An ode to UFC 202

SSgt Dickweed

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While at work bored before lunch,
I thought of the biggest fight last March.
Then I decided to make a recount
while logged on to my SD account.

When RDS broke his foot.
Nate quickly smelled the loot,
Took the challenge with a hoot
despite only eight days afoot

Nate was on vacay down in Cabo,
out with buddies, Pete and Juancho,
he got sick from water he drank.
As Nick puts it: "shit was dank".

Mystic Mac, with all his zeal,
mocked Nate and his will,
Conor talked a lot of smack,
and even gave Nate's fist a whack.

Nate being ever so slick,
gave Conor's training a critique:
movement coach he's with a lot
in the park playing "touchbutt".

When Conor and Nate fought,
at first Nate had his face wrought,
by Conor's fistic juggernauts,
the win within reach and whatnot.

But Nate as steadfast as he is,
endured what came in a whizz,
braved the cuts meant to pierce
no attacks for him too fierce.

Nate threw 1-2's and missed,
Casual fans rejoiced in bliss.
Conor smiled and acted macho
but really was kind of 'not so'

And then in the second round,
Conor got piefaced like a clown.
His smile turned into a frown,
then attempted a shitty takedown.

Despite mocking Chad Mendes,
"so much cock", so tremendous,
starting the match as a striker,
Conor turned into a panic-wrestler

Conor tried remaining steadfast,
despite taking blast after blast.
And when he seemed at half mast,
how many fans thought 'Alas'?

Amidst the jeers and laughter,
of the fans stacked to the rafters
Procliamed the Jiu-jitsu master:
"I am not surprised, motherfuckers."

An over-zealous Conor,
tried to be Diaz' usurper
But lost to people's victor.
on that night before summer.

A rematch was then set,
but Conor wasn't ready yet.
Slated for UFC 200 in July,
he took leave and went on fly.

Diaz chose to play hardball,
negotiations came into a stall,
But then, it went back on track,
when Dana got the Stockton Slap.

And thus, in two fortnights from now,
Will fans be amazed with how
Conor will look on his feet,
despite his previous defeat?

Or will Conor again succumb,
to the dude from Mrs. Diaz' womb?
And then be branded as a joke,
as he taps to a guillotine choke?

So now it's nearly upon us cucks,
The rematch worth 4 billion bucks.
Will you make predictions and own 'em,
like I did with this long-ass poem?
 
Nate shouldnt have much issue winning. He has better striking, better grapling, better cardio, more experience against high level fighters, more experience training with high level atheletes, and he has an actual fight camp to come in at top shape this time.

Anything is possible but I would be shocked if Nate doesn't beat Conor 9 out of 10 times.
 
I appreciate the effort, but it ends there. Sorry
 
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Even gave nates fist a whack

Nice.

Pretty dirty by conor on that
 
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