BJJ black belt takes his own life

[2008]

Originally Posted by Latecomer

That's a sad story; depression is a killer. Perhaps he felt lost once he had achieved a goal that had clearly been a central part of his life for fourteen years; hanging himself with his black belt so soon after he received it was almost certainly a symbolic choice. It's a shame he wasn't able to transfer the same drive and discipline he brought to BJJ to other parts of his life.

I know from personal experience that depression is so confounding -- both for the person suffering from it and for those around them.

To the TS. Sorry for losing a good friend.

I agree with this quote. Whatever problem(s) your friend had it had nothing to do with jiu-jitsu. The healthy part of BJJ when looking at the 'big picture' is the improvement of your life...instilling confidence, discipline, the importance of hard work, perseverance, improving self-esteem, etc.

I don't know your friend(obviously) but I do not think he had issues of confidence/self-esteem issues (based on your description of him) which negated the spiritual side his bjj training...whatever he suffered from was sadness due to something or because of something unrelated to bjj which caused pain and went unresolved.

[ILikeDogging]

We can speculate all day about what happened. What does it really acheive?

None of us really seem to know much about this guy - even OP admits he didn't know a huge deal about him.

Not really sure what role jiu jitsu had in this sad story.

And regarding his black belt... would you really care about getting your black belt if you were suicidal? Plus our BJJ belts are probably the most easily at hand ligature most of us own.

Nevertheless - a very sad story and I'm sorry to hear about what happened.

[ncsibiryak]

Please accept my condolences.

[swirldog]

Sorry to hear. I think it goes to reinforce that happiness/satisfaction has to be internally derived. If you focus too much on material things (BB, money, chicks, etc.) there is always someone out there that has what you want and is still miserable as fuck.

Not a sermon. In fact, typing this is a good lesson reminder for me.

[thewhiteSRR]

man, that's really sad and strangely symbolic.

[seatea]

The use of the black belt needn't be symbolic, merely the result of convenience.

[Protectandserve]

Sorry to hear TS. Never an easy thing to deal with.

[trianglegrrl]

Oh god, I'm so sorry to hear this.

A good friend of mine (outside of BJJ... remember when we had friends outside of BJJ?) killed himself last summer after struggling with depression and mental illness for many years. I can't even imagine the anguish I would have to want to take my own life. My condolences to you, his family, and his friends.

[ElKarlo]

Originally Posted by Jagcorps_esq

It's really disturbing that this happened at all, of course.

I wonder though about the use of the belt. I wonder if he felt that the black belt was sort of the end of that journey, something that he had dedicated his life to for so long? Perhaps even the one thing he was waiting for, to make the black belt.

BJJ seems to have been the stability in his life, as far as I can see from the way, way outside here.

I went through a type of depression after passing the bar exam. So much of my life had led up to that moment and when I finally passed the exam, everything felt great for about two days.....and then everything felt flat. The culmination of 3.5 years of my life and the joy was over in days and it was back to the grind, which turned out to be no were near as fulfilling as I had hoped.

The timing is just really odd.

I think you may be right. After I have won my MMA fights, I rode an incredible high, which was followed by painful lows. As with you, you reach an end, and there isn7t as much to look forward too.

[marian]

I've lost a couple of people that I deeply care about to suicide and I can only offer you my deepest condolences.

Originally Posted by Allan san

I wonder what signs he was showing to the ones closest to him. Suicide is rarely without a sign. it's a tragedy to imagine the only thought that goes through your mind is that things would be better if you were no longer around.

There are often signs but hindsight, 20/20, &c.

And, even worse, for people with bipolar disorder, they often end up committing suicide when coming out of a depression on their way back up. They're still raw from depression but they are also getting back their motivation and their energy; sometimes this mix of pain and renewed energy leads to suicide.
So, so, so tragic.