Sherdog Mixed Martial Arts Forums

Go Back   Sherdog Mixed Martial Arts Forums > General Discussion > Mayberry Lounge

Mayberry Lounge Light-hearted humor and intelligent discussion only. No flaming.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-20-2006, 04:25 PM   #1
fu-noob**
Banned
 
fu-noob**'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,747
vCash: 500
Good Rap Punchlines

Anyone got some good rap lines? Clever ones, or just good ones.

You'll think im spellin' Iverson when the beef all done, cuz I'll leave you on the IV in the ER, SON.

Don't feel sorry for me, have a party for me, bitches baloons bacardi and weed.

Yall scared I can tell, but I'ma get BUCKS like Milwaukee cuz like Sam I Cassel.


“Real sick, brawl nights, I perform like Mike
Anyone - Tyson, Jordan, Jackson
Action, pack guns, ridiculous
And I’m, quick to bust, if my ends you touch”

Keep em comin...

fu-noob** is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 04:33 PM   #2
xinster
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
vCash:
the demigodz got some of the best punchlines ever, maybe only paralleled by Chino Xl...But chino doesn't specialize in battle punchlines...


[Man Speaking]
I would like to take a few minutes of your time to...
Give you eh..The evidence on a few typical cases...
Cases of individuals, which I consider so dangerous to this nation

[All]
4, 3, 2, 1

[Celph Titled]
In this rap game you can say your better than me
But on the streets you can't crack as many heads as me
I take beef seriously; I'd rather beat you with the mic
than let you battle me with the rhymes you wrote last night
Those battles in the park you can save that for the 80's
How I'm a let *****s when they whole crew tried to degrade me
Give me your albums, run to the store sell 'em back
Flatten your frame and use your body as a welcome mat
No hospitality, I'll jus show you a hospital
I make moves and do things, even God would say's impossible
A wild animal, eager to break the chain lock
Your bitch wasn't Asian, but she sure as hell could 'Bangkok'
I get paid just to talk over beats
Step in your hood, act like I own it, walk all over your streets
A lot of herbs don't like Celph, and say he's not underground
But I'm a blow soon, so y'all can jus hate on me now
I represent New York City, and the life that it leads
Hustle for dough and stick a ho until her fucking pussy bleeds

[Open Mic]
Ayyo I'm too hot blow the spot
Nitroglycerin
Sizzling
Dropping more lines then fisherman
With hooks to keep you listen
Feel the friction
Cuz my diction
Going to make you move like eviction
Demigodz in the jurisdiction
Keep it in mind like intuition
You think you hitting but your missing
Cats wishing
That they had the ammunition
To witness the documentary
Of how my raps written
I inhale a breath within my chest before I'm blessing hip-hop
I'm taking every shot I got like bulletproof vests
I never said that I'm the best but I'm better than you
Try to step but I'm ten steps ahead of your crew
I'm deaden you
And every fake move you make
Embedding you in the dirt
Till I cause earthquakes
Say you never heard of me
But your ho knows my name
Yo it's Open Mic
Screaming on tracks like Lois Lane

[Apathy]
You couldn't spit if you were a virgin bitch who hates swallowing
Leave you wit fat lips like chicks getting collagen
Implants to enhance
Lips to blow
My dick for dough
I'm slick rocking kicks and clothes
Your girl buys me
A little upset it don't surprise me
I get more freaks between sheets than the Isleys
My record is tight for wrecking the mic
I know some ho at my shows getting naked tonight
And all the promoters know if i'm setting it right
They'll be cops in riot gear expecting a fight
I'm off the hook
Ya'll are just soft and shook
So don't start it
The meanest in Adidas
Make a genius look retarded
Ap's got more raps
Than cats got drug raps
Slug caps
Or gats on thug tracks
I need somebody to blast that

Cuz I got the bomb set
Like a Vietnam vets flash back

[Celph Titled]
Yo, I rip the head off *****s that try to oppose
And I don't like to talk to hoes
Unless they don't where clothes
Any rapper out there that think they better than Celph
Can get decapitated with your head on my shelf
Jus as a little trophy that I like to collect
I make beef jerky strips from the skin on your neck
I throw your hype man off the stage from running his mouth
Me and my *****s on the corner straight dunnin it out
With the semi-auto heat complete with chrome nozzle
Jump on the FDR with the whip at full throttle
My ancestors came from the island in Cuba
Now I transcend the legacy thru chips in computers
And take trips to Bermuda, with nothing else to do
Swear my self under the oath and never tell the fucking truth
I be so blasphemous I seek shelter in storms
Beyond the norm avoid the lightning when i'm in human form
Every verse I write is classic felt by heads everywhere
Celph Titled number one master of the dragon's lair
A bone carpenter make figurines out of your skeleton
Rob you of your soul and take it with me back to hell again

[Open Mic](Apathy)
Picture perfectionism
Whenever I bless the rhythm
I make heads spin like Rock Steady exorcisms
Open Mic's the type of emcee who rips scenes
Bullets stream i'm cutting you clean like wolverine
With claws popped
After the verse your jaws dropped
I'm raw hot
Big dick
You're all small ****
I'm gangsta
(Wait, no he's not)
I'm atomically nuclear solar supernova hot
Defeating me is an impossible plan
I burn emcees like a tropical tan
Because no obstacle can
Stand in the way of one unstoppable man
I knock your dick in the dirt
And put your face in the sand
For those who bite or copy me
I'm striking like the lottery
The mic's apart of me
That goes together like ghettos and poverty
And don't follow me
It's possibly due to my high velocity
Philosophy
(And I'll fuck your mom muthafucka)

[Apathy](Celph Titled)
I got the whole entire planet saying Apathy's fly
That's why they play me in their walkmans till their batteries die
From the thugs at crack spots
That listen with gats cocked
To cats on laptops
To jock whatever Ap drops
These underground backpacker's think I'm crazy
Cuz my favorite emcees are Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z
I'm dropping data that could make your Pentium break
And dick that could make a veteran lesbian straight
You want to test like a ??? competed
Stop playing Ap will never be defeated
I leave the competition mentally stressed
Like teenage girl taking a pregnancy test
You better drop the mic from your hand
You ain't the man
You jus an overly obsessed fan like Stan
When you finally built the courage to spit ask Celph
(Yo the songs over money you played your self)

  Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 04:35 PM   #3
xinster
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
vCash:
Perfection
flawless, masterpiece, no mistakes
Back in the 1800's I was burned at the stake
Metaphor Mephistopheles
Degrees I've achieved
The brain fluid it takes to believe
would equal the seven seas
I could reveal the true name of God
But you would go insane upon hearing it
Release enough winds to
blow down pyramids
I'm the Michelangelo of syllables
Since I freestyle
Genesis been biblical
That's something you got to give in to

[Verse I]
Since born in my mama's vaginal sauna
As a sono-gram, I've been fond of phonics
It's ironic, even as an embryonic
Fed through an umbilical
don't that sound biblical?
I've been a terror
Since I teareth out of the u-terus
Because evil plans were made to defeat us
As a fetus
Though now I walk in infamy
As a child they had it in for me
Was raised with guns in infantry
In diapers and in infancy
The childhood of a hood
that was raised in the hood
Cops said "put your hands in the hot sky"
I put my hands down on the hot hood
I can't whine or drink wine
Nine planets planned it
'Til it became apparent
My parents shouldn't have been a parent
State to state we ran some
I wasn't worth no ransom
Money, won't you hand some?
A ***** wasn't handsome
Raise the mind like Charles Manson's
New I was some man's son
But which one?
That made me strong
created my poison tongue..

[Chorus]

[Verse II]
Why you cut school?
Cause you ain't feel too good
I cut school
cause my cuts ain't heal too good
Through all the physical abuse
My mind escaped
through the gift of wordplay
I memorized encyclopedias and dictionaries
I wrote anthems from antonyms
Harmonies from homonyms
Created cinema from synonyms
Was livid to eliminate
that illustrious life you're livin' in
Wrote rhetoricals in rhythms
I can paralyze with a parable
Made rhymes out of religion
Use a prefix as a crucifix
Or suffocate you with a suffix
Wrote lectures so infectious
They're known to infect the listeners
Who dissin' us?
Yo punks you wait – I punctuate
My karma's the comma
That put you inside of a coma
Hyphen, dot, dot, semi-colon
Leave you semi-swollen
Question mark: You pregnant?
Oh you're not? I love you, Period
To sum it up, language is my essence
Fucked up in all my adolescence
Till my Mom's was out of lessons
Laws, I store convenient
Still I rob a convenience store
Love Mom, Fuck Mom
Shit, I don't love me no more
Mentally it didn't register, bitch
Empty the register, bitch
You just a cashier, bitch
Give the cash, here
Or I'll shoot you in your cabbage
Hijack a getaway cab, bitch
Words ain't makin' me no loot
Don't change now Dow Jones average
Regardless, we Godless
They stole my innocence
In a sense, the judge sentenced me
To 3 lifetimes sentences
To write my life in times and sentences
Art my dark arch nemesis
They want me off the premises
That's what the premise is
Locked on a tier
where you can't shed a tear at
I studied more Shakespeare
Than any African can shake a spear at
And the whole world fear that
And it hurts
I got caught for killing time
But then I got with words

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
People can say whatever they want about me
But agree that I am the Wordsmith
They can try to ignore everything that I've achieved
But agree that I am the Wordsmith
I am the Wordsmith
Yo, the love of words is deep in my veins
Must be to silence my pain
I am the Wordsmith
And even if I never move a million units
It's my blessing how I do it, cuz
I am the Wordsmith

[Verse III]
I'm in a game full of morons
And they keep putting more on
I tutor the Torah
I'm in the core of the Qu'aran
The mind's what I represent
And mc's better re-present
I'm taking this rappin' bullshit
to the fullest extent
I have reservations
why Indians are on reservations
Told that board of education
I was bored of education
As far as this go
I leave you deader than Disco
Rocking sex and violence
Over sax and violins
Through your minds camera lens
You're in need of an ambulance
I'll knock you to the asphalt
It's your own ass fault
Your last thought
I'll never sell my self short to be famous
And taking it up the anus just ain't us
The world could get the penis
Of this classically trained pianist
My P.O. was p.o.'d
Handed me a cup, told me to "pee in this"
The linguist musician
My college position is that my intuition
Told me I wouldn't be affordin' tuition
My education's all on my own
I might have been born yesterday
But I rhyme like there's no tomorrow..

[Chorus]

  Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 04:38 PM   #4
fu-noob**
Banned
 
fu-noob**'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,747
vCash: 500
Punchlines bro, not the whole song...

fu-noob** is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 04:40 PM   #5
xinster
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
vCash:
Did you want me to pick a specific one? i don't really care, why don't you do it.

  Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 04:56 PM   #6
Steve Dougson

Black Belt
 
Steve Dougson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell
Posts: 6,959
vCash: 934
Suckaz don't battle me cause I leave them dead
Wasted like any time spent reading this thread.

__________________
Helio Gracie must be rolling in his grave.
Steve Dougson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 04:57 PM   #7
Mens Rea**
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: www.palinaspresident.us/
Posts: 10,724
vCash: 500
Den Den Den Den Da! GoGo Gadgit Dick!

Mens Rea** is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 05:01 PM   #8
Bill Cosby

Brown Belt
 
Bill Cosby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,540
vCash: 500
When i die bury me butt naked and face down in the grass, so i can fuck the world while yall kiss my ass
-Ras Kass

__________________
KAWA when the walls fell down.
Bill Cosby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 07:13 PM   #9
Legend Killer

Orange Belt
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 252
vCash: 500
You snakes, stop hidin in the grass
Sooner or later I'll cut it knock the blades in yo ass
You homo *****s getting AIDS in the ass
While the homie here tryna get paid in advance


not the greatest but one I just heard like two minutes ago on my Ipod. Its Lil Wayne's "Go DJ"

Legend Killer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2006, 09:51 PM   #10
Flashfan

Blue Belt
 
Flashfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 926
vCash: 500
"Hangin' up on n****s, like I want you to meet my n***a tone" - Talib Kweli

"The system turns man, child and women into figures, two columns for who is and who aint n****s" - Mos Def

"I analyze where I rest my eyes, and chastise the best of guy's with punchlines" - Common

"Some people say I'm a conscious rapper, but I'm a monster when I gotta smack the shit out of a nonsense actor" - Talib Kweli

"I buy my nickles from a dime that goes by the name of Penny" - Atmosphere

__________________
D-Wade 2006, 2012 and 2013 NBA Champion.

Last edited by Flashfan; 07-22-2006 at 06:31 PM.
Flashfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Latest Threads



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:22 PM.

Sherdog.com Forum Rules Clear Cookies Social Groups Lost Password
Contact Us - Sherdog Forums - Archive - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Top - AdChoices

Skin made by Alex. © iStyles.uni.cc Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
forums.sherdog.com is a property of CraveOnline Media, LLC, an Evolve Media, LLC company. ©2014 All Rights Reserved.
monitoring_string = "fd5733925866a04e50edd70f38dfaa35"
monitoring_string = "603ac9fff68f23709f2a42bf5e29272b"