I'm happy calling myself a martial artist and calling people who compete in grappling "athletes" and people that compete in striking "fighters."
I don't feel like I need a different title from the Akidoka. We can both be called "Martial Artist." If you don't compete, you don't compete. I think my martial arts work because I largely do the things fighters do, hang out with fighters and spar with fighters. When I train with people who don't fight, we are all still sparring and largely doing moves that work in MMA.
That's not really different than an Akidoka claiming he knows his martial arts work because "armies train them" or "samurai created them," or whatever. It is still second hand knowledge at best, proven by other people.
I'm thankful that I can learn working martial arts from people that figured it out the hard way, but I don't think I need a special term that means, "I work out hard, not as hard as a fighter but certainly harder and deserve extra respect when compared to the Akidoka." My self esteem isn't that low.
I am sorry that there are people who are so given to fantasy that they can be wrong about every aspect of a topic on which you can watch live footage of real events. That's rough, but we all know when someone is sticking their head in the sand and when they aren't. You don't have to even drive the point that hard.
"Come spar."
"No. My moves are too deadly."
They might say that, to save face and to protect their sense of safety and belonging, but they know, and I know, that they are afraid. Isn't that enough?
Fighters and Athletes are still martial artists. I'm not taking away anything from them. I think being thought of as an athlete or as a fighter - or as a soldier or veteran for that matter - as an additional honor on top of being a martial artist, and honors that are much greater.