After failing the rescue attempt of a*rac*****in theHimalayas*(a*parody*of*Cliffhanger),* Ace Venturaundergoes an emotional breakdown and joins aTibetan*monastery. A while after rehabilitation, he is approached by Fulton Greenwall, a British correspondent working for a provincial*consulatein the*fictional*African*country of Nibia. Because Ace's influence is disruptive to the monastery, the Grand Abbot gives Ace excuses by which to justify his departure, and sends him with Greenwall.Thereafter, Greenwall asks Ventura to find thewhite*bat*'Shikaka', a*sacred animal*of the Wachati tribe, which disappeared shortly after being offered as*dowry*of the Wachati Princess, who is set to wed the Wachootoo Prince to form armistice between the two people. Accompanied by his*capuchin monkey, Spike, Ace travels toAfrica*to search for the missing bat.After arriving in Nibia and meeting with consul Vincent Cadby, Ace begins investigating his case as well as the possible suspects; but must overcome his*fear of bats*in order to continue doing so. He travels to the Wachati tribal village, where he learns that if the bat is not returned in time, the Wachootoo will declare war on the Wachati tribe. Thereafter much of Ace's activity involves eliminating obvious suspects—animal traders, poachers, and a*Safari park*owner among others—and enduring the growing escalations of threat between the Wachati and the Wachootoo. This proves difficult, and is made more so by other incidents including attempts to kill him, a series of gruelling tasks set by the Wachootoo, and the Wachati princess's attempts to seduce him.Perplexed by the mystery, Ace consults the Grand Abbot via*astral projection. Advised by the Abbot, Ace deduces that Vincent Cadby has taken the bat and hired Ace to divert suspicion from himself, having planned to let the tribes destroy each other so that he can then take possession of the numerous bat caves containing*guano*to sell asfertilizer*worth billions. When Ace confronts Cadby with this knowledge, in which Ace learns he was hired as Cadby's alibi, he is arrested by tribal security chief Hitu; but calls an*elephant*to escape, and then summons herds of jungle animals to destroy Cadby's house. Cadby then tries to shoot Ace, but is thwarted by Greenwall who punches him in the face. Cadby escapes with the bat in a car, but Ace follows him in a*Monster truck. In pursuit, Ace destroys Cadby's car, leaving the bat cage lodged in a tree.Ace, despite his*chiroptophobia, dramatically returns the bat to the tribes; and Cadby, watching nearby, is discovered by the Wachati Prince Ouda and pursued by both tribes, later to be*raped*by an amorous silverback*gorilla. The Princess is married to the Prince, who Ace had to fight as one of the Wachootoo tribal challenges. Moments later, it is discovered that the young bride is no longer a*virgin, apparently on Ace's account. Both tribes then pursue Ace,*
Karateka, Judoka, Aikido, "Japanese Jujitsu" =P and boxing.
[QUOTE=amyas;70996217]I am going to hang you upside down pee in your nose and stick a cat fish in your ass![/QUOTE]