ALIEN: COVENANT v.2 (Opens to Sluggish $36 Million; Dragonlord's Review)

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Dragonlordxxxxx, May 10, 2017.

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If you have seen ALIEN: COVENANT, how would you rate it?

  1. 10 - Excellent

    5.0%
  2. 9 - Great

    2.0%
  3. 8 - Good

    22.0%
  4. 7 - Pretty Good

    21.0%
  5. 6 - Decent

    19.0%
  6. 5 - Average

    11.0%
  7. 4 - Poor

    12.0%
  8. 3 - Bad

    3.0%
  9. 2 - Terribad

    2.0%
  10. 1 - Abysmal

    3.0%
  1. Dragonlordxxxxx Senior Moderator

    Dragonlordxxxxx
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    Update: May 10, 2017

    Dragonlord's Review of ALIEN: COVENANT
    (No Spoilers)

    Bottom Line: Incredibly making Prometheus seemed decent in comparison, Alien: Covenant is a glorified monotonous pit stop to whatever convoluted 4-movie prequels Ridley Scott has planned.

    [​IMG]

    Set 10 years after the events of Prometheus, the story begins with the crew of the colony ship Covenant receiving a possible distress call coming from an uncharted planet that seemed to be paradise for humans to live on. Once there, the crew discover the world is much dangerous than it seems but none more dangerous than encountering David, the android from the doomed Prometheus expedition.

    From the get go, none of the human characters in Covenant are interesting or memorable enough and except for a few, most of them are just faceless red shirts. Some of them act annoyingly hysterical which results in some facepalming reactions and some act like they're in a B-movie slasher flick, but worst of all, a few do something so incredibly stupid that you end up wondering if Weyland-Yutani intentionally hires morons to be part of their billion dollar expeditions.

    Katherine Waterston plays Daniels and although she is probably the "best" character among these losers, she's not written very well nor does she have any notable moments. Michael Fassbender did a superb job with his dual role of David and Walter. Most were expecting Danny McBride to stink up the place but he turned out to be one of the very few reasonably decent characters. Billy Crudup's Oram joins the ranks of Fifeld and Millburn as the dumbest people in the Alien series.

    Despite the many flaws of Prometheus and the numerous dumb human actions, the characters there were at least not boring and Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) was a good leading character that had many memorable exciting scenes. Prometheus even had some thrilling action spectacle that wowed audience and expanded the Alien mythology.

    [​IMG]

    Those that are expecting to learn more about the Engineers will be sorely disappointed as they are just briefly touched upon. The whole movie just feels like one big glorified set-up to show the transition from black goo to neomorph to finally xenomorph. Ridley Scott stated he plans to make three more Alien prequels after Covenant. The problem now is we will get three more movies in the future to convolutedly and exhaustively tie everything up leading up to the first Alien movie where the Engineer spacecraft somehow lands at the LV-426 moon.

    The horror element in Covenant is quite satisfactory, showcasing some spine-chilling terror and graphic kills. The action though is hugely disappointing with the last two big action sequences being uninspiring and unexceptional. The pacing during the last few minutes after the fake-out ending seemed rushed and dissonant.

    The xenomorph felt shoehorned. The pink-skinned neomorph was a worthy adversarial monster on its own and much creepier than the xenomorph. It would have been more interesting if they continued with expanding the Engineer mythology rather than this run-of-the-mill monster slasher retread - not that there's anything wrong with that as long as it's done well.

    If this is what Ridley Scott has in store for future Alien prequels, he should just stop and do something else. Or better yet, allow Neill Blomkamp to proceed with his planned Alien do-over sequel where Hicks and Newt are still alive. Interest for the Alien franchise will probably die down steadily with each prequel Ridley releases. This is starting to feel more and more like when George Lucas' botched up the Star Wars prequels.

    [​IMG]

    They killed off James Franco's character right from the start due to a fire in his hypersleep capsule. That's too bad since he would have liven things up and it would have been fun to see him and Danny McBride in a serious sci-fi movie.

    Even if the computer readings says it's okay, it should have been standard protocol to wear a space suit when landing on a new planet.

    When David takes the Covenant crew back to his base, why did everyone feel safe from the neomorph when the entrance had many openings?

    Facepalm moment when one of the female crew decide to wander off alone in David's lair.

    The neomorph responding calmly in the presence of David and the xenomorph mimicking David seemed to go against what we know of the species and what David himself also stated, that they are extremely hostile and aggressive.

    The award for the dumbest character action goes to Billy Crudup's Oram. Even though he already discovered that David probably killed Shaw and David confessing to his sinister incubating schemes, Oram still stuck his head in an ovomorph (Alien egg).

    Killing off Elizabeth Shaw, offscreen no less, was a huge mistake. She was one of the few bright spots in Prometheus and fans liked her. They could have built the franchise around her.

    David kissing Walter and David forcing a kiss on Daniels were WTF bizarre moments.

    The David and Walter fight was good. Always wanted to see an android vs. android fight in the Alien universe.

    The big extraction action scene and the ending action scene were meh. I can't believe how bland and unexciting the choreography was for these big action scenes.

    The pacing at the end felt rushed. The survivors get on board the mothership and rest, then the alarm goes off with the computer saying another life form is detected on board. There was no suspense or build-up to the xenomorph getting on board.

    In space, no one can hear you scream. With each passing Alien prequels, no one cares anymore.

    Rating: 5.5/10



    Link to previous thread: http://forums.sherdog.com/posts/129824229/
     
    #1
  2. Dragonlordxxxxx Senior Moderator

    Dragonlordxxxxx
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    Most of what is on the clip is not in the movie.


    Edit: A few posters' reviews from the previous thread:

     
    #2
    scorpipede and One MMA Fan like this.
  3. BisexualMMA Don't Put My Name in the Name of Steroids!

    BisexualMMA
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    I think it opens the door nicely for a shared universe with Fifield and Dexter Jettster.
     
    #3
  4. SheetsMMAfan ——Ç®èÅtîvÏTÿ——

    SheetsMMAfan
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    Original was a classic, but they have gone down hill quite a bit on these new iterations.

    Great example of having AMAZING material and villains (aliens) at their disposal, and still failing to deliver with bad writing/acting.
     
    #4
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  5. mushishi A is a, a is a, should I save her?

    mushishi
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    Man, that's disappointing. Like hot, smart, funny chick with 36ds and fat ass, but a dick bigger than mine disappointing.
     
    #5
    mb23100, Execute, Mike and 6 others like this.
  6. AlphaOmegaMan Belt of single malt...

    AlphaOmegaMan
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    I am surprised you gave it a 5.5/6 out of 10...Ridley Scott has definitely alienated the fans of this series...
     
    #6
  7. Chesten_Hesten The Wiener of Steel

    Chesten_Hesten
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    Wow. Bummer.


    Also, im so glad John Carpenter had the integrity to "not" ride The Thing into franchise hell.
     
    #7
  8. AlphaOmegaMan Belt of single malt...

    AlphaOmegaMan
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    Aliens was excellent...Cameron nailed it...
     
    #8
  9. KnightTemplar Infinity Belt

    KnightTemplar
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    <{anton}> <bball2>
     
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  10. Dragonlordxxxxx Senior Moderator

    Dragonlordxxxxx
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    <[analyzed}>
     
    #10
    starwarzbud13, Mike, paddan and 8 others like this.
  11. Amerikuracana Steel Belt

    Amerikuracana
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    To waste Prometheus was a Hollywood blunder. To waste the chance to capitalize off the interest actually created by the so talked about frustrations is embarassing. I still might see it, because I just can't help myself and the damn prologue released made me want to.
     
    #11
  12. europe1 It´s a nice peninsula to Asia

    europe1
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    Twas as I feared.

    Ridley has been in mercenary mode for a long while now.
     
    #12
  13. House by the Cemetery Fox

    House by the Cemetery
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  14. AGGAMEMNON66 -----------Villain-----------

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    Go on....
     
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  15. AGGAMEMNON66 -----------Villain-----------

    AGGAMEMNON66
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    #15
  16. Organic Damage καλλίστῃ

    Organic Damage
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    @Dragonlordxxxxx I don't really have any hope Blommkamp is going to get his kick at the can, but is this by any chance bad enough to bomb and thus possibly spare us 2 more dire cash-ins trying to lead us back to Alien?


    I know I'm coming off as a hater but fuck it.
     
    #16
  17. Monkadelic Purple Belt

    Monkadelic
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    Yeah, no-one wants to see a micropenis on a lady like that.

    Thank you! I'm here all week.

    <Gordonhat>
     
    #17
  18. pinkybrief Silver Belt

    pinkybrief
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    I want to cry, Prometheus was like my Twilight, that's like not having Bella on the franchise

    wtf were they thinking???!
     
    #18
  19. liljoe Purple Belt

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    Oh no...
    My worst fears have been realized. Not surprised though.

    Scott is very hit or miss these days. Absolutely loved The Martian.
     
    #19
    Dragonlordxxxxx likes this.
  20. DIABOLUS Black Belt

    DIABOLUS
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