “yeah but you should have proper control so you can apply the sub without a surprise crank and jacking up my shoulder”. Sure his Kimuras worked etc. but its not sustainable to tweak my shoulder once a week. He eventually chilled out and we have good rolls.

Point being you might be doing uncool things and not realize it

 

[Dogstarman]

Here's the deal.

Over the last while - my shape hasn't been great.
When I say last while - I mean, about 2 years.

Lately, I'm getting stronger and fitter - and thus, able to grapple harder.

With some guys, they seem to relish having a training partner that can challenge them and expose holes in their game etc.

BUT - I've noticed with, what I previously assumed were cool'ish guys - they've become quite bitchy, if I'm close to tapping them, defend a good attempt on their part - or if I tap them.

By example - I tapped this guy during the week; first time I'd ever tapped him.
He used to rag doll me when my shape wasn't good.
Motherfucker then went on to pretend I injured his arm - which was total bullshit, cause on a kimura, I only barely torqued it.

He just couldn't stand that I'd tapped him and wanted to bitch about something.

Another guy tonight; he used to fucking rag doll me - nasty collar chokes - real fuckin' "big brother" behavior.

Tonight, I'm feeling stronger - I take it to him.

He went into a rant after the round, about use of dangerous techniques, again - total bullshit.
I could just tell he was super irate that I'd just taken it to him.
I mean - super irate.

He actually hung about after the class, trying to mad-dog me.
And I'd stake my sneakers he stayed behind, bitching to the coach about me (which he probably loved - cause he doesn't really like me either).


Point is - some people tout a lot of bullshit, fair play and improving, not just getting the win or tap or beating your training partner.
And what I'm seeing now is - ego is a huge fuckin' thing with these fools.

They obviously got their jollies thinking they could man-handle me (which previously, they could), and now they're butt hurt I'm taken it to them.

I mean - what do you do with people like that?

Actual question.

Just avoid them?
Continue to take it to them and throw down for real if it goes too far??

Wut??

Sounds like the roids are paying off. You sound like the type of guy that makes a list of the dudes that tapped you in class and now, that you sweat all that clen, you are trying to right your perceived wrongs.

You sound like you probably went after these guys hard and might have done some unsafe things in order to “win”.

 

[dmwalking]

Bruh, that ego at the door is bullshit and only applies to white belts. After that 99% of these mf'ers have huge egos and can only handle getting tapped by higher belts. Just keep training. Keep your own ego in check the best you can.

 

[Marfa]

So you are that guy in the gym. I see.

 

[mattemate]

Motherfucker then went on to pretend I injured his arm - which was total bullshit, cause on a kimura, I only barely torqued it.

You should not have to torque it at all. If you have good positioning you should be able to have the pressure come on gradually so they have time to tap.

Ask, “how light should I roll with you”?

That's hilarious. Would get panties in a big ol was.

Can anyone second this?

I would not stop rolling with them.

Also realize, when you are matched more or less physically and skill wise, you're going to go back and forth a lot with guys. There are guys I train with, and the difference in who is tapping whom at the moment is predicated almost solely on who is training more.

I understand that it felt good to get your retribution, and you feel like your game is coming along. Great.

Don't gloat or be a dick about it. Just slap hands fist bump and keep rolling. Thank your partners after the round and tell them it was a good roll.

A guy I've been training with for 4 years caught me in an Ezekiel the other day. First time he's ever tapped me. I told him that it was a good tap and I think that's the first time he ever caught me, good job. But here's the deal he didn't make a big deal about it when it happened.

Your ego is not your amigo.

 

[Dirty Holt]

Then after I moved in and she met me - she kicked him out, obviously with the intention of bringing me in to cock plow her.
Her actions and gestures toward me - clearly demonstrated this.

However - like I said, that was not possible at that time; so I dodged her.
She seemed pissed - but whatever.

Then - she started leaving cigarette butts outside my door over the Christmas.
Obviously smoking outside in the dark, whilst staring hatefully at my door - and flicking the butts upon said door.

Then she said to herself - "enough with this fucking situation - I'm leaving".

So she found, a dude that seemed fairly cool - a good guy, but not in the same league as myself in terms of ability to gratifyingly cock plow her.

And she left with him to start a new life in another city - they live together etc.

You are one of the posters that I follow on sherdog. I do so because you are entertaining. Not with your humor or content, but more so of your perceived level of greatness being a stark contrast to reality. You also have a way with words that seems to be honest but at the same time accidentally being self depricating. As others have posted, you may not be a likeable person, although you havent realized that yet. I would also not be surprised if you were from Western Europe. I could be way off on that, but you definitely pitch that vibe.

All of this being said, as a coach, I see this happen every single year. There is a pecking order that gets established, and when someone has the audacity to improve and make some moves, people get confused and upset, and deal with it like bitches. I tell my wrestlers its really none of your concern how someone else handles an asswhooping.

 

[Quebec Nick]

I'm not completely sure that Eat my shorts is the best training partner in the world but there's one thing that is coach is doing wrong.

The role of the coach is to put a ruleset and how to behave. He has to make it clear and helping bitching someone or participating in gossips isn't a good way to do it. You have to confront the people who don't behave and the ruleset must be clear for everyone.

At our club we have a ruleset for rolling and a general behavior that is encouraged, don't gloat, be humble, don't be aggressive and don't try to injure anyone. When the coach hear people whining he asks what happened and he then tells the guy complaining how it wasn't illegal or dangerous. We have a notorious smasher who rolls as if he was competing all the time. The last time someone complained about him, the coach just said, yep he's intense, you better be ready when you roll with him.

But it's all about the culture, if people whining gets attention, everything will be up to whine about. It's pretty much like managing kids.

 

[listrahtes]

@EatMyShorts

Werent you the one who did dangerous attacks like scissor takedown without asking coach if its ok so you could play dumb afterwards?

 

[TheFakeMacoy]

Yeah in isolation maybe I’d say your training partners were soy boys.
But you have another thread about wanting to do scissor take downs which are legit super injury prone, and never showed any real concern or interest in how dangerous they are or the real likelihood of injuring others.

I realize a bunch of people have already pointed this out, but I have to agree. The fact that TS admitted to using kani basami on people at his gym, not knowing what the risks are, and didn't want to ask about it because he wanted to feign ignorance if anyone caught him, makes his training partners seem like the more reasonable ones.