- Joined
- Jun 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,061
- Reaction score
- 2
Small rant: Maybe the hormones are out of wack.. I don't know, there have been a well of aggression and frustration inside of me for the last 2 days. I just wish somebody looks at me wrong or bumps me to let it all out. I don't know, some guy honked at me at the lights, and I seriously considered stopping the car at a busy intersection, and going over to shout at him.
Some "Expl. and athl." young gentlemen were blocking the way at the store... I don't know - I was ready to push them the fck out of the way if anybody even touches me. I think people sense my current mood, because, I was rude to a lot of people these 2 days, but nobody spoke back. Even seeing "those" kind of couples annoys me so much I want #$@# the guys head into the floor and call girl's parents.
Even the way I drive is freaking aggressive... I always considered myself calm and measured, and logically I understand the great risks of starting a fight, but I feel on the "edge" of starting a serious confrontation with anyone who dares to fck around.
I am still nice to those I know, but their if they do something wrong - I also start seeing red.
It is all fueled by a sense of physical power (boasting I know), the cheat days fills your muscles or whatever, so I feel supercharged, my hands feel really heavy, but I can still swing them fast... feels like I can through a wall with all my bulk behind. It pisses me off, that I will never really use that power outside of small confinement of sports. I never been in a serious fight, but now I want to be, I want to h$#t someone.
This kind of emotions been popping up intermittently, of course, I won't let them out... but ... just need to get it out of me into the internet void.
Logically, I am guessing testosterone spikes, stress and frustration with the diet. But if I break - then it is a recurring cycle, the only way out is to clench your teeth and push through.
Sorry for ranting, will fight another diet fight tomorrow.
Some "Expl. and athl." young gentlemen were blocking the way at the store... I don't know - I was ready to push them the fck out of the way if anybody even touches me. I think people sense my current mood, because, I was rude to a lot of people these 2 days, but nobody spoke back. Even seeing "those" kind of couples annoys me so much I want #$@# the guys head into the floor and call girl's parents.
Even the way I drive is freaking aggressive... I always considered myself calm and measured, and logically I understand the great risks of starting a fight, but I feel on the "edge" of starting a serious confrontation with anyone who dares to fck around.
I am still nice to those I know, but their if they do something wrong - I also start seeing red.
It is all fueled by a sense of physical power (boasting I know), the cheat days fills your muscles or whatever, so I feel supercharged, my hands feel really heavy, but I can still swing them fast... feels like I can through a wall with all my bulk behind. It pisses me off, that I will never really use that power outside of small confinement of sports. I never been in a serious fight, but now I want to be, I want to h$#t someone.
This kind of emotions been popping up intermittently, of course, I won't let them out... but ... just need to get it out of me into the internet void.
Logically, I am guessing testosterone spikes, stress and frustration with the diet. But if I break - then it is a recurring cycle, the only way out is to clench your teeth and push through.
Sorry for ranting, will fight another diet fight tomorrow.
.
