Just Need Some Words of Wisdom From Older Upper Belts.

[NoAbsolutes]

Originally Posted by OgBot

Thank you again for responding.
Your criticism was not constructive. Constructive means to engage in "building up; strengthening, reinforcing"... your initial response was for me to quit and join a "team sport" where "inner-confidence" is not as much required. Whereupon, had you noticed, I included in my initial post that basically quitting is not an option.
You said in your post that you, as a white belt felt that you could "kick [your] coaches a**", what gall, what arrogance, masquerading as confidence. Any teacher that has earned the degree of black belt in this sport should be honored for that rare accomplishment, not stalked by some wet-behind-the-ears novice. This further indicates to me that you, although you've attained a higher belt, have not attained the requisite humility and are indeed immature.

Inner-confidence, yes I need this in learning to execute proper technique and form. An encouraging word; a pat on the back... that's nice, but I don't need it to move on. the "tough-love" school of thought--I get that. I just wanted to hear how other guys have handled their journey possibly providing insight on what I could be doing better. I don't think you have the emotional maturity to give of yourself in that regard.

Again, I sincerely thank you for your response

I can tell you right now my coach would much rather have a guy like me representing him and his school because he can be G'damn sure I will never admit defeat prior to being defeated. I respect the hell out of my coach and he knows it, why else would I train under him if I don't respect him? It doesn't mean I will lay down and roll-over.... ever... for anyone. Fear will get you nowhere in competition EVER. I am intellectually well aware that Alistair Overeem is a far superior martial artist to myself, and he's also about 80 lbs heavier but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't "try" to beat his ass if he was mackin on my girl. There are no sure things in competition unless you don't try, then you will surely fail. My confidence assures that I will never defeat myself and this is the point i was poorly attempting to make.

[OgBot]

Originally Posted by Dochter

There are guys that are better than me. There are guys that will always be better than me because bjj is my hobby, not my profession. Buddies of mine that are now black belts while I'm just a brown will remain better than me as long as we all train. I can accept that but none of that is okay.
If it is okay with you, you'll top out as a low purple belt.

People talk about humility on the mats and it is important. Complacency is not. Complacency is stagnation. Never be okay with there being people better than you.

That, possibly, was his point. Or, as you said, he's a douchebag punk kid (equally likely).

If that was his point, I think it got lost in translation because there will always be people better than me; that is a given. No matter how much I train; I will never be as good as Marcelo Garcia, Lloyd Irvin or Andre Galvao. Time put in and experience puts them way ahead of me so I can not get upset because of their place in the game. I either honor and respect their contribution or not, but it is senseless to be upset that they are better than me and sets me up for an endless angry spiral.

[OgBot]

Originally Posted by NoAbsolutes

I can tell you right now my coach would much rather have a guy like me representing him and his school because he can be G'damn sure I will never admit defeat prior to being defeated. I respect the hell out of my coach and he knows it, why else would I train under him if I don't respect him? It doesn't mean I will lay down and roll-over.... ever... for anyone. Fear will get you nowhere in competition EVER. I am intellectually well aware that Alistair Overeem is a far superior martial artist to myself, and he's also about 80 lbs heavier but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't "try" to beat his ass if he was mackin on my girl. There are no sure things in competition unless you don't try, then you will surely fail. My confidence assures that I will never defeat myself and this is the point i was poorly attempting to make.

Look, I have absolutely no quarrel with you and indeed, I have learned a few things in your responses and I truly respect the progress you have seemingly made. However, I must also disagree that fear does have a place in competition: you must fear the arm-bar; you must fear the rear-naked choke; you must fear guard pass. But where we agree is that we must not let fear dictate our opposing responses.

I think we've gotten far from my original inquiry, but that happens now and then.

[NoAbsolutes]

Originally Posted by OgBot

Look, I have absolutely no quarrel with you and indeed, I have learned a few things in your responses and I truly respect the progress you have seemingly made. However, I must also disagree that fear does have a place in competition: you must fear the arm-bar; you must fear the rear-naked choke; you must fear guard pass. But where we agree is that we must not let fear dictate our opposing responses.

I think we've gotten far from my original inquiry, but that happens now and then.

Tangents are fun

[Dochter]

Originally Posted by OgBot

If that was his point, I think it got lost in translation because there will always be people better than me; that is a given. No matter how much I train; I will never be as good as Marcelo Garcia, Lloyd Irvin or Andre Galvao. Time put in and experience puts them way ahead of me so I can not get upset because of their place in the game. I either honor and respect their contribution or not, but it is senseless to be upset that they are better than me and sets me up for an endless angry spiral.

So, complacency it is.

[OgBot]

Originally Posted by Dochter

So, complacency it is.

Well, if by complacency you mean not being ok with people better than you, then I must disagree with you.

If you mean complacency where one may plateau and although means and ability exist to surmount, chooses not to fight through and advance, thereby settling, then I agree with you.

My how this thread has taken a turn, but it's like that sometimes...

[Dochter]

As much as you may disagree with tone or presentation, NoAbsolutes mentality is actually rather essential--depending on your goals (which for you remain unclear despite lots of people asking what they are). That assumes that he's willing to "lose" at times for the long-term benefits. I'm guessing he is.
To me your mentality seems problematic.

And no, you should not fear armbars, chokes, passes or anything.

[OgBot]

Originally Posted by Dochter

As much as you may disagree with tone or presentation, NoAbsolutes mentality is actually rather essential--depending on your goals (which for you remain unclear despite lots of people asking what they are). That assumes that he's willing to "lose" at times for the long-term benefits. I'm guessing he is.
To me your mentality seems problematic.

And no, you should not fear armbars, chokes, passes or anything.

Thank oyu for your response.
I've no problem with NoAb at all. He made some quite valid and thoughtful comments and brought up issues I hadn't considered. On some things we actually agree and I said as much to him in PM so as not to appear to be going back and forth.

Yes, I do have to review my goals: what I want to get out of this.

But I'm not understanding why you suggest my "mentality" is problematic. Please elaborate; your comment is not clear to me.

And you must fear an attack or how will you prepare a proper defense. I think you may be hung up on the definition of the word fear vs. scared. I don't mean scared as in cower, tuck tail and run. I mean fear as in respecting the technical and physical power and skill of a worthy opponent.

[Dochter]

Originally Posted by OgBot

Thank oyu for your response.
I've no problem with NoAb at all. He made some quite valid and thoughtful comments and brought up issues I hadn't considered. On some things we actually agree and I said as much to him in PM so as not to appear to be going back and forth.

Yes, I do have to review my goals: what I want to get out of this.

But I'm not understanding why you suggest my "mentality" is problematic. Please elaborate; your comment is not clear to me.

And you must fear an attack or how will you prepare a proper defense. I think you may be hung up on the definition of the word fear vs. scared. I don't mean scared as in cower, tuck tail and run. I mean fear as in respecting the technical and physical power and skill of a worthy opponent.

I tend to attribute the meanings words have to the words. I'm funny like that.
Your mentality is a more difficult thing to discuss since I don't know you. I do know the mentality that world champions and high level athletes in various sports is more similar to the other guy than yours (or mine).