I don't know what God has planned for me either but I know God exists and Im pissed off at GOD right now. I wish I could be an atheist. Just put it out of my mind. But mathematics proves there is a God. But I'm less and less thinking that god is the ChristIan God. I think God is a deist. He created the heavens and earth but he does not get involved in our affairs. So Thats why I dont pray. What the fuck does he care? God is an absentee landlord! I'd like to get my hands on god. Sorry this is my anti God rant. I wish the Bastard didn't exist. I'm angry at GOD. My mom had full faith in him and she died at 51 from cancer. But she had foolish faith, just thinking God will handle everything. That's not how it works. You must take care of yourself. My mom did not take care of herself. She had a food addiction. Sorry Sherbros but i gotta let this out. Lol and if you want to know how cruel God can be and still believe in the Christian God. Look what God the father allowed his son Jesus Christ endure. The torture the crucifying, the dagger in the side and thorn crown. Watch passion of the Christ. The only movie that made me cry. I'm used to violence in movies, the violence in passion of the Christ and what he endured and you entertain the idea that this shit really happened. God has to be sadistic bastard. Life is pain. With small moments of pleasure.