ALIEN: COVENANT Thread v.2 (Dragonlord's Review, post #1)

If you have seen ALIEN: COVENANT, how would you rate it?


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This Milton line inspired one of my favorite novels by Steven Brust (@Loiosh) who uses it as its title. It's about the war in Heaven, but rather than being religious fiction it's a fantasy novel set in Heaven. Satan is the protagonist. Fun stuff.

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Awesome book. Lost my last copy. Crushed.
 
I'm thinking the original space jockey is not an engineer. That thing was like 5X the size of an engineer. I'm thinking it's gonna be one of David's creations.
 
Nothing bad like Prometheus but added nothing to the Alien franchise. 6/10

I find it interesting fans of the series that loved or hated Prometheus rate Covenant around the same score.

Between 6 to 7 out of 10.
 
It is filler. No question, but I was able to piece everything together finally in regards to the black goo as three engineers and how they lead into the traditional xenomorph.

Fassbender is great in this. He's good in movies that are horrible like Ass Creed and Apocalypse.
 
I find it interesting fans of the series that loved or hated Prometheus rate Covenant around the same score.

Between 6 to 7 out of 10.

I hate Prometheus. Covenant is a bit better though it's more derivative with less action.
 
I'm thinking the original space jockey is not an engineer. That thing was like 5X the size of an engineer. I'm thinking it's gonna be one of David's creations.

It's an engineer in space suit. I'm certain this is 100% canon now.
 
Saw it today. Was going to watch GOTG2 but timing wise this worked out better. A 6.5 for me. Better than Prometheus because at least the dumbshit retarded choices were mixed in with more action this time around. Comments/questions on various plot issues in spoilers below


Ok so going to the planet in the first place because ONE PERSON had a malfunctioning pod was dumb. Not wearing helmets and blindly running around touching everything was dumb. I can suspend disbelief on that though. But there were SO MANY idiotic choices.

1. Hey let's all split up like a scooby doo episode. Then let's keep splitting up even after people start dying. "Jinkies gang a clu........ ARRRRRGGHHHHHHH"

2. Let's follow David to his creepy lair without asking him any questions, even after he gives Dr. Evil monologues when we get there. Then let's all split up again. Derp!

3. So Oram gets David to admit to killing everyone on the planet, then follows him into an obvious ambush and sticks his head into an alien pod because David says it's ok. And this is AFTER he sees how chummy David is with the aliens. What a dumbass.

4. So Walter listens to David's creepy monologue, sees he (somehow) cut his hair to look exactly like Walter, and then stays to get flute lessons from him? Instead of running to warn everyone about the obvious and super cliched trap? Ok den.

5. So I can buy Walter sneaking onto the ship while they were running, that actually was handled fairly well. But then Daniels, the only crew member that isn't a retard, doesn't notice David can't heal unlike Walter. And NOBODY ever stops to think David could have switched with Walter while out of their sight? Come the fuck on.

6. What was Walter doing with those embryos at the start of the movie?

7. They ruined an already obvious setup by having David constantly turn and smile or look creepy at the camera while pretending to be Walter. How fucking dumb do they think the audience is?

8. So we're to believe Shaw was retarded enough to build David a new body knowing what a psycho he is? For reals?


Ultimately they seem really confused as to what they're doing with these movies. Are we going to learn more about these engineers or nah, they're just throwaway characters? Is the main story the interactions of Walter and David, or is Daniels the main character? She suddenly becomes the focus in the third act, but it doesn't feel like any of the characters get sufficient screen time. The ending makes it look like Daniels will be a throwaway character just like Shaw. What a waste. Also why have all the characters be spouses if they're only going to react briefly to characters dying? These movies are trying too hard with the pseudo-intellectual bullshit, if everyone is just going to be cannon fodder why bother? Enjoyed it for what it was, a cheap slasher flick, but like Prometheus this came off a bit pretentious. Tackling themes it can't handle or explain all that well.
 
It is filler. No question, but I was able to piece everything together finally in regards to the black goo as three engineers and how they lead into the traditional xenomorph.

Fassbender is great in this. He's good in movies that are horrible like Ass Creed and Apocalypse.

True he can elevate shitty material but can't single-handedly redeem it. I liked Covenant despite its flaws. But Apocalypse was trash. Fassbender was damn compelling throughout it thought. Probably one of my favorite actors to watch currently.
 
True he can elevate shitty material but can't single-handedly redeem it. I liked Covenant despite its flaws. But Apocalypse was trash. Fassbender was damn compelling throughout it thought. Probably one of my favorite actors to watch currently.

He's grown on me more and more since X-men first class. Probably my favorite actor working today. Such incredible charisma. He's going to go down as a legend of this generation of actors if he keeps it up. The man elevates even shitty movies into being watchable. I think I'd watch damn near anything just knowing he has a major role in it. He never phones it in, even with trite cliched material he brings gravitas to the role.
 
Saw it today. Was going to watch GOTG2 but timing wise this worked out better. A 6.5 for me. Better than Prometheus because at least the dumbshit retarded choices were mixed in with more action this time around. Comments/questions on various plot issues in spoilers below


Ok so going to the planet in the first place because ONE PERSON had a malfunctioning pod was dumb. Not wearing helmets and blindly running around touching everything was dumb. I can suspend disbelief on that though. But there were SO MANY idiotic choices.

1. Hey let's all split up like a scooby doo episode. Then let's keep splitting up even after people start dying. "Jinkies gang a clu........ ARRRRRGGHHHHHHH"

2. Let's follow David to his creepy lair without asking him any questions, even after he gives Dr. Evil monologues when we get there. Then let's all split up again. Derp!

3. So Oram gets David to admit to killing everyone on the planet, then follows him into an obvious ambush and sticks his head into an alien pod because David says it's ok. And this is AFTER he sees how chummy David is with the aliens. What a dumbass.

4. So Walter listens to David's creepy monologue, sees he (somehow) cut his hair to look exactly like Walter, and then stays to get flute lessons from him? Instead of running to warn everyone about the obvious and super cliched trap? Ok den.

5. So I can buy Walter sneaking onto the ship while they were running, that actually was handled fairly well. But then Daniels, the only crew member that isn't a retard, doesn't notice David can't heal unlike Walter. And NOBODY ever stops to think David could have switched with Walter while out of their sight? Come the fuck on.

6. What was Walter doing with those embryos at the start of the movie?

7. They ruined an already obvious setup by having David constantly turn and smile or look creepy at the camera while pretending to be Walter. How fucking dumb do they think the audience is?

8. So we're to believe Shaw was retarded enough to build David a new body knowing what a psycho he is? For reals?


Ultimately they seem really confused as to what they're doing with these movies. Are we going to learn more about these engineers or nah, they're just throwaway characters? Is the main story the interactions of Walter and David, or is Daniels the main character? She suddenly becomes the focus in the third act, but it doesn't feel like any of the characters get sufficient screen time. The ending makes it look like Daniels will be a throwaway character just like Shaw. What a waste. Also why have all the characters be spouses if they're only going to react briefly to characters dying? These movies are trying too hard with the pseudo-intellectual bullshit, if everyone is just going to be cannon fodder why bother? Enjoyed it for what it was, a cheap slasher flick, but like Prometheus this came off a bit pretentious. Tackling themes it can't handle or explain all that well.


All very astute points. Crudup following David's advice to look at the facehugger pod may have been the stupidest action in the movie...and there were a bunch of them.

I also find it particularly amusing that Ridley wanted to give "subtle" wink, winks to the audience to hint that Walter at the end was really David in disguise (the inability to heal, the different look of the severed hand) when it was patently obvious that was going to happen when they did not show Walter deliver the death blow and showed David reaching for a knife. Lame
.
 
True he can elevate shitty material but can't single-handedly redeem it. I liked Covenant despite its flaws. But Apocalypse was trash. Fassbender was damn compelling throughout it thought. Probably one of my favorite actors to watch currently.

I couldn't agree more. Fassbender and McAvoy are up there with Leo, Bale and Hardy for me right now.

The logic flaws, shitty twists and paint by numbers plot really did in a visually stunning film in covenant for me. I think what bothers me most is that it would be relatively simple to elevate these films. The recipe and material is all there but it comes off so uninspired.
 
I really liked Fass' dull, monotone American accent as Walter. Walter was awesome.
Just sucked that David sonned him.
.
 
All very astute points. Crudup following David's advice to look at the facehugger pod may have been the stupidest action in the movie...and there were a bunch of them.

I also find it particularly amusing that Ridley wanted to give "subtle" wink, winks to the audience to hint that Walter at the end was really David in disguise (the inability to heal, the different look of the severed hand) when it was patently obvious that was going to happen when they did not show Walter deliver the death blow and showed David reaching for a knife. Lame
.

I cannot fathom how Walter was built to be subservient to humans and help them persevere, was keen to David's plans and how he was killing civilizations because of his imperfection, yet was thrown off by one single line long enough to get taken out by David.

Like....

WHAT THE FUCK?!
 
I couldn't agree more. Fassbender and McAvoy are up there with Leo, Bale and Hardy for me right now.

The logic flaws, shitty twists and paint by numbers plot really did in a visually stunning film in covenant for me. I think what bothers me most is that it would be relatively simple to elevate these films. The recipe and material is all there but it comes off so uninspired.

That list is spot on. Hardy, Bale, Dicaprio, Fassbender would probably be my current top four favorite actors to watch as well. Joaquin Phoenix might round out the top 5.

Agree with you that they could pretty easily make these better. Dumb character decisions plagued both Prometheus and Covenant. I found those issues less glaring in this one than that one though- probably because the former focused more on philosophy/ideas while Covenant went more for fan-service horror/action.

I'm amazed by how much Waterston's career has taken off in the past three years or so. I remember seeing Inherent Vice in the theaters and wondering who this actress that is like four inches taller than Joaquin was. Looked her up after and was surprised to find out she was Sam Waterston's daughter. Now, I've seen in her Steve Jobs (also with Fassbender), Fantastic Beasts, and this film and I'm sure she's got a lot more on the docket.
 
I cannot fathom how Walter was built to be subservient to humans and help them persevere, was keen to David's plans and how he was killing civilizations because of his imperfection, yet was thrown off by one single line long enough to get taken out by David.

Like....

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Truth. It takes a special kind of fool to get murked by someone that gets the drop on you, heal, come back, ground and pound the shit out of the guy and then get distracted and murked again.

Fool me once, shame on you..
 
All very astute points. Crudup following David's advice to look at the facehugger pod may have been the stupidest action in the movie...and there were a bunch of them.

I also find it particularly amusing that Ridley wanted to give "subtle" wink, winks to the audience to hint that Walter at the end was really David in disguise (the inability to heal, the different look of the severed hand) when it was patently obvious that was going to happen when they did not show Walter deliver the death blow and showed David reaching for a knife. Lame
.


Seriously it's like someone said "you know we need at least 15 winks at the audience that Walter is David". Just cutting the hair to look the same and cutting away from their fight was WAY more than enough. Your characters might be idiots in these movies, that doesn't mean the entire audience is too.
 
Awful. I almost went with a 5 but I dropped it to 4. I was intrigued for the first part, but it got worse and worse as it went on. I would have been fine with a movie about David and his experiments, continuing the Prometheus story line. The horror bits felt tacky and B movie, and the characters weren't interesting nor built up.

 
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